[Hollygirl]

My babies will be a year old next month. They are really getting to that fun stage and they have started to really pay attention when we are talking to them. DH and I have always openly talked about adoption. We did this before the babies came into our lives and we certainly do it a lot now. We talk about the day we got THE call, we talk about the day we met their b-mom, we talk about her. The thing is that these are just conversations that DH and I are having while the boys are in the room. I seriously doubt that at this young age, they are absorbing any of this. I certainly want one of their earliest memories to be knowledge of how we became a family. I just don't know how to make this happen. Help please! What did you guys do to let your kiddos know. Did you tell them the story of their adoption just like you would a bedtime story? I just need some advice/ideas.TIA

[loveajax]

Hollygirl, to be honest, DD is 2 years, 8 months and we have shown her her birth book, talked about when we became a family, etc. I think I can say with pretty good confidence, she will NOT remember these exact conversations!

My DH is an adult adoptee and he says he never remembers being "told" he was adopted...he just always knew. He said that he really appreciated that (there being no "aha"! moment) so I think what you are doing with the boys now is perfect.

Good luck!

[ManyTimesBlessed]

It sounds like you are off to a great start! They say it's best to start talking about it even before your kids understand so that they won't ever remember NOT knowing they are adopted. As for how to tell the story, we do it kind of like a bedtime story I guess. I often tell my kids "I'm so happy you're here" or "I'm so glad God gave you to me." Sometimes I'll continue the story by adding "I wanted a child so much and I prayed and prayed that God would send us a child. There was a mama in (insert birth country here) who loved her baby very much, but she could not take care of him so she was looking for a safe place for her child to be. That baby was you!" and then I continue to tell the story about how we found out about our child, how we waited for them, how we traveled to get them, how happy we were when we met them, etc.

Often I tell the story in pieces rather than the whole thing at once because my kids have really short attention spans. If some aspect of adoption comes up in daily conversation (or in something that happens since my kids don't know how to say "I want to talk about my adoption) then I will talk about it for a while. For example, my five year old often talks about Liberia and when that comes up we'll talk about his birth mom and how she probably misses him and feels sad sometimes because he is not there, but that she is also happy that he came to America where he has a family who loves him and has enough food to eat and can go to school.

We talk about it in some form almost every day, but not in a "here is your adoption story" more just "I'm happy you're with me" or "I prayed that you would come home" that type of thing. We go into deeper conversations when the kids seem to want to talk about it or if I realize we haven't done that in a while. Often I can tell I'm just talking over their heads, but I think it is good for me too since there are parts of their stories that are harder for me to talk about. It's good practice to go ahead and say everything so that I'm ready when they really are listening.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

I think it is something that just comes naturally over time as they are able to comprehend and ask questions. If the word "adoption" is always part of their lives it will never really need a sit down explaination...like the birds and bees. Someone best described it by replying to the question "When did you learn you were adopted?" by saying "I just always knew...when did YOU "learn" you were a boy/girl?"

[escottswanson]

the only people that I know who have /edit 'significant' issues with adoption are the ones that found out later on... for those of us that "always knew" it was never really a big deal. I don't remember ever really thinking about it much growing up... it wasn't even until I left home that I became curious and then when we had our 2 kids I became more serious about searching out my genetic roots.

But I really appreciate my Mom & Dad's honestly and I agree with above posters that you should continue with the dialogue you are currently having.