California

Leigh131313 · #1 08-14-2007, 11:28 AM

Gosh, don't we all face this some days?? Currently my three year old is upstairs screaming his head off because I - after asking him if he was done, and he said yes - threw his half eaten piece of watermelon in the garbage. He is mad at me for 2 reasons 1- that I threw it out and 2 - that I won't let him take it out of the garbage and eat it.

Right now, as opposed to strangling him...i am on the computer writing this post...

Other times, I call my friend and allow her to talk me off the ledge so to speak...

SO I was wondering....how do you deal with your kids when they are just so tired, and cranky and driving you INSANE??? What are your survival methods?

bajj · #2 08-14-2007, 11:31 AM

We will sometimes do a family time out. We all have to go to our room and have a cool off time until Mommy feels able to deal with it all!

I will allow the boys to look at books but they must stay in their room. I feel it is better than my exploding (which does happen sometimes, I think it does with all of us sometimes) and I can get my whits back and calm down and deal with the issue.

I understand the food thing. My youngest son does that. My oldest son used to cry when they cleared his plate at a resteraunt, even if he was done. Even if every scrap of food was gone.

Hang in there Leigh. Peep in on him next time he's asleep and your heart will just melt again!

mommamarci · #3 08-14-2007, 11:31 AM

My husband! If he is home, I hand Cameron to him and leave the room for a few minutes. If he is at work, I call him and hand the phone to Cameron. It works well for me. When I cannot reach him, I blog about it!

NJNative · #4 08-14-2007, 11:32 AM

They seem to have much worse tantrums than 2 yos. I think you have it covered. Ignoring it is what works. Pick child up, deposit him in his room and let him yell til he gets tired of it. Once you hear he's quiet, wait five minutes and go to the kid's room. Talk about what just happened, ask if he's ready to come out now.

Wait for the next tantrum.

Good luck!

Robin

mommy2jillian · #5 08-14-2007, 11:32 AM

Sounds like your 3 year old is like my 5 year old sometimes. I just walk off adn tell her that when she is ready to calm down adn NOT yell I will talk to her and I put her in the corner. I have tried it all time out, no toys and so forth...this si the only thing that gets her to chill out and gives me a break so that I don't strnagle her too.... Good luck sweetie and remember the day he came into your life and all the beaty surrounding it and it will help you too. Cindy

joskids · #6 08-14-2007, 11:46 AM

I just took 4 kids with me, ages 7, 8, 9 and 18 mos. to the store for groceries and school supplies. All of them talking at once about what they need but I was strong. The baby pulling the headband out of her head full of ringlets and taking her shoes off at least 10 times in the store. I kept those school supply lists in my hands and did not budge on any WANTED things. So my 7 year old who loses his mind occasionally and tries to argue with me, did so in the store. I started counting (to 3, not 10) in a very loud voice so as to embarass the h_ll out of him. Lady behind me smiling and giving me that "you go girl" look. I figure if I really lose it and slap his mouth in the store and someone calls Children's Services, they can quit their $20 an hour jobs, do 40 hours of training, get a foster care license, and get paid 85 cents an hour to parent him and see if they have any better ideas.

Kidding?? Maybe . . .

When I've had a bad day, I call a friend. Just talking about how their kids act just like mine makes it easier to deal with. And now I'm down to counting the # of days until school starts.

Best wishes, all of you. Parenting is DEFINITELY the hardest job I've ever done. And I've "re-upped" if that'll tell you anything. OK, so maybe it tells you I'm ready for the looney bin. So what??????

**kelceesmom** · #7 08-14-2007, 11:49 AM

For me change in scenery works well. Distraction to the outside is a huge help. One time Kelcee was screaming so loud I just started screaming back at her. She looked at me like aliens had taken be over! LOL I don't recommend this on a daily basis.

loveajax · #8 08-14-2007, 12:04 PM

Honestly, and this is silly, I usually start laughing (even if it is a fake laugh) to get DD to stop with her tantrums (she usually starts laughing too).

if she is being a real monster/I think she needs discipline, I have started to put her in her "naughty chair" (too much Nanny Jo on TV)

musemoon · #9 08-14-2007, 12:19 PM

I like the idea of family time out. And counting. I use counting to three a lot with Aria, especially when she has to make a choice, like we are leaving..."you can either walk or mommy will carry you." 1...2...3.. She sorta gets this concept at 18 months and it seems to be working. (I know I am still waiting for the terrible 2's)

