[minibus]

I'm looking for feedback (not judgement, please). DH and I are waiting for a domestic agency adoption. It seems that most of the situations we're getting are boys. Given the choice, I would prefer to parent a girl (I relate to them better in general). However, my primary goal is to be a parent. I'm also trying to weigh the stress of waiting vs. how strong my preference actually is. I'm trying to get an idea ... from those who have been presented with multiple situations or have been waiting for a while ... are there more boys up for adoption than girls? What has been your experience?

Thanks!
Michelle

p.s. I'm looking for feedback on your experience, not to have people convince me that I should be happy to parent any child or that it should be left up to God, etc. Thanks!

[srhbj]

Michelle, we have chosen to wait for a girl in our adoption journey. My husband and I would not care one way or the other............just want a healthy child. However, our daughter so very much wants a little sister, so we chose to be gender specific.

I can tell you the facilitator we are working with warned us in the beginning that it would increase our wait time. Last year the ratio was 3:1 in favor of boys with our agency.

We have had only 2 definate girls in the past nine months, both of which did not work out. If we knew that we could afford to adopt a child after this one, we would not be as gender specific, but not knowing, we have chosen a girl so our daughter can get the little sister she has always wanted. The wait is extremely difficult though, and I would say if you have difficulty waiting, being gender specific might not be the best for you.

Hope we all get our calls soon and hope this helps.

[devildogwife]

Our first "match" (and I use that term loosely) was a girl and every other one we were presented with wasn't yet known, including Cameron's. Thankfully, I was really hoping for boy and that's what we got! I personally didn't notice a trend of more boys versus girls.

[SupaModel]

I really dreamed and prayed for a boy but we decided to keep our options open and put it in gods hands. Thankfully he sent my lil boy and I am sooooo excited!

[Stormster]

Ok I'm not sure you want to hear this but we had (in private adoption mind you) 5 real situations (as opposed to scams) and they were ALL boys.

[crystalp]

Out of all 9 of the situations the agency presented to us, only 2 were girls. I've heard that it is harder to place non-CC boys because "it changes the genetic make-up of your family name." It floored me when I heard that!

[mrskt]

To our knowledge we were shown 5 times and one was a girl.

Katy

[chrisandaaron]

Mostly boys here too.

[veggiegirl]

I heard on the news several months ago that the birthrate for boys is decreasing for some reason - they suspect it may be due to pollution or chemicals in our homes & enviroment - guess adoptive parents are putting those statistics to the test! We have heard about 2 cases (well, one match and one situation we chose not to persue) - 1 was a girl, and one was a boy. We're hoping for a girl only because we have ALL girl stuff from the failed match, but are open to either.

[Steph24]

We were shown 7 times and only one situation was a girl. Quite honestly we were hoping for a boy, but we were open to either.

[Adopted-B-4]

Michelle-I think in general it depends on timing. It took us 2 1/2 years before we were matched and have a daughter now but then we already have twin boys too. I don't think it's so much that their is a higher number of boys to girls but I think many birthmothers don't know the sex of the baby at the time when they seek out an agency. So, if you have specifically asked for a girl, then a birthmother who doesn't know the sex, may not even look at your lifebook. I'm not trying to be nosey, but have you specifically asked for a certain sex or have you turned down all of those other boy situations?

[rtsmom]

Interesting question. In our first adoption, we were presented with 3 situations. The first eparents decided to parent, the second we chose to decline, the third was a charm. All three were boys. Our second adoption was not planned at all and just kind of fell in our laps. Another boy. All fours boys were born with significant special needs.

Janet

[Fran27]

It's odd... In my agency this winter about 2 girls were placed for 1 boy.

[Celesyee]

Michelle--Here's some hope for you! We were presented with multiple situations though multiple agencies....most of our situations were girls so I thought it was meant for us to have a baby girl. Obviously, there were other plans for us. Good luck!

[loveajax]

This is very unscientific, but I am on a buddy board with 11 other amoms (some of whom have adopted more than once) and it has broken down literally 50/50.