[nikkianni]

Hi all. I posted this on another forum but since this one gets the most traffic, I thought I'd put it here too.

Can anyone tell me how having bio and adopted kids has affected your family if at all?
DH and I adopted last year but due to DD's health issues and the related cost, we may try to have a bio child next time around. I'd love to hear from folks who have done both.

[dawnrenee58]

I would love to talk more about this but I am working right now. I will come back later and let you know why it is FANTASTIC! And challenging.

[jigger]

I have one of each. The most challenging thing was that since we adopted my son when he was 5 and my daughter was 6, there was a pretty rough adjustment period for her that I think would have been less severe if he had been a baby. We are very open about my son's adoption in our house so he understands things like why there aren't as many pics of him, etc.

Overall it has worked out beautifully. . .

[2manyks]

we have both and they are all mixed inbetween. we adopted out of birth order because of some special circumstances. the adjustment was hard for the older child adoptions, but it is working out. the newborns were all the same. it doesnt matter to the children where the baby came from - whether adopted or born - because they just come home from the hospital all the same.

[feelingreyt]

We have 2 bio and one adopted. Our bio's have accepted him with no real problems.
Our situation is somewhat different than most because we were actually not looking to adopt. A relative of dh's got into trouble and needed a place for her 4 day old baby to go. They called us and we picked him up the next day. No waiting, not time to adjust, nothing. After about 6 weeks she asked us to adopt. Our son is 7 months old now, the adoption is final and the kids are well adjusted. My youngest, 3 yrs old, probably had a harder adjustment, he was no longer the baby of the family, but boy does he love his baby brother and things are going really really well.
The biofamily tends to make our life more complicated than we like, but that is a WHOLE different story!

[mommy3]

We have one bio dd and our ds and baby dd via open adoption. For us, our children all know very well that due to miscarriages, we'd never have had our family of three w/o adoption. My oldest dd was with us every step of the way through our miscarriage and eventual decision to adopt and she wanted a brother or sister very very much. Our ds was 6 when we decided to adopt again, so he also was in on all of the decision making, etc. Although we had our bio dd first, unlike what may turn out for you, our younger children understand that I am also our oldest dd's "birthmother", as well as her mommy. They are learning about how each of them have different, yet beautiful, birth stories. We've found if we share their stories early and often, they simply have (so far) seen it all as normal and natural. We love it because the formation of our family is quite a series of events! susan

[yehudit]

Hello,
This is my first message on these boards, but your question caught my eye because we have a 4-year old bio child and are looking to adopt our second. Since looking into this, it seems a lot more common than I thought. According to the information I've seen, it doesn't have to be a big deal as long as you are open and honest with everyone and express lots of love to all. Obviously, this is not first hand info, just what I've heard from others.
Good luck,

[jjlutefisk]

We have two bios who are 12 and 7. Our dd is just over a year and they are absolutely over the moon in love with her. We're in the midst of our homestudy update and they are so excited about another baby. They are old enough to be involved with her and help with her. Adopting is the best decision we've ever made.

[chrisandaaron]

We have one of each. They are 3 months apart in age and we adopted #2 when he was just 3 weeks old. The best thing about it is that other people see how much each of the boys are "ours." It is easy to see that they are both our babies in the same way. Plus the boys are really close to each other. I was talking to our sitter and mentioned how different the boys look. She said, "Yeah, but if you just watch them for a few minutes it is obvious that they are brothers." She is right!

Good luck!

[ericamhc]

We are just heading down that process and are excited to do so. In our case our youngest, 1 year old, is our bio son, and we are adopting my 2 year old relative. They get along great. It has been, and I am sure will continue to be, a wonderful experience for all of us.

[startedover]

I too have kind of a different situation as my bio's are 18 and 13 and very much ALL FOR a new baby in the house. That was 14 months ago and they think they are the PARENTS to her. They are hoping we do it again.

[skilack]

Hi Nikki~
My hubby and I talk about this all the time. We can't notice a difference at all. I sometimes forget I didn't give birth to him.

We have 3 bio kids (two teenagers and one almost teenager) and are in the process of adopting our little guy. I was so nervous when we brought the baby home. The kids were old enough to know I didn't give birth to him. They have treated the little guy like their brother from day one. Two weeks ago at school my 13 year old was showing a photo of him to a friend and the kid said I didn't know you had a brother. My daughter said well he's my foster brother(we are doing foster to adopt) untill his adoption is final. The boy turned to her and said then he's not really your brother. My daughter yelled at the kid and told him "we don't need a piece of paper to tell us he's my brother". Are they bonded? Oh Yea!!! LOL.

The only thing that was different for us was having a baby again after 11 years. The funny thing is the little guy looks just like us. I never counted on that.

If you have any more questions feel free to ask or pm me.

How is your little girl doing? I was thinking about you guys the other day.