[September.Mom]

My daughter's B-Mom is pregnant again. We received an e-mail today from the B-Gma mentioning how this baby will be my daughter's half-brother or half-sister.

I know this is "technically" true, but I don't know how comfortable I am with this child being called her "half-sibling."

Is anyone else in this situation? What do you or your adopted child call their B-Mom's other children?

Lynn

[joelynn]

Bio or birth brother and sister.

[BrandyHagz]

My children call each other brother and sister - one I placed and one I parented.

[gigigeorge]

My oldest son has 3 sisters and 1 brother that his mother is parenting, we just call them his brother and sister. I think in this day and age especially of so many divorced and blended families that this isnt nearly as confusing as it might seem

I am the oldest of 7, only 2 of us have the same mother and father, 3 were raised by my dad and his stepmom (children of their marriage) and 4 were raised by my mom (results of her relationships) yet we were all brothers and sisters...

hope that helps

gina.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Brother and sister.

[lovemy2boys]

Joelynn, Brandi, gigi & Schmenna: Now, is this how you refer to the kids when you are speaking OF them, or speaking TO them?

I ask because my oldest son is turning six in a few weeks, and each of his bparents has a child. Although we have only just begun communicating with his bfather, he we have an open adoption with his bmom. He knows she was his first mom, but I don't really think it resonates with him. An example is that he was showing my mom a gift that his bmom gave him, and he said, "you know, Grandma - its from "D" - my babysitter. The one we went to the park with" (he's never had a babysitter, so it's not like he is "comparing" her to an actual babysitter. I casually mentioned it the next day, and without making a big deal about it gently made sure to reiterate that D was his bmom and not a babysitter). Anyway, he met his bbrother, but refers to him by his name, or "D's" baby.

So I guess my question, which is an extension of September.Mom's, is do we "tell" our son that the baby is his biobrother, or let that come naturally as he gets older and has a better understanding? We refer to "D" as his bmom and have always been open with our son, but it's really hard to tell how he's processing this info...

Thanks for any and all advise (we certainly need it...lol).

[SchmennaLeigh]

The Munchkin calls Nicholas her brother. She is not even four yet. She isn't confused that he lives with us and that she has four brothers that live with her as well. She just accepts that she has a bunch of brothers. Nick still refers to her as her given name but we reinforce sister. He's a bit young to get brother/sister/etc.

[joskids]

I'm comfortable calling my childrens' other siblings, brothers and sisters so that's what we call them. Generaly "other brothers/sisters". No need to hide it. They're all very interested in other siblings.

[DebCsMom]

Each of our 3 adopted children have birth siblings. They refer to them as brothers & sisters. Our children are 7, 5 & 4. They are not confused at all that they live somewhere else.

A couple of funny stories about this:

A couple weeks ago I was doing some learning games with our 4 year old son. We went over his address, phone number, my Name, daddy's name etc. When I got to the question of what are your sister's names he said, " (big sigh), I have too many...DIamond, Deja, CHelsea, Cylie & Cirrah. Then there is Amariah & Kiarrah" LOL The first 2 are his birth sisters, the last 2 are the 7 year old & 5 year olds birth sisters!! LOL When I asked him to name his brothers, he did the same, name all of the birth siblings, even the other 2 adopted DD birth siblings! LOL

We have very open adoptions. We have frequent visits with their birth Mothers & siblings. Some of them spend time with us. One day, the 3 of them were playing house in the living room. All of the sudden I here something that went similar to this...Caleb the 4 year old says, "Oh yea, well when MY baby brother sleeps over you can't play with him." Cylie says, "Well when my baby sister AND my brothers come, you can't play with them!" Now Cirrah, the 5 year old chimes in & says, "When my baby is born, NO ONE GETS TO TOUCH HER!" lol Caleb then says something like, "I have MORE brothers & sisters then YOU!" LOL

TOO FUNNY!!!!!

Deb

[BrandyHagz]

For me, it's to and about.

But I'm also one of those odd first mom's whose child calls her mom too - so its just natural for me to refer to her as my daughter

[akcskye]

My case is similar, but different.

My oldest sister was 19 when I was born, and already had a 1 year old child and was "grown up and married and out of the house".

So, even though we've never lived with her, she's still our sister (and technically, she IS a half sister, but we've never called us that except in explaining technicalities).

So, I would think that would apply here as well...brother or sister.

[Shadowfaerie]

We call them his sister and brother.

[Jenn4615]

my DD has three full birth siblings.... she is two years old... when she sees pictures of them, she calls them her brothers and sisters. We also refer to them as her brothers and sisters... After all, they absolutly are!!

[snaps]

Our DD isn't quite 2 yet and so she really doesn't understand that she has a biological brother that her birthmom is parenting. Since we are not in contact with her birthmom (but we are in contact with some of the family via e-mails and letters) we will probably refer to him as her bio brother. We are also in the process of adoption #2 and for now would not want her to get confused about brothers or sisters that live with her or those that don't. This may change and i am considering how it is best to handle all of this.

[belleinblue1978]

I hope that when I get brave enough to have another child that my son's parents will acknowledge that said child is his sibling. My parents have always acknowledge my first siblings as just brothers and a sister. That is what they are to me after all.

Just because adopted people have relationships with their first families doesn't make our adopted familes any less important. In fact my adoptive family has become more important to me after meeting my first family.