[timni]

We are getting info on agencies in our area right now. One big name agency in particualr has a stipulation that if you have a child already that wasn't adopted through this particular agency you can only adopt an AA or special needs child. This seems a bit odd to me in general. Dh and I are already planning on adopting an AA child so we could proceed, but this put a wierd bad taste in my mouth. Is this normal or should the red flag I am feeling steer my heart?

Any opinions?

[Leigh131313]

Wow...so is that like their way of penalizing you for not using them the first time?? How sick. I'd be asking some very big questions about this policy.

[bromanchik]

I would be really leary of any agency with a policy like that. They certainly are not thinking in the best interests of the child. All eligible couples should be avaliable for expectant parents to choose from.

[gabesmom04]

i would go with your gut. that feeling is ther for a reason. we need to listen to that feeling more often.
that sounds just plain off the wall. why should they care how you buid your family?
michelle

[timni]

What is really strange is that this is one of the BIG agencies, w/ offices in different states and lots of advertising on this sight

I think i will just throw their paperwork in the trash.

[loveajax]

Elaine, this is really disturbing to me (and my DD is AA/cauc). What is the alleged "rationale" here? Gross. I 'm glad you are throwing the papers away!

[Vogi2002]

BIG red flag. Although a lot of those "big name" agencies leave a bad taste in my mouth period. Not to mention thier astronomical fees they charge and make people think are the "norm".

I had one agency tell me that because I couldn't afford 40,000$ for an adoption I should look into foster care (implying that I was too poor to adopt domestically and had no choice but go through foster...not that anything is wrong with foster care at all). I just replied "How about I just look into all the other many agencies who's fees are half that."

[mumofone]

I would have serious issues with that Agency. I am glad you are throwing the papers in the trash.

[JGarrick]

I would ask for clarification before doing anything rash. Maybe something was miscommunicated.

If not, then I'd say they aren't acting in the best interests of the birth mothers, the children, or the adoptive parents that are paying their fees.

[DianeS]

Interesting, I don't see that as strange at all.

I have heard of several adoption agencies that are not currently accepting new applicants, and that seems to be taken OK.

So, why is it wrong for an agency to not accept new applicants for one program, but to accept them for another?

I guess I see it as closing one program when you have too many applicants to manage properly. Everyone wants status updates, everyone wants a chance to be seen by prospective birth parents, everyone wants a personal touch and to know they're not just one of a thousand applicants in an agency's books.

So if an agency has two separate programs, why can't they say one is full and the other isn't? Or that one is so nearly close to full that they are limiting it to previous clients only, and the other isn't?

Or am I not seeing some "real" problem with this?

[Linny]

I see what you mean, Diane.....and I've known of agencies who stated they weren't taking families for CC babies. Fine with us as we never wanted one! LOL

But, here's the problem I have with it: If a family is not making a 'non-caucaisan baby' a first choice...and are 'forced' to take a multi-racial or AA baby 'instead'....what's that say for the acceptance of the baby?????
Ive' heard and known of stories where the adoptive couple couldn't handle the 'darkness' of the baby...and my feeling is that the agencies should have discussed this more---or somehow screened the family more thoroughly before any baby was offered to them,KWIM?

We all know of couples who simply----for whatever reason, would not parent a baby who did not look like them......and for an agency to say, 'then you'll have to take this one'.....is putting the baby at risk, IMO.

Just my two-cents....

Sincerely,

Linny

[timni]

Let me clarify,

I requested the information packet that anyone can get here is a quote from it.

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by Linny

But, here's the problem I have with it: If a family is not making a 'non-caucaisan baby' a first choice...and are 'forced' to take a multi-racial or AA baby 'instead'....what's that say for the acceptance of the baby?????
Ive' heard and known of stories where the adoptive couple couldn't handle the 'darkness' of the baby...and my feeling is that the agencies should have discussed this more---or somehow screened the family more thoroughly before any baby was offered to them,KWIM

I see this as a big problem as well. And also what I stated earlier about not making these people available to expectant parents to choose from.

[Vogi2002]

Okay well I din't realize that they just werent CURRENTLY accepting applications...I thought this was a general rule (as in they would accept an application for paps without children). I agree with this then....and I think it is good that they are limiting themselves. They probably put a clause in there because there is a need for aparents that are open to AA/BR children...

[LibbyHawkins]

It really is a business whether we like it or not and if people have put their faith in them before, they are rewarding their loyalty by trying to help them out. It's quite possilbe that those who have adopted with them before will have a longer wait time, I doubt they are moved to the top of the list.

No one "has" to accept a child outside of their parameters, they are up front, this information is on the APPLICATION, as someone who has thought about adoption for a long time, I know what I am looking for and what I am not. The desire for a child will not "make" me accept something that I have already decided is not a good fit for me.

We all know there seems to be more AA or AA/CC babies available, so it makes sense that they continue to accept clients with an interest in the babies that are AVAILABLE.

And before anyone flames me, I am quite willing to adopt a child of any heritage, but I don't want a BABY! Give me a toddler!