[waitingforanangel]

Hello,

We are getting ready to apply with agencies, and are just wondering what the typical time frame is to wait to find out if the birthmother selects you, once the profile has been submitted to the birthmother to review. Is it days or weeks?

Thank you!

Cathy

[Fran27]

In my experience, they let you know right away if you are chosen, but not if you are not.

[HappyTwinsMom]

I would say it depends a lot on the potential birthmom and how far along she is. Our girls' birthmom got our profile several weeks before we were chosen. She was in the hospital on bedrest and really took her time...meeting with the social worker for counseling, reviewing profiles, educating herself about the adoption process. It was hard to wait, but in the end, we got two beautiful baby girls!

[Adopted-B-4]

At our agency, they didn't usually allow birthmothers to actually select adoptive couples until they were in their last trimester. Once they choose, they contact the couple immediately.

[blessedbybug]

I would suggest that you ask the specific agency that you are considering how they handle this as I think you'll get a different answer from each person. In my experience, our agency did not tell us when an expecting mother/parents considering adoption was looking at our profile. We were not contacted unless there was something unique about the situation (which for us, the second time we were willing to consider very high special needs situations) and they didn't want the expecting mother to look at our profile unless we were willing to consider the situation. Otherwise, I just called once a month to ask if our profile was shown. HOnestly it was better for us this way. I did not need the stress of wondering if we would be chosen every time our profile went out. It would have been a really hard cycle of hope and disappointment. It was better for us to be in control of when we got that information.

With DD, we were notified immediately after her other mom selected us as her due date was imminent (and DD was born 48 hours after meeting her mom). With DS we were called within the week of being chosen by expecting parents considering placing their child.

[kelceesmom]

blessed is right. You will receive many answers here. I, too, would ask the agency that you go with what their "normal" policy is with this.

As for us, we got the call that our bmom had our profile (which we were not aware of at the time) and wanted to talk with us on the phone later that day. We were chosen that day.

[devildogwife]

With my son, I read his birth mom's situation online, called our facilitator and asked if she would submit our profile for consideration. She overnighted it and his birth mom chose us the next day, within 24 hours of that first call. I couldn't believe how fast it was!

[aclee]

Maybe less...We got the call about the situation, agreed to submit and got word we were choose in less than an hour. With baby born situations it can happen VERY fast.

[mamatobe2008]

As in all things in life, it depends.
We're an AA family that was in in AA infant program. We were matched fairly quickly - 2 mths. We were placed with our daughter in early March and she was born in late February. We were told that we'd match quickly as the placing agency was in need of AA families for AA/biracial babies.

The hardest part is the wait, I know! There's nothing steadfast in adoption. Rest in the knowledge that your baby is seeking you as much as you're seeking them.

Blessings!

[gigigeorge]

With our oldest son, his birthmom got our profile in August and didn't inform the agency of her choice until she was in labor in Dec...

gina.

[mommy3]

I've heard just about every scenario possible in terms of how long an expectant mom might hold a profile. Clearly, from what I've read and learned, it's very different depending upon your agency or attorney. In our agency, the first step is always taken by the expectant mom, so she might hold profiles for a while until she's ready to call, months even. She might call the agency or the family herself. With our son, his birthparents were in communication with another family for 3 mos until the potential adoptive family changed their minds (concerns about tribal clearances). The birthparents had our profile all that time and then called us a few weeks later after they calmed down; our son was born days later. With our daughter, her birthmom had our profile only minutes and said "we were the ones"; our dd was born 3 mos. later. I expect you'll get a wide range of responses here! susan

[icunurse]

The agency that we used wouldn't show profiles until the third trimester at least and tried to limit the amount of time a pbmom was choosing among them to 2 weeks (as you were not able to be shown to anyone else while a pbmom was looking at your profile). With DS, his bmom chose us within 2 days and he was born 6 weeks later. With DD, her bmom chose us after about 10 days and she had been born twoish weeks prior (our agency won't show profiles to a pbmom until they receive at least a minimum amount of counseling and such, even if the baby is already born).