[KristineM]

The following post appears on the "Safe Haven Support for Birthmothers" board... I was just wondering what other adoptive parents might think about this... From my perspective, I understand that the woman may have been confused and thought that there was such a law in her state, but unfortunately there is not... She abandoned the baby when she could have just as easily made an adoption plan.


Last week on the news, there was a story about a baby that was born to a young (19ish) girl. The girl walked out of the hospital 11 hours after delivery, leaving the baby behind. The girl gave a false name, but through the security cameras in the parking lot, the "authorities" were able to identify her. There is no safe-haven law in Nebraska, so the police tracked her down and cited her for child abandonment. How messed up is this state?? She left the child in the hospital, the safest place for a newborn, and they charge her with a crime?? I just don't understand....
__________________
Amy

[Tigger2]

I think it is sad that this young woman is facing charges-Yes, she could have made an adoption plan, but for whatever reason she didn't. Bottom line is she made sure the baby was safe- she didn't abandon it in a waste dump as was the case recently in California. JMHO

[court5505]

I live in Nebraska and I think it's ridiculous that there is no safe-haven law here. I don't think it's easy for everyone to make an adoption plan for their baby. A lot of people don't even admit their pregnant until after the baby is born. I think women should be able to leave their babies someplace safe (hospital, police station, church, etc.) without facing charges. I think if there was a law like that in place, they wouldn't find as many babies in Dumpsters!

[KristineM]

I would totally agree that there needs to be a Safe Haven law in Nebraska. I'm originally from Omaha, and I just can't believe that they have not put this law into place yet... Nebraska and Alaska are the only two states that don't have it in place yet. Thank God that she did not discard the baby in a dumpster!!!!

[court5505]

I live in Omaha!

I did a little more reading on the subject and I guess I can see both sides. States that provide safe havens have not shown a decrease in the number of abandoned babies. Also, some people see it as an easy way out, as opposed to going through the work to make the adoption plan.

In any case, the girl is only going to get probation, so it doesn't really seem like they are considering it that severe of a crime.

[devildogwife]

Ok I'm shocked. DH and I are both from Omaha. Funny how we all meet on this thread.

I was shocked that NE didn't have a safe haven law. I couldn't believe we were one of two states that doesn't have one. It's pretty sad that her face was blasted all over the newspaper.

[Leigh131313]

Also, some people see it as an easy way out, as opposed to going through the work to make the adoption plan.

Wow... I very much doubt that leaving your child is an easy way out - under any circumstance. This line of thinking is just really bizarre to me.....She was clearly in CRISIS mode - she made sure the baby was safe. I don't think this was a case of her just being too lazy to "do the work".

I'm absolutely disgusted that she would be facing charges for this.

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by Leigh131313

I'm absolutely disgusted that she would be facing charges for this.

As am I. She left her baby in a safe place, yet she's being charged. I think I remember reading that they looked through the surveillance footage to figure out who she was? How sad.

[jmsa]

Wow, this is shocking. While there are a million things she "could have" done better, the fact is that she left her baby in one of the safest places possible - a hospital. That she is being punished for her decision is shameful.

Jenny

[MomwithFive]

Originally Posted by jmsa

Wow, this is shocking. While there are a million things she "could have" done better, the fact is that she left her baby in one of the safest places possible - a hospital. That she is being punished for her decision is shameful.

Jenny

I agree. What kind of message does this send to others in the same predicament? At least the baby is alive and safe.

[KristineM]

It is crazy that all of from Omaha met on this discussion... Where abouts in Omaha are you all from?

I wonder, will she now want her baby back or is she thinking that the best thing for the baby is to place him/her for adoption? Will the baby now be placed in the foster care system? It is a sad situation for all involved.

[KristineM]

I guess I have a thought. Why when adoption is so prevelant these days and so accepted, would you want to leave your baby in a "safe place" instead of chosing a family for your baby to grow up with, knowing and understanding that your baby will be well cared for. I fully understand that this is a choice that some women make instead of putting the baby in a trash bin and letting it die - thank God that they do have that option in the majority of the states. What are your thoughts on this?

I am not attacking anyone or nor do I want negative comments directed toward me - I am simply starting a discussion. We all have our own view points on subjects such as this.

[Leigh131313]

We do have a member here who used SafeHaven - you may wish to check out some of her threads, it may give you some insight in her particular case.



My thoughts on it.... I think it may have to do with the shame factor. They feel ashamed to call agencies - possibly a way to deny the situation they are in. Fear of being judged....

But a big thing for many may be lack of information. I doubt alot know about adoption - nothing more than what they see on TV anyway. They may not realize the choices they actually DO have when it comes to placing a child. They may not know about open/semi open adoptions...They may not know that they can pick the parents.


It's hard to say, and I bet every situation is different....butthose are my thoughts on it.

[court5505]

[quote=Leigh131313] I don't think this was a case of her just being too lazy to "do the work".
QUOTE]

I don't think they meant that it was laziness as opposed to easier emotionally. Obviously it would still be the hardest thing they've ever done, but chances are they are in denial. It would be a lot easier to be in denial if you left the baby in a safe place then if you made an adoption plan. Here is the link to the arguments. It's interesting that an adoption institute opposes the safe haven laws!

Another factor is the birth father. Where do his rights come in if the baby is abandoned at a hospital and he never knows about it.

I do NOT think that these women should be punished for leaving their children someplace safe. I'm just presenting the other side since this is a discussion!

JournalStar.com - Lincoln, Nebraska - News - Politics

[shy_bear]

It is horrible that she is being punished for leaving her child in a safe place. Baby A who we are hoping to adopt fell under the Safe Haven Law. His bmom went to the hospital delivered then left. We believe two months later she has left the state all together. She has given no info. other than he was a product of rape. I can not begin to imagine what she was going through. I thank God she did the right thing and left him in a safe place so he could be welcomed into our lives. I don't believe at all it was laziness or lack of info on her part what so ever. She was in denial. She hid the pregnancy from her family. These young women who decide to leave their baby's in a safe place should not be punished; they have their reasons.