[Stormster]

OK now this is going to sound a bit odd to be complaining about but DS is almost 7 months and not only does he still not have any stranger anxiety, he LOVES being with new groups of adults. After almost every outing people ask us if they can watch him some time...when I watch him with other people he seems to not really mind who it is!? And last night a friend who hadn't met him yet was feeding him and he was moving her hair out of her face which I thought was MY THING. And I was kind of jealous! Then he was passed around like a parcel and he was just so happy and fine and I'm like ok I'll just leave now....

And on days when we are stuck in the house for any length of time he gets squirmy which I guess means he is a baby who needs stimulation....so that's ok but I just don't feel like he 'gets' that I'm his mother! I feel like he kind of just is everyone's baby! So now i'm having bonding issues again.

I'm kind of hoping that because I'm with him 24/7 and he's always been such an on demand baby, I never let him cry until recently...maybe his needs are so met that he doesnt' feel the need to differentiate????

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Is it too early for me to worry or should I just not worry at all???? I would love to hear from some experienced moms.

Thanks.

[pwheatle]

On average babies don't really experience stranger anxiety until anywhere from nine months on. After that point they get far more specific on who they want. My baby is also the life of the party and especially loves my sister but when she really wants something or has had enough it is me she wants. Enjoy it now because when it is all you 24 hrs a day you will be reminising on the good ole days when he liked everyone else!
Tricia

[bajj]

My youngest son never experienced stranger anxiety. He was just very much a people person. Now, if he's hurt or sick, no one but I will do, but otherwise, he's happy with almost anyone. It can be quite scary!

[Lilly's Mommy]

Lilly also never showed signs of stranger anxiety. Some of that was probably just her nature, but I also made sure to let lots of people hold her when she was small. Not sure how much, if any, that had to do with it, but I kind of think she picked up on my confidence and excitement about other people. Again, i could be totally fooling myself there!

Anyway, I too kind of wanted her to show a preference for me and felt like maybe she wasn't bonded to me. Not the case. As a toddler it's now very obvious that she loves her mama, which does my heart good!

[HBV]

H was the same---no issues at all about other people until he was about 14 mo. old, though he wanted me if he was tired or sick. Even now, at 28 months, he's a pretty happy, "jump right in" little guy.

It is too early to be concerned about stranger anxiety (or lack thereof) and it may be just his personality to be happy and social.

I think you are doubting your good mothering skills too much!

[anivan]

I had one of those kids too, and now at 11 months she is ALL about Mommy. Give it time....

[loveajax]

I used to refer to DD as the "community baby." She was so adorable that literally when we went out, we had times where she was passed around restaurants and sat at other people's tables, etc. She loved the attention!

She never went thru that stranger anxiety thing, and as others have said, really only seems to "want mama" when she is sick or sad about something. though she has had some "clingy" periods (and when you hit those, you wish for the days they willingly go to strangers!).

Don't doubt yourself or your son's love for you! You are doing a great job, Karen

[bajj]

I have to agree with loveajax here. Your son loves you. He is obviously very secure or else he wouldn't be so happy going to everyone. If he was not able to bond with you, he wouldn't be bonding at all, I don't think.

[Stormster]

Thanks everyone. That's so funny, "community baby" because we call E the "love the one your with" baby...you know that song...

A beautiful, healthy and socially well adjusted child...hmmm what was I complaining about????

[chrisandaaron]

I agree with everyone else. Both my boys were like that and they are still very outgoing at 2yrs. Enjoy it. Lots of my friends are jealous because my kids are so good about playing with others and they love to spend the night at other people's houses

[startedover]

I justed wanted you to know I felt just like you. Having to bio (breastfeed) babies I didn't know how to handle this "new" social butterfly. She is now almost 14 months and Over the past 4 months I have notice that although she loves everyone she eventually makes eye contact with me and wants me back. I actually started looking her in the eye when someone else held her because the ligth bulbe seemed to go off and she would be like 'oh there you are, I want you back". But still it is hard to be walking through wal mart and her just randomly reach for strangers. I counted one Sunday at church and over 25 people held her. BUT for the first time yesterday a man bumped into her and she feel and when he stood her back up she came open armed to me. I WAS SO SATISFIED. How horrible is that. In the past she would have turned around and gave them a look like "well don't you want to hold me too" and reach for them. Envoy, but make eyecontact as he is getting older when others hold him. He will start reaching back for you.

[Stormster]

you know E's bio dad is a huge social butterfly, drives his birthmother CRAZY. He literally brings strangers home for dinner.

Maybe he's inherited some of that!

[redbonec]

At DD's 12 month doctor appt., I expressed concern that she had no separation anxiety--she never cared if I left the room, she would go to others no problem. I was worried that she was not attached to me!

Then came 13 months and it started some, and by 14 months and up to the present DD definitely has separation anxiety.

But, like other posters said, some babies don't really go through it, and are usually happy with others.

[mom2samuel]

My ds was about 4 1/2 months old when we picked him up in Guatemala. From that point on, he was constantly passed around and loved it! We have always joked that he would even go to an ax murderer still holding the bloody axe. At times, that has made me scared (him NOT having any stranger anxiety); however, I really don't think I'd change a thing. It's made it easier on us when we've needed a break, which is completely different now with our second son. who is definately mommy's boy!

By the way, my older ds is 6, and is still Mr. Social Butterfly. Two summers ago he won a "little Mister" contest at the county fair, even though he was the youngest contestant. It's just who he was meant to be and I just go with the flow. He loves me, I'm still his momma...now if I could just get his brother off my lap!! LOL

Michelle

[EZ2Luv]

Fret not, you just have a social baby right now. I say right now cause I was exactly the same way. Then the minute I was 13 months old, my amom couldn't even go potty without me. Enjoy it while you can. My amom never realized that I would very have such separation anxiety until the day (at 13 months old) she had to run an errand and asked her sister to baby sit. I think she was gone maybe 20 minutes to come home to her sister sitting on the floor with me, both crying our eyes out. I was inconsolable reducing my aunt to tears.

EZ