[thanksgivingmom]

I have noticed that several threads bring up Myspace accounts and had a few questions on this issue.

As an adoptive parent what do you think about your child’s birthparents having a Myspace account? What do you think is appropriate regarding your child’s representation (if anything)? What do you think is not appropriate?

As a birthparent, what do you think about your own Myspace page? How do you handle the issue of your bchild on your Myspace? What do you think you should be able to do?

I’ve just been thinking about this a lot recently….

[lonni]

If she asked me to be her myspace friend, then I would go there.
Otherwise, I have not looked.
Seems nosy to me. Maybe that is why I only have 3 myspace friends, probably including ol' TOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bajj]

I don't use myspace, so I have no clue if my boys' First moms do or not! I don't know how I would feel about them showing pics on there. I guess as long as there was no idenitfying info like first/last name then it wouldn't be much different than me sharing them on any other public site.

Good question, Tmom!

[Singlemom619]

I once came across my son's Bmom's page... It was... well she occassionally sells herself and that seemed to be what the page was promoting based on the pictures she had of herself and her body parts. Other than that and some friends she didn't have anything on the page - no writing or anything.

I have a page and it has pictures of my kids (foster and adopted) BUT recently I set all of the children's pictures to only be viewed by my friends.

[loveajax]

Tmom, I think you may have read that it is "odd" to me that DD's birth mom says that she has two daughters (when in fact she has 3, but of course she is not "open" about having had DD and/or placing her for adoption).

I am VERY nutso about not posting pictures of DD publicly (I may be paranoid, but in my line of work, I see too many creepy things) so I would not want DD"s birth mom posting pix of her on myspace (though talking about her, and not using identifying info would be fine, of course).

I do read DD"s birth mom's myspace page occasionally (because she has invited me too). Still feels weirdly like "spying" to me. Honestly, since we have never met DD's extended birth family, I do check out links to them as well (more spying!).

ETA: One other thing...I am really old! So I didn't grow up with the internet being part of my life. My DH and I are really, really private people too so I think I am "unnerved" a little bit by MySpace in general!!

[LibbyHawkins]

Clearly the story is the Birthmom's to tell. Pictures though, I think I would have issue with. It would have to depend on the relationship among all parties. Wish permission should be acceptable, although who knows how a child will feel in 10 years. Of course the same can be said for any parent posting pictures of their child by whatever means they came together.

[sarahbunny]

C told me she had a myspace page, with pictures of M on it. I asked if to send me a invite or make me a friend or whatever - i wanted to see what pics she was using. She didn't care at all.

Now...one of the pics is a card I made with M's first and last name on it (a collage of pics with the date and name) and i saw that was on there. I don't know if I feel comfortable with M's last name on there, but I am not sure how to bring it up. Or if I should - her page is private, so it isn't exactly open to everyone on the internet, you know?

[SchmennaLeigh]

D has already given me permission to post pictures, at will, of the Munchkin. (She does as well.) She said if I feel safe in any given place posting pictures of my parented children, she doesn't have a problem with the Munchkin's pic being there either. That said, I only have two pictures of the Munchkin on my MySpace and I simply use her name, not her title.

D is my #4 MySpace friend, though I should bump her to #2. LOL. She didn't have it for awhile so my husband's best friend and his wife are 2 & 3.

[loveajax]

Sarah, I understand the "private" thing on Myspace, but I still think i would be uncomfortable with that.....I don't know. I think I would bring it up and just ask her to somehow "photo shop" it to remove M's last name?

[thanksgivingmom]

Love, I wasn't meaning to single anyone out. It's been a common theme in a LOT of threads, yours was just one of the recent ones

Personally, I have a myspace. (Two really!) One Myspace I've had for a few years and it's for my general friends and family. The other is for those related to adoption. BOTH are set to PRIVATE (not just to view pictures, but to view anything on the page except my name and one photo, which has never been set to DD).

I guess since I don't have people in my everyday life that know about DD and her adoption, I don't have people to share her pics with. To talk about her with. Etc. So I have some pics up there. I literally have like 9 friends and they're all from here!

Is this bothersome to you? Should I have asked for permission from her Mom? (Even though getting a response from letters is near impossible right now.)

I also DID mark the "Proud Parent" box. I realize some people might think I haven't earned the right to do so. But it's the only place in the world people know I have a child.

[Leigh131313]

Well, i have very strong feelings on the matter.

First of all - I would never look for her on myspace or any other type of site like that. UNLESS she told me to check it out. There is something sneaky-ish to me about adoptive parents and birthparents who search on myspace without being upfront about it. Yes, I realize it's out there for everyone to see - and maybe this is my age showing - but I just don't feel it's right.

Now as for what she puts on her page (if she has one) I have no problem with her talking about M, but his full name, location and pictures should absolutely NOT be shown. If I ever found out she was posting such things, i would have to talk to her about it and insist they be removed.

[kelceesmom]

I think I would be ok with this as long as no personal info was on it. I don't have an open adoption right now (bparents reasons) so part of that might also depend on that.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

I do not agree with b-mom posting pics of Bear on myspace. In fact, the only reason I even FOUND her on there was because she had a pic I had e-mailed her of Bear as her icon/avatar/whatever you call it...and I thought...gosh, that looks familiar...and it was my son!

[Mom2Max]

We share pictures and emails all the time through myspace. I think it is perfectly fine as long as we are both comfortable with it. This is also a way for Ava's birthmother to share pictures of Ava with family who live far away. I think myspace is a fun way for me to keep in contact with Ava's birthmother. Our profile and hers are set to private, so I never worry about our privacy. Just wanted to add my 2 bits.
Laura

[loveajax]

Oh, defnitiely, Tmom (the proud parent thing).

The picture thing being private seems OK to me too (I mean, I send DD's birth mom pix and she is free to share them with anyone she wants). Even if it is private though, an a family may not want their last name even there (which you didn't obviously). Plus, I totally understand you wanting to share pix of your beautiful girl!