[ThatDayinSeptember]

DH and I are pursuing a domestic adoption. So, we may be placed with an infant boy. Who makes the decision about circumcision? Will it be us or the Birthmother? Should this be something we discuss with our case worker prior to being matched?

[Isabo]

Originally Posted by ThatDayinSeptember

DH and I are pursuing a domestic adoption. So, we may be placed with an infant boy. Who makes the decision about circumcision? Will it be us or the Birthmother? Should this be something we discuss with our case worker prior to being matched?

The mother and father of the child you may adopt will be legally in charge of making all medical decisions up to the point that they sign papers terminating their parental rights. They will not be "birthparents" until they relinquish their rights; therefore they will still be in the position of making all decisions for their child until that time. The parents may decide to have their son circumcised. If you are concerned about your potential future son being circumcised, then I would suggest that you discuss this with your caseworker. They can then discuss the issue with any expectant mother and father that you are matched with.

Based upon the recommendation of my son's doctor, I made the decision to not have my son circumcised. I decided to allow the adoptive parents to make that decision, although my preference was to have him circumcised.

[DebCsMom]

With our son we made the decision together with his Birth Mom to have it done. Isabo is right, until the TPR papers are signed, the birth parents make all the medical decisions.

Talk to your agency about this & when you are matched talk to the PBMom about it as well. You can have it done at a later date, though.

Deb

[ThatDayinSeptember]

Thank you for the responses. I have so many questions for the caseworker!!

[mznia504]

With our son, we had it done when he was 3 weeks old, simply b/c of the stress of staying in a hotel room for a week after getting him from the hospital. We never spoke with the bmom about the circumcision, but I'm sure if we had, she would have agreed. If you are doing an open adoption and you feel comfortable, ask the birthmom if she would agree to have the hospital do it before the baby is discharged.

[Leigh131313]

Once the baby is "your's" it's up to you...but until then, it's up to the emom. Sooooo, if you have strong feelings on this, you might want to make sure you are all on the same page before birth

[gottahavehope]

We asked our son's birthmother if it would be okay to have it done at the hospital. She said it was totally up to us and told the hosptial she wanted it done. I would talk about it with the expectant mother if you get to the point where you are matched and comfortable, but if you are not comfortable..you can always have it done after the papers are signed and you have the rights to make medical decisions.
Good Luck!!!

[hopetoadoptblogger]

Our son's birthmother made the decision to circumcise. We would have chosen the same thing, but we were not consulted on this. The baby was her legal child when she made this choice, so she could circumcise him or not.

- Faith

[ModernDayBradyBunch]

I placed my son two months ago and his a-parents and I talked about it before the delivery and I let them choose (they chose to circumcise which is what I would have chosen, too).

[Kimmisue]

It was our son's bmother's decision, but she asked us what we wanted to do. We wanted him to be circumcised, and she agreed. This was something we discussed in the weeks before she was to deliver.

Good luck!
Kim

[inhisgrip]

The adoptive parents and I decided together, but I would have had him circumsized anyway. It is the p-bmoms decision until discharge (in my situation) and they have to clear all medical decisions thru her.

[Linny]

Perhaps your case may be like ours have been, though. Both situations were babies that were released right after birth----we never knew the birthparents---and they made no decision what to do pertaining to circumcision, period.

The caseworker made no decision, and it was totally up to us. It's a personal choice, of course; but our pediatrician advised not to have it done once several days had elapsed---however it was up to us in the end. If having a baby like some of our situations is a possibility, and this is an issue you feel very strongly about, I'd suggest you speak with your caseworker and even your pediatrician, previous to having any baby.

Sincerely,

Linny

[blessedbybug]

We waited until after the revoc period following his First Mom signing was up to make the decision. DS was circumcised at around 2 weeks old.