[waiting07]

Our profile is being shown to an expectant mom who has reported a daily use of cigars and marijuana. She is due in a week.

She found out during her last pregnancy that she has sickle cell anemia. She does not have symtoms of this disease and therefore is not on any medications. None of her children (she has 5) have the disease.

Of course my husband and I are researching both these issues but would like to know if any of you have experience/knowledge on them. Thank you.

[pwheatle]

Does she actually have sickle cell anemia or sickle cell trait? That would be very different. The pot and the cigars would not cause me to not accept the situation. I suspect baby will come out healthy with no long term effects.
Tricia

[akcskye]

Pot and Cigars, normally, are "nothing" compared to other things that someone could be using/abusing...but I question her open-ness about pot, considering it is an illegal substance like other street drugs, too...it almost makes me wonder if she suspects the baby will be born drug exposed and try to blame it on pot and I don't know, but I'm not sure babies are born "drug exposed" when pot is the only street drug used.

As for the sickle cell...that is a tough call. From what I understand, there is the disease, and then the trait...and I *thought* (I, BTW, am by NO means an expert) that the sickle cell only occured when mom and dad both carried the gene to create the actual disease.

I wish you luck on all counts.

[jaenelle]

We'd have said no based on the marijuana. We weren't okay with ANY illegal drugs. Yuna's birthmom did smoke, and we accepted that.

I don't know anything about sickle cell... but I wanted to say good luck.

[waiting07]

::bump::

[2manyks]

what does the research say? we said no to all drugs & alcohol. we said yes to smoking. but i would do some research and find out the risk factors. if its some minor learning disabilities, i could deal with that. if it was something major - i just couldnt handle it.

[ChristieS]

My son's birthmom drank alcohol and smoked marijuana. We strongly suspected other drugs as well but there was no way for us to know for sure.

If she is admitting to marijuana smoking I would wonder what she is not admitting to...

My son was born with some problems, which we expected and were willing to deal with the unknowns. I don't think you can ever know for sure. Also, so much depends on which drug was used, and how much was used, during which stage of pregnancy, that it is nearly impossible to predict the outcome on the child.

That said, with a LOT of hard work our son just received his latest doctor's report (he is 5 now) where the doctor said he wished all his patients were doing as well as my son. I am sooooo pleased!

However - he does still have some difficulties. And it took working with him intensively on a daily basis for years to get him to this point. And I will continue working with him.

Prenatal drug exposure can produce anything from mild fine motor skill development to severe retardation, with most kids falling somewhere in the middle. Then there are children who seem not to experience any difficulties at all.

I know this does not answer your question like you would like. All I can tell you is that each prenatal environment is different and each child is different. For me, even with the sometimes extreme difficulties, it has definitely been worth it!

I wish you the very best in your adoption!

ChristieS

[Oliver1]

Is there any particular reason to doubt the mother's word that she only smokes pot and cigars?

I mean, I know some people who smoke pot and I know people who smoke cigars and I wouldn't ever for an instant believe they have this huge hardcore drug problem that they are hiding. A problem with abiding by the law, yes, but I don't think I'd suspect they are shooting heroin or snorting coke or meth-heads or anything.

It just bothers me a bit that there's doubt on the mother's word based on such limited info and the fact that if she wanted to be dishonest, she could have not said anything at all. Why the doubt?

[akcskye]

Absolutely.

Most people don't just fess up and say they're using illegal drugs unless they suspect they're going to get "caught".

And, statistics show over and over again, that even cigarette smoking CAN be the stepping stone to drug abuse...and if someone tries and uses pot...a lot of them go on to venture different drugs and different highs.

So yeah...someone says "I'm a hophead and smoke cigars daily"...I would definitely be suspect of something more.

Originally Posted by Oliver1

Is there any particular reason to doubt the mother's word that she only smokes pot and cigars?

I mean, I know some people who smoke pot and I know people who smoke cigars and I wouldn't ever for an instant believe they have this huge hardcore drug problem that they are hiding. A problem with abiding by the law, yes, but I don't think I'd suspect they are shooting heroin or snorting coke or meth-heads or anything.

It just bothers me a bit that there's doubt on the mother's word based on such limited info and the fact that if she wanted to be dishonest, she could have not said anything at all. Why the doubt?

[shortlittlemama]

Just another take on the expecting mom's intentions- maybe she wants the best for this child and feels she needs to be completely open, nothing more? Waiting 07, I think you might feel better about this if you called a pediatrician or another health care provider and got his/her professional opinion about the potential health of the baby. Good luck!

[akcskye]

My feelings are on my shirtsleeves tonight because I am having a rough time with a degenerating disc in my back, so bear with me, this is NOT directed at you personally even though I am using your post in the quote...

But, I am SO tired of anytime someone shows skepticism on this board, that they are attacked or questioned by others who try to explain away even the most un-caring, un-loving things in a "better light"...as if the skeptic's feelings are invalid.

She's a hophead...if she TRULY wants the best for this child, she should have stopped the pot and the cigars...no? I know PLENTY of expectant mothers who smoked who completely stopped as soon as they found out they were pregnant...and if pot is as "non-addictive" as it's users claim...then ceasing it's use should be a non-issue, right?

IMO, there is just nothing "positive" about a hophead and tobacco user continuing this behavior while pregnant...and yes, it does make someone suspect that there may be more...why else would someone be so stupid as to admit using a "harmless" illegal substance to an adoption agency who could actually turn them in to law enforcement, unless they suspect something else would show up?

Originally Posted by shortlittlemama

Just another take on the expecting mom's intentions- maybe she wants the best for this child and feels she needs to be completely open, nothing more? Waiting 07, I think you might feel better about this if you called a pediatrician or another health care provider and got his/her professional opinion about the potential health of the baby. Good luck!

[mom2samuel]

Our bmom smoked cigarettes and marijuana, both of which she admitted to on her paperwork. When our son was born at term, but only 4 lbs, 12 oz, the doctors feared other drugs. However, all of his screens came back only positive for the marijuana. Our bmom (whom we love and have great respect for) was completely honest with us. Our son is 7 months and is doing fantastic. He does suffer from asthma and acid reflux, both of which are hereditary, but no other problems.

Michelle

[hopetoadoptblogger]

I put together a health issues series on the Hoping to Adopt blog. I actually happened to cover both in one post because I sorted the health risks alphabetically:

Assessing Health Risks: Sickle Cell Anemia; Smoking

Take care,

- Faith

[bumblebeeskies]

Although I don't condone it, or use it myself, I know several people who smoke weed. None of them use any other drug. A lot of people just use it for their nerves. Also, yes people can stop using while pregnant. I have a friend who stopped during all 3 of her pregnancies. It probably depends on if they want to stop or not-I guess this emom didn't have her priorities straight.