[DancinBear63]

Hey everyone,
I am beginning to feel like DH and I are the only ones who are slugging through all of the paperwork. We are still waiting for one of us to finish an autobiography and have the physical exam completed (let's just say it's not me- heehee). The rest of it is mostly done.

Does anyone else occasionally feel frustrated and invaded by this process? I just need to know that there are others out there right now going through the same thing.

[SamIAm2]

The homestudy paperwork and requirements were VERY time consuming (as well as mind consuming!) and draining at times. It felt like it would never be done! BUT, when you are finished and you turn it in you will feel sooooo good and a weight will be lifted for sure! Just keep chipping away at it and before you know it you'll be finished. One day at a time....

[mod]

Yes, it is a work out, and a major invasion of privacy to get it all done but in the end you'll forget all about it.....well, until your ready to do it again that is:=)
Hang in there!!!!!

[h2olawrence]

well, pretty much! we had our home visit 2 weeks ago, and we're just waiting now on the fingerprint check and the significant other's physical! it's torture waiting, but it's moving along and it feels great... hang in there!

i agree, it's discouraging to think of how much we have to go through in public to adopt, but it's the price we pay... it's the labor that fades to the background when we bring our baby home!

[Leigh131313]

No more invasive than a pelvic exam....HA!


but seriously - yes, it's very draining. You WILL get through it and honestly it is all worth it in the end.

[mommmmy]

Yep! We just sent in our paperwork for our update.

In our case we have children that also have to have physicals done, interviews and all that jazz. My teens are less than thrilled with that whole thing. They like to say things like - As if parents sit their kids down and say - ok we are thinking of trying to conceive a child...is that ok with you? But in adoption SWs will ask them their feelings about more children through adoption. They are really pretty good about it. And really I don't mind most of the invasive stuff...except the parts that involve the children. Also the parts that involve family and friends. (The kids like to say things about that too - people don't go around finding out if their family and friends are "ok" with them getting pregnant! LOL)

Of course there is also always the thing that happens where you think it's all taken care of and done and they just have to come up with something else somewhere to do.

Actually...I was a bit surprised at my frustration/angst about doing it again. I think it's just the reminder that other entities sortof take over your lives while in the adoption mode.

I did think it was a bit ridiculous to have to get new references from family and friends.

[SamIAm2]

Like mommmmy....I have 3 teenagers who had to do physicals, background checks, and answer question/write letters as well. Thankfully, they were happy to do it and are VERY good kids...but that still felt like the biggest invasion of my privacy.

[fastaff]

Oh I'm right there with ya'....we started ours the last day of April, I'm amazed at all the paperwork, but understand it too...I'm very organized and my husband is a prograstinator...so you can imagine the 'difficulty we are having!!! lol
Anyway...we are hoping to send everything in by end of month..(hopefully!!)

[Synesthesia]

I haven't done it yet, but I'm scared.
Will I really have to get family references?
I haven't even told them yet, mind you, I'm not starting the process for 6-12 months.

[mommmmy]

It depends on how the SW does things. We had to have 3 from family members and 3 from friends.

[jaenelle]

A year ago I was in your shoes, exactly. Waiting and waiting and WAITING to be done with the homestudy. Finally, in July, it was done.

It's pretty terrible, but you just have to remember it's a step toward your child. Gotta do the steps in order to get to the end!

[rk36]

Oh yeah! We are there too. We are waiting for our fingerprints to come back and to be scheduled for the first homestudy appointment.

We had to have the application and physicals done before we did PRIDE.

I feel like I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I feel like we are half way done though.


Rose

[DancinBear63]

Thanks for the morale boost everyone! We'll keep plugging along until each box is checked off. I would love to be able to be finished by the end of this month, but I think that might be a little bit too much pressure on DH. While he's great at leaving little love notes around, I know that the autobiography is really causing him tremendous stress.

One thing that I am planning to do is send a special 'thank you' card to each person who was asked to write a recommendation for us. This will serve 2 purposes- first, we want them to know that we really appreciate what they are doing for us, and second, in case they haven't yet written the letter, it may just inspire them to do so.

Thanks for the encouragement! Good luck to all of you!!

[mommmmy]

I'm rather pushy I guess. I told those that we asked to do references that they needed to be back in a week. And we asked more than the number required. I just knew if I didn't give them a deadline (and one that was pretty fast) it would drag out and end up not getting done by some.

For the update they were pretty fast about it. They already had the drill down by that point!

[mommmmy]

Hey just a thought....would it help if you helped dh with his bio by asking questions or having him dictate it to you instead of having him write it himself?

Worked for us.