[spunkyski2]

Good afternoon.

We were just wondering if anyone out there would have some suggestions on talking to a bmom for the first time?
Questions to ask or to avoid? Topics to stay away from or those we should concentrate on more than others?

Justa little nervous, as I sure everyone must feel when speaking with birth parents.

Any imput would be more than appreciated.

Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day

[Momtonick]

Well congrats on your meeting! I am sure it will go well.
I am not technically qualified to answer since we have not experienced a meeting yet. I would assume that mostly the questions will be coming from her.

However, a few things that I've picked up along the way, most of which I'm sure you know already....

Bring some pictures as an ice breaker-help with conversation
Ask how she's feeling
Ask about her family/interests/hobbies
Don't focus too much on the baby
Try to be yourself and relax
Realize that she will most likely be as nervous as you
Our agency gives us advice on what to wear! (LOL Don't over dress, etc...)

GL and please let us know how it goes!!!
If we ever had a meeting I'm sure I'll be posting this exact question.
Julie

[Lilly's Mommy]

The PP had some great suggestions.

Remember, if the woman you speak to or meet in person is pregnant, she's not a birthmom. Just an expectant mother considering adoption.

Our worker suggested that we actually write down some talking points and keep them by the phone. It's a nervewracking experience and a moment you don't want to draw a blank. That said, I'd focus on telling her a bit about yourselves, answering her questions, and getting to know her better. It's perfectly fine to be honest about how akward you feel, because she probably feels the same way.

Most importantly, just be yourself. Don't focus on the baby at first, but try to get to know each other.

Best of luck!

[zempagirl]

I would talk about things like what her likes and hobbies are, what she does for a living, her family, friends. I know when we had a our meeting with our bmom the pregnancy counselor helped keep the conversation flowing. We did also talk about what our dreams were for the child and also heard what her dreams and desires were for her son. We showed pictures of our family and things we enjoyed doing together, so she could get a true sense of who we are. Most of all just relax. Believe me everyone is nervous during the first meeting and your agency counselor should be prepared for the meeting and making it comfortable for everyone.