[letsgoshopping]

Two weeks ago we unfortunately had a failed adoption, we were heartbroken, but found out in the same week that we were matched again. We are excited about the potential, just far more skeptical now, not as sunshine and roses as it felt the first time to be matched (I really would like to be excited).

Anyway...the issue that we're dealing with now is that this adoption is costing $10000 more than our previous match. There are more living expenses, still no medical expenses (Medicaid), but our major area of contention is with $5000 more in legal fees. We are working with an agency who is very reputable, but right now I can't shake the feeling that we're just not getting the whole story. Is it normal to pay an agency $18500, an attorney in one state $7000 and an attorney in another state $6000...in addition to living expenses, etc...total adoption is nearing $41000? DH and I are at a loss as to what questions to ask because we don't know if this is normal or if we're being charged more than we should. We would probably handle the questioning differently if we weren't dealing with people who are going to make our dream of parenthood come true (don't want to bite the hand that feeds you)....but we don't want to be taken advantage of either.

If anyone has gone through this and has mastered the art of getting answers out of an adoption agency, please let us know. We greatly appreciate it!

[dutchgirl2]

Yikes! That seems exhorbitant to me! Honestly I don't see anything wrong with just asking your agency why the fees are so high. They are working for you after all.
I can totally understand that you don't want to rock the boat and that perhaps you're even thinking that you might upset the agency and it will work against you. But I don't think that should keep you from asking where all that $ is going and how it is being used. It is your right to know how they are distributing the funds. 41,000 is a rediculous amount in my opinion.

Simone

[mommamarci]

Our Indiana attorney was supposed to be $3000. (WE did not end uop using him becuase we got an out of state match and finalized there.) The attorney we did use in Ohio cost us $1800. That included ICPC, court costs, eveyrthing. I would ask the agency and maybe even call the attorneys and ask them for a more itemized break down.

[Robyn7135]

I would want to know what the 18K fee to the agency covered if it didn't cover birthmom expenses or legal fees. That seems extremely high to me. I am very new to the adoption game, but I spent a ton of time researching different agencies and 41K is outrageous. Good luck!

[emmaalso]

HI we had a similar situation recently will ou pm me or email me?

[traceyk]

WOW! Can't offer any advice but wanted to say i am sorry your dream is costing you so much. We went with an agency where ALL expenses were included and you lose nothing if it fails.

[court5505]

I think that is a ridiculous amount of money! I would carefully ask questions and if you're still not comfortable, find another agency.

[jaenelle]

I would NOT pay anywhere near that. I would be calling other agencies if I were you.

[kelceesmom]

That is way out there. We make decent money but would never afford those kinds of costs. Our daughter was born out of state so with 2 lawyer fees, facilitator fee, HS, bmom expenses, and some incidentals we paid between $18-20. I have that that is a little on the high side from others too. Good luck. I would be asking a ton of questions.

[HappyTwinsMom]

I wouldn't even consider paying that kind of money in legal fees. Our adoption was interstate so we had attorneys in both states. The out-of-state one was $500 and the in-state one was $1000 (and he was the attorney who went to court with us). Our total expenses (no medical, no living) came to less than $14,000 with an agency.

Like the previous poster said, ask lots of questions! Good luck to you!

[Kirsty814]

We are currently working with an attorney in FL that itemizes EVERYTHING down to the last cent. He sent us our first bill which was 3k for working with the birthmom since January (she has no living expenses); he was VERY up front about ALL costs. I would definitely ask for a break down of all costs and hourly rates for each person working the case (attorneys and social workers). I think our total will be under 15k for out of state adoption when it's all over and baby is in our arms. Best wishes to you

[chemist]

That seems very high.

We're using an in-state agency, their fees are about 13k. It does NOT cover legal fees. The lawyer they recommend charges $650 for most situations, complicated stuff can run more.

If we go out-of-state we will have more attorney fees in that state. Not 7,000 worth, though. That seems outrageous.

[AwaitingBeloved]

It IS high, but ours was about that high, too... our agency did EVERYthing. And continue to offer post adoption support to us and dd's bparents if anyone ever needs it.

However, had I known other, more economical routes to adopt prior to investing financially in them, I'd have gone the more economical route. But, I'm glad we had them because we had some tough situations and they really helped us out.