[KristineM]

Hello all. We have been in an open adoption now for about 3 1/2 years. In a few of the conversations we have had with our daughters birthmom before the adoption, she has stated that the way she was living her life before she got pregnant was not a good one and ultimately led to her getting pregnant. This consisted of partying a lot, drinking excessively and being very promiscious. She has said that she would never go back to that life style and that our daughter is her gardian angel that made her change. Our daughters birthmom has a myspace page and we will send messages back and forth on myspace every once in a while. Recently I have noticed that everything on her myspace page has to do with alcohol and partying. She has pictures of herself drinking and partying, one picture of her leaning over the toilet getting sick and mixed in are pictures of our daughter... Number one I am not happy that my daughters pictures are on her page where everything seems to revolve around alcohol and secondly, I am concerned about her and the fact that it appears that she is back to her "old ways". I know about a month and a half ago, she told me that she had a miscarriage she was supposed to get married and that fell apart and that she was going thru some rough times. She did not elaborate on any more than that.


What would you do in this situation? Would you talk with her? What would you say?? Or, would you just sit back and not say a thing?

[Leigh131313]

If nothing is effecting your conversations or visits etc - I wouldn't mention about the partying and such. It just doesn't seem like it would be your place - unless she opens up to you about it.

However, I would ask that she not post pics of your daughter on her myspace page.

[jigger]

So -- you bring up a good question. We have a closed adoption since my son was adopted through foster care but I keep tabs on his birth mother via MySpace. She has serious addiction issues and her page is full of sex, drugs, etc. Anyway, she had pics of my son posted on her page and it makes me nuts. . . . is there anything we can do to get them to take them off??

In your situation, I would tell her that I was worried about her and offer her support but don't let yourself get caught up in "rescuing" her. You are not her parent and ultimately she has to live her own life. I would also ask her to remove the pics of your daughter. Good luck!