[hopefulmom2be]

Has anyone had their adoption application denied due to an unhappy, somewhat abusive childhood, or anything that happened in your long ago past? My social worker is pretty upbeat that the things I encountered in my childhood and all the partying I did in my early 20's was not going to be a big deal. The director of the agency thinks otherwise and I have to submit all this documentation to them on how I handle stress and that there is no potential for substance abuse. I know they are just looking out for the best interests of the child and showing the other social workers that any and all issues have been addressed, but this seems a little ridiculous. I'm just really scared that our application will not be approved because of it. Any thoughts?

[Untbunny]

Hopeful...I believe we are "cut from the same cloth". DH and I are adopting through state DSS and have encountered the same hurdle. My childhood was not stellar. During the home study I was painfully (for me) honest about everything. We received approval to adopt in Feb 2007 and received a referral in May 2007. After meeting the children, the supervisor of the state agency called DH and informed him that there were "significant concerns" about our family. She refused to speak with us for 12 days. When we finally met we were told the concern was if I would have difficulty parenting a child with possible background of abuse. She even stated that the report from our first visit was flawless. *I endured physical, emotional, and sexual abuse at the hand of a parent* The DSS supervisor stated the only way she could reactive our home study approval was for me to have a complete series of psychological tests in addition to letters from my GP and counselor. Two weeks ago we had a follow up home study where the investigator was unaware of the agencies concerns. DH and I are proceeding with adoption plans.

I am terribly sorry you are experiencing difficulty. For the entire month of May I felt as if the agency was questioning my ability and sanity. The past month I have come to believe that this episode has made me a much better and stronger person. My advice to you is to remember that the agency is faced with life altering decisions each day. As such sometimes agency workers loose sight that they are literally standing between an adult's desire and adoption reality. Cooperation will go a long way in this matter. Provide the documentation requested and hold your head high knowing that you can tackle life's road blocks.

Best wishes to you!

[hopefulmom2be]

Thanks for your reply. The director said I might have to take a psych exam, but since I already had one as part of my current job, they accepted a letter from my employer regarding the issues they were concerned with. I hope what I have submitted will be enough. My concern is that I never received therapy for anything, but have expressed a willingness to go with a child if need be. We'll see how it turns out.