[kstaley]

My husband and I have just been matched with a child. After telling family and friends, this has been said to me several times: You know what's going to happen next. You'll get pregnant.

This comment REALLY irks me. I've been trying to think of a good, polite comeback but I can't think of any. Any ideas? Has this been said to anyone else?

[TxMom65]

People said that to me a lot. I never had a good comeback, other than a look of distaste and anger.

[mommy3]

I heard this so many times I wanted to scream. I heard it enough that I had time to plan a come-back. I learned to say, "You know, that's not what we're hoping for anymore. You know all we went through trying to get pregnant and then miscarrying. Instead, I'd like to ask you to help us think good thoughts about our upcoming adoption. We'd love your support and best wishes." Actually, some version of that worked sufficiently that people would usually get quiet and then say, "Sure." Best of luck with your match, susan

[redbonec]

It probably won't be the last time you hear it. Sometimes I just say, "Then we'll be happy about that too--another child is what we want!" Recently I added that we would be happy to adopt or be pregnant, either way, they are both wonderful experiences, but one way is not better than the other to welcome a child into the family.

[mamatobe2008]

These are all good suggestions. I heard this remark too many times since telling folks we're adopting. I smile and stand mute. Really, what can you say? It's just ignorance. Though it's a good practice for each one to teach one!

[loveajax]

Yes, it's an obnoxious question. I have never had a good answer. I do know that I saw a statistic that said that five percent of women who adopt become pregnant afterwards. Of course, everyone I know knows someone in that "five percent" (my IVF nurse was one!) and that's what seems to be the "norm."

Good luck with your match!!

[teendoc]

Everyone else here was a lot nicer than I was when I got that comment. My fast answer would be, "yeah, and then pigs will fly out of my rear end spraying pixie dust across the land."

[sdiedre]

Teendoc- ROFLMAO

[Momtonick]

I get that a lot also and we aren't even matched yet!
I usually say "While we've all heard of that rare situation happening, the truth is there are tens of thousands of untold stories that do not end up like that."
Congrats on your match!!!

[devildogwife]

Oh yes, I've heard it. I just say, I really hope not!

[crick]

My usual reply is "Then we'll have 5 children to love" (we have 4) because as others have said, it will not be the last time you hear this. I've been a mom for 5 1/2 years now and I STILL get the "I bet you'll get pregnant one of these days!"

Other replies I've used...

"And you'll probably get pregant at the same time! Ohh! I can't wait for our kids to grow up together and maybe we can get matching outfits for them!" especially to people who I know are done having children.

"I doubt it, because you know I have that closed fallopian tube, and with a million sperm they still have to decide which tube to travel up to and then there's that cervix issue I have. Keep continuing on with as many details as you can, the more medical terms you use the better! They don't even need to be your actual details.
I promise you they won't say it again In fact, they'll just either change the subject or even walk away. If they walk away, follow them and keep talking.

[tobyandcoco]

I also get that, not only in reference to adoption, but I'm newly married so people always want to know if I'm pregnant yet. The best part is-I've had a total hysterectomy. When people say that, I act genuinely scared at thier comment and act as if I hadn't thought of that possibility before, "Oh, no, I hope that doesn't happen!" They are so confused about my reaction that they usually shut up, which is the exact result I was hoping for!

[shan76]

I say, "We're not trying." That is usually followed up with the sympathetic, "Oh, you can't have children?" I follow up with, "I don't know, I've never tried." If I'm feeling really sassy, I'll say, "Yes I can, I have D."

The "I've never tried." occasionally backfires, and I get the exceptionally annoying, "You don't want your own kids?" At which point I jump on my soap box on one of two topics: 1. D is my son. 2. I have chosen to love and be a mother to a child who needs me. If your heart is not big enough to understand that mine is a special kind of family, then I don't think we have anything to talk about.

[Saya]

Originally Posted by devildogwife

Oh yes, I've heard it. I just say, I really hope not!

Yeah, that's what I always say (and it's the truth), and people look at me funny . . .

[danhanan]

I think I would just have to be my smoart-mouthed self and come back with sarcasm. Something like, "no kidding!!!!! adoption cures fertility?!!! Good to know".