[Wisdom]

I'm just wondering if anyone's son/daughter looks like their birthmother or birthfather. Everytime I look at our son I see his birthmother because he looks so much like her. It kind of feels strange, but it makes me think of her often and has put even more of a fondness in my heart for her. Yet, I wonder what she will feel when she sees his picture and sees how much he looks like her. We haven't yet sent updates and pictures but we're preparing to do so now. I'd love to hear about your experiences with this and how you feel about it and how the birthmother/father may have expressed any feelings about it to you.

[ourdreamcametru]

In our case Castle's birthmother has red hair, blue eyes and a very fair complexion and her birth father, who is from the Philippines, is of course dark with black hair and brown eyes. Castle looks JUST like her birthfather and has not one single feature like "E" but she has her personality and little mannerisms which sometimes freak me out LOL. Although "E" loves Castle very much she says she doesn't feel a connection to her because she looks so much like "P" whom she had a one night stand and never saw again, we know more about him than she does! When we are together she will make comments about how little she looks like her and how she wishes that they looked more alike. We do not have contact with "P" at his request but do have his parents phone number incase we should ever need them for a medical reason. Sometimes it is so hard for me to not want to send them a picture so they can see how much Castle looks like their son and how beautiful she is but I am afraid I would be intruding so I don't.

[devildogwife]

I heard (in a roundabout way) that Cameron's birth mom said that he looks like his birth dad. I've never met the man, so I can't comment on that. However, we met 2 of his birth brothers and what CUTIES they are! He definitely looks like them. I'm glad I'll be able to share that with him when he's older. As far as him looking like his birth dad, it makes me wonder if he thinks about my son and if he's seen pictures of him. I wish I had something to tell Cameron about him when he's older.

[lovemy2boys]

Our oldest son has sort of the same chin and same color eyes as his firstmom, but really, that's where the resemblance ends...

My youngest son's face is the SPITTING IMAGE of his first moms, and he has his firstfather's coloring, hair type, and tall, lanky build.

I absolutely love it...and so do they. Every time they see him (which is once or twice a month for his firstmom, rarely for his firstfather) they remark upon it. It's really a source of pride, not hurt (at least outwardly).

Although your son's firstmom may feel a bit wistful when she looks at the pictures, I bet it thrills her to pieces that he looks like her...

Maybe in the letter you can put what you said here in your post - that you often see her in his features, and it makes you think of her often, and with fondness!

[mumofone]

My older son looks just like his birthmom, same hair colour, etc.

My daughter, although resembles her birthmom, looks more like her birth aunt because of her facial features and body shape, etc. My daughter is very petite as is her birth aunt.

My youngest son looks so much like his birthmom, even very petite like her.

Although they look so much like their birthmoms and their families, people still say they look like us. I think people see what they want to see. lol

[Oceans]

I recently saw a picture of my bson after 26 years. If someone had shown the picture out of the blue, I would have thought it was his bdad from HS. They were identical (at least in the pic).

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by mumofone

Although they look so much like their birthmoms and their families, people still say they look like us. I think people see what they want to see. lol

We had this happen pretty recently in the PICU. One of the respiratory therapists was doing my son's CPT (chest percussion therapy to work on the adelectuses in his lungs) asked who he looked like more, mom or dad. She than said that she really thought he looked like my . Well, my son isn't CC and we are, so I burst out laughing and then let her know that he was adopted. It was nice to hear that though since we don't hear it a lot.

[browneyes0707]

I'm told I am the spitting image of my b-daughter by everyone (apparently even my DD sees it!) and honestly there are a LOT of similarites (hair, eyes, cheekbones, height, body type) and sometimes it is surreal to look in the mirror or get pics and see how much we resemble eachother. But sometimes I see the features she shares with her birthfather (her teeth and her smile) and I think she looks more like him.

For me, given my situation that I don't have any relationship directly with my DD, it is a bit hard to see someone who looks so much like me and not be able to have a relationship with her, I think it's just natural to want to know someone whom you have a strong resemblance too. But I'm so in awe of her, the pics help remind me what a strong connection we do have despite eveything and that makes me unbelieveably happy.

[belleinblue1978]

My son is a spitting image of me and the first person I have ever known that is biologically related to me. It is such a trip to see him, so as hard as visits are I wouldn't trade it for the world.

[luvmylittlegirls]

DD is the spitting image of her birthmom. I also see some of her birthdad's physical traits. But, like devildogswife, ppl who don't know she's adopted regularly comment on how much she looks like me and/or DH, which is also true. Go figure....

[Stormster]

E has all the best features of both his birthparents who are very very attractive people. So good for him. Looks aren't everything but they sure help I always say!

But what is really fascinating is that his face is very very expressive and some of those expressions are ones I've seen each of them make!

That surprises me because I thought he would begin to get his expressions from us but I guess those are genetic too.

[aclee]

Ty is the spitting image of his younger bsister, and they both look like Ty's bfather. I do see parts of his bmother in him too, but mostly R. M tells me he looks JUST like his bbrother, but I haven't met him or seen pictures yet. She says their baby pictures side by side, you can't even tell them apart at all.

Most people don't say that Ty looks like us One neighbor did though. Ty hadn't gotten his full skin tone in (I don't know if he has now yet either) in his birth announcements, and they were in black and white, so I think he even looked a little lighter. I know they knew he was AA, but one did comment that when she got the announcement she though he looked like DH. We aren't super close to them though, and I wasn't sure if she was kidding, so I just smiled.

Everyone thinks he gets his "personality" from us though...lol

[bajj]

My oldest son looks a lot like his Bmom and his youngest brother (who is 2 years older than ds).

[HansenFamAZ]

I have only seen one pic of DS's bfather and I think my son will look just like that at 35! Eyebrows and nose are identical. He has his Bmom's skin tone, hair color and eyes. He makes faces that look just like her. DH and I both yell out "J!" I told that to J and she was thrilled!

I don't see DD's bmom in her but my friend (has who has known DD's Bmom for years) sees her in DD all the time! Bdad is Armenian, so her coloring comes from him.

Love getting comments that they look like one of us or our older biological kids! DS does (except for that tan skin!) but DD does not at all!

[Adopted-B-4]

Yes, we have fraternal twins, one looks very much like his birthfather and one like his birthmother. In fact, the one who looks so much like his biomother, has her long fingers and tans so easily like her. Our daughter looks like the mirror image of her biomother, extra long eyelashes and a huge, beautiful smile. I can also see how much they look like their biosiblings as well.