[Teekay74]

I'm curious as to what you talk about with your ebirthmoms. Do you talk about the baby a lot? Are you worried about seeming to excited, or not excited enough? I'm having that problem!
We talk about everything-- from the baby, to children we both have at home. We have been matched awhile now, and I'm so scared I will say something that she decides she doesn't like.
When we talk about the baby, I don't want to sound to attatched. Does that make sense?
Ex. we have talked about names, and nursery decor. She keeps asking what we decided, and if the room is done yet. It's not, it's hardly even started. I feel like that bothers her. But- I could just be being paranoid.
She's great, and I have great feelings about this whole thing. But because of past experiences, I tend to freak out on occasion.

[kelceesmom]

We didn't have a real long match about 3 1/2 months before baby was born. I was always trying to read something into our conversations. Good or bad. I finally had to step back and say to myself what will be will be.

I just talked about everything from child on up to adulthood. Her/my dislikes/likes. Her expectations/my expectations. I even asked her a few times if she was sure about her decision.

You know your ebmom the best so you should go with your gut feelings. I tried to ask questions that I could tell my baby about later in life when she is old enough.

Favorite color, favorite food, I asked about some medical history if she seemed receptive at that phone conversation.

Good luck in your journey.

[bajj]

Well, my oldest son's First Mom and I could only communicate through an interpreter, so, since she wasn't always with us, we usually did a lot of smiling and trying to get each other to understand what the other one meant.

With my youngest son, I have never met his First Mom.

I'd say try your best to relax and be yourself.

I know it is very emotional and it is so easy to just say relax and be yourself, but do try to!

[devildogwife]

We only had a 10 week wait until Cameron was born. After we flew home to meet his biomom, we talked on the phone once a week. It was nerve wracking! We talked about some of the people and things we had in common, about her family and other children, about our life in the military. We never really spoke of anything very deep. We were all (still are!) pretty nervous. Yes, I worried about saying something dumb and sounding too excited/not excited enough. I just remembered the advice that someone on the boards gave: focus on her, not just the baby. I freaked out on many occasions too, but things seem to have worked out. Also, I'd always right down little personal things she shared (like fav foods, childhood stories) so I could put them in the babies lifebook, and have things to tell him when he's older.

[Teekay74]

Thanks guys- It's great knowing I'm not alone.
I am myself- I know that it is what it is. But- it makes me feel much better knowing that I'm not the only one who freaks out from time to time, and reads into every conversation.
Did you do the nursery ahead time?

[bajj]

Tina, for me, once I decided to do the nursery I did it. I wasn't "matched" at the time, but I decided to go ahead and fix it up. I had my sil come stay with us for a month and she painted Precious Moment like figurines on my nursery walls. While she was here, we got a call that an emom wanted to meet us. We were chosen and he was born 2 1/2 months later, but was supposedly due 1 month later. He came 6 weeks after his first due date, but once he came, he was big, healthy, and on the go already!

We didn't have phone conversations because we did have to have an interpreter to help us out. I did go to the doctor appointments that she wanted me at. We usually had a SW or someone to interpret while we were there and we got to know each other.

We really bonded after ds was born. The hospital staff did not treat her very nicely and she did not have any family to come and support her. I was very displeased with that particular hopsital!

I hope all goes well for you!

[NicNic]

I know what you mean about being nervous while talking on the phone. Every person is different though and you have to keep that in mind. Kacy's bmom wanted to know that we were excited. I think that she needed to know that we couldn't wait to have her home. If it were me, I'd probably feel the same way. If I were going to entrust my child to someone, I'd want them to be thrilled.

As for the bedroom, with Keelie, I had the room done before we were matched. It actually helped me prepare mentally...anytime I was down because it was taking forever (22 months before we got the call) I would go in the baby's room and a sense of "ahhh" would go through me...like it WILL happen. It did happen too. We got the call from the hosptial with Keelie and I was so glad to have that room ready to go so that I could spend my time with my new daughter.

[devildogwife]

We really couldn't decorate a nursery per se, because we lived on base. We had bought almost everything before we matched, just as we came across it. We decided we'd either do it all before hand, or after the baby came home with us.

[dragonfly1234]

We only had one phone call conversation with our sons firstmom and it was very uncomfortable. You wanted to say the right thing and not say the wrong thing.

We met her the next day at the hospital and spent 6 hours with her and just got to know her. We talked about her children, their names, ages, are they in sports, favorite food, school, we talked about her going back to school, and so many other things. It was great to know so much about her in such a short time.