[ModernDayBradyBunch]

I'm hoping all the aparents out there can help me out with a problem I'm having.

I'm a bmom. I have placed two sons for adoption. One was to family and with our other son, we placed with a big agency.

My DH and I found out we're pregnant again. No agency will match us at this point. (We're just starting our 2nd tri) so we're trying to figure out the whole "independent" adoption route. We've contacted every attorney we could find in our state and the neighboring state that said they handled adoptions. So far, they've all said that they handle adoptions where a match has already taken place.

We're looking for attorneys that have families waiting. (We don't know where else to look, but we think it makes sense to start here) Does this happen? If so, could you pm me the names & contact info for them? Also, any help or advice you could give on how we could find families wanting to go the independent route would be very helpful. We're hoping to find a family sooner than later, but if we can't by the time we're in our 3rd tri, we'll probably go back to the agency. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[BrandyHagz]

Um, with all the online profile listing sites, why not start there?

This way, you can view profiles without committing to one attorney, who may only have a hand full for you to chose from anyway.

[mommamarci]

Brandy took the words from my mouth. There is a site that has advertisements on here all the time. (Not sure if I can say the name or not.) You can search by state if you want someone close by.

With an independent adoption, I thought the expectant parents and adoptive parents found each other, then went to an attorney for the legal stuff. If you know anyone who has adopted, ask them. They might know people waiting to adopt they could connect you with. Good luck!

[sadiegirl]

Mods,

Isn't this about the time where a

"No soliticing this emom" post be appropriate?

Just sayin'

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by ModernDayBradyBunch

I'm hoping all the aparents out there can help me out with a problem I'm having.

I'm a bmom. I have placed two sons for adoption. One was to family and with our other son, we placed with a big agency. !

Have you checked with the families who have your other sons? One of them may be glad to have another sibling join the family.

[specialk4b]

Originally Posted by sadiegirl

Mods,

Isn't this about the time where a "No soliticing this emom" post be appropriate?

'nuff said. The forum rules state clearly - No solicitation of parents, ever!:

http://forums.adoption.com/rules.php

[naca]

I agree, perhaps asking one of the families that has your other 2 sons would be a good place to start. I know if the BPs of my daughter ever wanted to place again, I'd love to take that child as well.. If that doesn't work, I would start networking and asking other people that have adopted ect if they know anyone looking. Most of the time in an independent arrangement , the lawyer isn't brought in til closer to the end. Good luck!!

[Leigh131313]

Howdy! I know I've read your posts before, and if i remember correctly, it isn't an option to place this child with the same family as your previous children - right?


SO, as Brandy suggested - I would check out the online places. That way you can look at your leisure (day or night) and not have to feel committed to any agency or attorney before you are ready.


Good luck!!

[ModernDayBradyBunch]

The parents of my two bsons aren't options for this adoption. I didn't know how "safe" the online search would be, which is why I wanted to go directly to an attorney. And I'm not looking for solicitations on here, either. I like these forums, I respect the rules, and I simply hoped that I could be referred to some attornies that could help me out. If I knew other people personally from the adoption triad, I would start there, but unfortunately, I don't. Thanks for all your help, though, and to all those that pm-ed me! I appreciate it!

[BrandyHagz]

Many of them require that the clients be homestudy approved and working with a professional.

I know ParentProfiles.com does, which is one of our advertisers, whom I have worked closely with from time to time.

Most of the 'good' ones are not like myspace where anyone can join and build a profile (but some are...) - as I said, there are requirements that have to be met, so using them is just like going to an agency and viewing profiles in a book...

People use them for "additional exposure" to the exposure they're getting from their agencies.

[sadiegirl]

Originally Posted by ModernDayBradyBunch

The parents of my two bsons aren't options for this adoption. I didn't know how "safe" the online search would be, which is why I wanted to go directly to an attorney. And I'm not looking for solicitations on here, either. I like these forums, I respect the rules, and I simply hoped that I could be referred to some attornies that could help me out. If I knew other people personally from the adoption triad, I would start there, but unfortunately, I don't. Thanks for all your help, though, and to all those that pm-ed me! I appreciate it!

MDBB,

When I said "no soliciting this emom", I did not mean YOU were doing the soliciting.

What I meant was, in the past, when an emom has posted about her situation, some people actually asked if they could adopt the baby!

I was just trying a pre-emptive strike post, so that no one would hound you about adopting your baby. It HAS happened before.

Sorry if I offended.

[waiting4amiracle]

Mods,

DW and I are APs via private placement and we have our preliminary hearing this Friday so we're well on our way. Others have mentioned ParentProfiles.com as a resource and I can say we used the site and that's how our B-mom found and chose us. I agree with some others that you should consider checking that site. I'm happy to share our experiences thru the private placement route including the name of the attorney we used - just drop me a PM and I'm happy to share.

All the best... Rob

[ModernDayBradyBunch]

Sadie - I didn't take offense to your "no solicitation" comment. Actually, I wasn't responding to you specifically when I said I didn't want any. I was just speaking in general to whomever might get that idea that it wasn't what I wanted. I actually appreciated your concern on it.

As for ParentProfiles, I have looked at it. There are SO MANY profiles on there. How do you even begin to go through them??? Brandi - you said that they ALL have a homestudy and professional, right? What's the appropriate way to go about it? I noticed that most have phone numbers for themselves, phone numbers for an attorney/agency, and then email. If I did find a couple that I was interested in, which form of contact would be best?

Anyway, I'm going to attempt to reply to some of my pms now - everyone has been so great with advice, thanks!

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by ModernDayBradyBunch

As for ParentProfiles, I have looked at it. There are SO MANY profiles on there. How do you even begin to go through them??? Brandi - you said that they ALL have a homestudy and professional, right? What's the appropriate way to go about it? I noticed that most have phone numbers for themselves, phone numbers for an attorney/agency, and then email. If I did find a couple that I was interested in, which form of contact would be best?

Did you try networking locally? I have a friend who was trying to adopt. After a failed placement of a baby girl, she went to get her hair done and her stylist told her about another customer who was thinking about adoption. They met and a few days later my friend brought home a new son.

There are probably lots of people in your life who could help you find the best family for your little one. If you get your hair done, I'd mention the adoption plans to your stylist in case he/she knows someone trying to adopt. If you go to church, I'd mention it to the minister/priest. Get the word out. If you found a family locally, you would have a chance to spend time with them and get to know them before doing the placement.

But I would definately make sure that any family had an approved homestudy from a reputable agency before I would even meet with them. I would recommend against placing with a family who had a private homestudy done by an independent social worker. I know someone who was approved using an independent social worker-and this family would NEVER have been approved if a real homestudy was done.

[ModernDayBradyBunch]

Thanks so much for your advice, Kat! I'll try that approach and see if it works. If a couple has a homestudy, how do I find out if it's through someone reputable?