[KIC1975]

When did you travel for the birth. There is some discrepancy about the due date. Should we wait until she goes into labor, we would miss the birth for sure, or travel just before the due date and hang out until she goes into labor? We don't want to just hang out for weeks though if she is late. ?? Any ideas?
Thanks

[blessedbybug]

I guess I would ask what the expecting mother/parents want first, before you make that decision. Are you included in her birth plan? That would be the first place to start. We waited in both our situations for the expecting mother to call us and let us know she wanted us to come. They were both born a couple weeks prior to the due date. We were there for the birth of DD (2 hour drive) and we didn't make it to the birth of DS (6 hour drive).

[KIC1975]

Hmmm, the problem is that we will definitely be flying. Even if we are not included in the birth plan we need to think about travel plans. It's just sooo expensive to try to get plane tickets immediately.
??

[nycfsa]

We had that problem with my older son's birth. I was looking at the airline's website everyday for availability and prices. I was so afraid that we would miss the birth and that he would be discharged from the hospital before we got there. It was a private adoption, so we didn't have an agency that could arrange foster care after the discharge.

As it turned out, the due date was a Thursday and when he hadn't been born by Saturday, we called the birthmother (in AZ, we're in NJ) to see if she wanted us to come then anyway. She was going to be induced on Monday, so we ended up flying out on Sunday and he was born late Monday afternoon, so we made it. It was very stressful, though.

Definitely check with the birthmother. It just depends on whether you're willing to get there early and have to stay and wait or risk cutting it too close.

[Lovebug]

It is really hard to say what to do. Both our sons' birthmothers would have wanted me in the delivery room, but we missed both births because we flew last minute. You really can't even pick a date and head out there because our situations were so different, there would have been no way to predict when to go....our older son was born 9 days EARLY and our baby was born 11 days late. We did get stuck with the higher airline fees....especially for our younger...he was born 2 days after a MAJOR holiday and in the thick of travel season. But it is the same coming home....you get a call from ICPC and you get a "range" of time it will take, but you never know what day specifically. So we got the word and then picked a flight. Basically with both adoptions we budgeted airfare for the worst case scenario and kept searching for the best one possible.

Good luck!

[Stormster]

Even though E was induced (so grateful for that) we had so many unexpected travel costs (including a costly hospital stay post release) and a delayed TPR (add more hotel nights and rental car) it ended up being the most expensive part of the adoption. I would plan on one or two surprises if you are traveling far. It depends how much you want to be there, what you can afford....no matter what the trip will (probably) cost more than you expect.

If at all possible I'd go early. I have friends who camped out nearby to save money! That might seem a bit extreme but there are options!

[KIC1975]

Thanks for some good input everyone. It sounds like there really isn't any good solution. Hopefully we will pin down a due date here soon. Currently she is due sometime between 6/27 and 7/11.
Luckily my sister is in the area and we can stay with her, but I'm not so close to her that I want to live with her for a super long time. We were already planning on staying with her while we wait for ICPC.