[cbrink7]

I was just reading the posts on how old the birthmom/BF were...I enjoyed everyones posts

I was interested to see that there were a few that were in thier late 30's or early 40's. My husband and I are realativley young (me 26 DH 33). I was curious as to whether older E/Bparents would consider us because of our age.

I was just wondering what your experiences had been!



Also, while I am here ...I was diagnosed with skin cancer at 22. It was caught very early (insitetu (sp?) which is before stage 1), and it is completly gone now after surgury (YEA!). I go to the dermo every 6 months for checkups and other than a few minor things everything has been great. I am also very diligent about getting rid of anything I am not comfortable with (I mean I don't need moles, so why not get rid of them ).

Is this going to be an issue for the HS?

Thank you so much

[mommy3]

I doubt that your bout with skin cancer will be considered anything but a blip on the screen in your HS. Most medical issues are simply considered part of life, from my experience. I have friends who have adopted with all sorts of medical conditions and doubt that this will cause any issues for you.

Both of our children's birthparents were younger than us, but our 2-year-old's birthmom had originally wanted "only a younger couple" and then decided on us (yea!), but there are many situations with older bparents than aparents out there. Best of luck! susan

[veggiegirl]

First of all, yah for you for catching the cancer so early and double yah for beating it! Cancer sucks! DH was diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma (soft tissue canccer) in his femur, just below the hip, at age 21. He has been cancer-free for 9 1/2 years. His cancer was very serious - it had spread to his lungs and his treatments were just awful. He had local radiation, total bodi irradiation, high-dose chemo, and a bone marrow transplant. It was later revealed that he had about a 5% chance of survival - yuck. Only side effects he has now are limited flexibility of his leg and some short-term memory loss and of course infertility. We don't consider any to be a problem though - he's healthy and VERY happy-go-lucky! Anyway.....we asked a lot of agencies about his history and all seemed to say with documentation it should be fine. Honestly, we've had WAY more problems getting affordable life insurance for him! We have never had a problem thusfar and we are homestudy approved. I really don't think you'll have a problem, especially since yours was caught so early, was easily treated, and there haven't been any reoccurances. Best of luck!!!

[minibus]

We were not actually chosen (agency choice), but we are matched with an emom who is older than us (she is 39, we are 32 and 33).

Many emoms will also still be younger than you. From what I've seen there are 3 groups - the young teen emoms (16-19), the college-aged emoms (20-24) who are not ready to take on starting a family or who already have a kid or two, and the older emoms (mid-late 30s), who either already have their families or who have an unplanned pregnancy.

As far as your skin cancer ... I really can't see that being an obstacle.

Best of luck to you on your journey!!

[mommamarci]

We are also young. I am 26, dh is 27. With our first, bmom was a few months older than me. This time bmom was 31. The first time was an agency pick, but we were selected the second time.

You never know what will draw someone to you. An emom may think about how much more energy you have and choose you! Good luck!

Oh, and the cancer. No personal experience, I just wanted to say Yay! for beating it!!

[JustCourtney]

Congratulations on starting your journey and being healthy!

I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer 3 years ago. The mass was very small (3mm) and had not spread. I had my thyroid removed and radiation. I have had full body scans every year since, and was given a clean bill of health (My oncologist actually refers to thyroid cancer as "the best cancer" because it has over a 90% survival rate, you can remove the organ and replace it with a daily pill, and it is super easy to test for it. ha!)

I can tell you from own experience that your medical history should not be a problem if you are planning on domestic adoption. If you are looking into international, you will find that any cancer diagnosis will disqualify you from several countries. This being said, you should be upfront with agencies and SW when interviewing them. Mine didn't even flinch. I did have to get a letter from my oncologist explaining my diagnosis and treatment, along with a statement that I had a "normal life expectancy" and no lasting impairments that would keep me from parenting.

If you would like any additional support or info, there is a yahoo group , adoption-after-cancer (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adoption-after-cancer/) that I have found great! Not a lot of activity, but tons of info and responses every time I have posted.

best of luck to you!

[devildogwife]

My son's birth mom and birth dad are older than my DH and I. We are 24 and his birth mom just turned 31. We started the process at 22, matched when we were 23 and our son was born a few months later. I don't think our age was a negative factor for Cameron's birth mom at all. We had a lot of things in common that she liked; being from the same part of the country, being familiar with her culture, etc. I don't recall even discussing our ages actually.

[cbrink7]

Thank you all for your replies...just something that I was curious about!

And as for all the cancer survivers.. I am so happy for you all that you all had good diagnoses for your families/yourself! Cancer was really a curve ball at 22, but I am so lucky that I did catch it in time and only had to have surgury to remove it. I always remind myself how lucky I was. Like I said before, I have had some minor things since then, but nothing that lowers my life expectency (Thank you God!), and again all caught really early and taken care of. If anything I am too diligent (if there is such a thing when it comes to your health ).

We are doing domestic, so I was pretty sure it would not be a problem (they seem to be more understanding). I just wanted to hear it from you all!

Thank you all again for your support

[pats]

I am 36 and my husband is 43. Our first birthmom (17 yrs) and bd (20 yrs) wanted a couple under 40 but were willing to be flexible on this if everything else matched. We got our first son 3 weeks before my dh turned 40! Our second adotion just occured 2 months ago. birthmom was about 33 yrs and BD was in his 50s with grown children from his earlier marriage.

I think age is only one factor. If other things fit I doubt it will be a deal breaker for most people.
Good luck!