But what helps me a lot is taking a breather. I actually take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. I stop everything and breath. I do it so much that Aria actually has started doing it as well, especially when she's scared of something. :-)

ValerieP · #10 08-14-2007, 12:20 PM

My two year old loves to take tantrums, too. I have found that either whispering to her (so she needs to be quiet to hear me) or ignoring work well. But, I have also found that I can help others in that situation... for example, when a child is fussy in a restaurant, I have played peek a boo with them so the parents could eat. Or at the zoo yesterday, a friends child had a melt down and I was able to divert the attention to the little pack of tic tacs in my pocket... Whatever works for you is best -- and remember that all children go through this stage and most adults understand.

blessedbybug · #11 08-14-2007, 12:34 PM

Ah Leigh... you live at my house don't you???? I've been on a real journey with Bug especially. I have a bit of a short fuse (a bit, lol!) and she is my epiphany. Looking at her face when I lose it, well, it's been a huge lesson in finding alternatives for us both. She gets hurt, I feel guilty... and on and on.

The one that works best for us it the "chill out chair" as opposed to time-out. She is learning when things escalate, she needs to be alone to calm down. And she isn't the only one with a chill-out chair. I have one too. And I tell her... "Momma needs this time to chill out..." Slowly she is learning to respect that.

And we do have time-out, but it is a consequence not a chance to cool down and make another choice BEFORE the consequence.

We work ALOT on choices too. I give her a couple of options that, no matter what she chooses, is fine by me. SHe gets to make her choice feeling in control, and I get my way, knowing I am in control. For us, it works... she is so high-spirited, independent and articulate that it works even at her age.

Hugs to Momma and M...

Bug-n-Bears-Mommy · #12 08-14-2007, 01:02 PM

I know this sounds bad...but Sprout TV...works every time. I can turn it on, they get transfixed, and I can step out of the room and not go to jail for child abuse!

luvmylittlegirls · #13 08-14-2007, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bug-n-Bears-Mommy

I know this sounds bad...but Sprout TV...works every time. I can turn it on, they get transfixed, and I can step out of the room and not go to jail for child abuse!

There's a reason my kids are in the living room watching a DVD right now ...

My 2 yo is going through the "no" phase:

Me: "Do you want a cookie?"
Her: "No."
Me: "OK" and I put it away.
Her: "I want a cookie!!!"
Me: "OK" hand her a cookie.
Her: "NO!!! No cookie!" (throws cookie on the ground)

and it just goes on and on.... aaahhh!

But, on the other hand, the other day while we were driving I looked back and she was tickling herself on the belly giggling and squealing, "TICKLE, TICKLE" and then (still giggling and tickling) started singing the first couple of lines of "I'm a Little Teapot." So CUTE.

loveajax · #14 08-14-2007, 01:20 PM

I should buy stock in Sprout!

I was one of those moms who swore DD would NEVER watch TV! Gasp! And, uh, yeah, Sprout is my savior!

bajj · #15 08-14-2007, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blessedbybug

Ah Leigh... you live at my house don't you???? I've been on a real journey with Bug especially. I have a bit of a short fuse (a bit, lol!) and she is my epiphany. Looking at her face when I lose it, well, it's been a huge lesson in finding alternatives for us both. She gets hurt, I feel guilty... and on and on.

The one that works best for us it the "chill out chair" as opposed to time-out. She is learning when things escalate, she needs to be alone to calm down. And she isn't the only one with a chill-out chair. I have one too. And I tell her... "Momma needs this time to chill out..." Slowly she is learning to respect that.

And we do have time-out, but it is a consequence not a chance to cool down and make another choice BEFORE the consequence.

We work ALOT on choices too. I give her a couple of options that, no matter what she chooses, is fine by me. SHe gets to make her choice feeling in control, and I get my way, knowing I am in control. For us, it works... she is so high-spirited, independent and articulate that it works even at her age.

Hugs to Momma and M...

I have found if I look in the mirror when I'm that angry, it haults me real quick. So, a look at my own face works for me!

I only do the family time out when I am about to lose control. The boys' time outs are consequences, and they do know the difference. If I say, "Mommy needs a time out, everyone to their rooms" they run and are very quiet until i say, "Ok, let's talk about this now."

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