[Forever_family]

I'm happy to see this thread is still going. I'm learning so much.

Yesturday I found out our baby is asthmatic. Yippy...more breathing treatments. I also went over his food issues with the Pediatrician (a different one) and was told again to let him eat as much as he wants. I don't think they get it-he will eat until he spits up. Also he was 19 pounds 4 weeks ago he is now almost 23 pounds. I do not think that kind of weight gain is healthy and it has been since he was transitioned into our home so it is essentially our situation causing such a drastic weight gain.

Joschild I think we have a similar situation with our foster/adopt baby that you had with your foster son. Only he was 3 months old when he entered care and his only form of comfort was a bottle propped to his face. You would think that at 3 months he could recover but his foster mom struggled with it for 8 months until he moved to our home. He was obsessed with the bottle now it is transferred to food. I think his foster mom may have limited his food a little too much, okay its hard to say because the poor lady had to deal with what I'm dealing with and when do you say enough is enough? He was only 19 pounds at 12 months and only gained one pound from 3 months to 12 months old. I think that is strange. I'm frustrated because I know he 's being manipulative about food and I feel I am feeding the manipulation by giving in to his screams for more food as instructed. I also do not feel it is healthy to let him eat until he is spitting up.

So I called his SW today to get her take on it, thank goodness for good Social Workers! She told me that often Pediatricians do not get that the magnitude of these issues. She told me to feed him an appropriate healthy amount and then tell him he is full no matter how much he screams. To try before he starts to scream to redirect him to something fun that has nothing to do with food. She said if this is not resolved within a month she will get us into a specialist. I also wonder if allergies are not a part of this since we know he is asthmatic for sure now and we know his mom gave him cereal from birth????

[ChristieS]

Originally Posted by Forever_family

I don't think they get it-he will eat until he spits up. Also he was 19 pounds 4 weeks ago he is now almost 23 pounds. I do not think that kind of weight gain is healthy

It does not sound healthy at all.

Originally Posted by Forever_family

his only form of comfort was a bottle propped to his face. ... He was obsessed with the bottle now it is transferred to food.

Ooooh...now that explains quite a bit about both food and attachment.

Originally Posted by Forever_family

I'm frustrated because I know he 's being manipulative about food and I feel I am feeding the manipulation by giving in to his screams for more food as instructed. I also do not feel it is healthy to let him eat until he is spitting up.

I agree with you. This is what Josie was dealing with and what she did worked with that child. Each child is an individual though. I smiled a little when you said "...for more food as instructed." Sounds like he has trained you pretty well. Time to turn the tables and be the one instructing him I think.

Originally Posted by Forever_family

So I called his SW today to get her take on it, thank goodness for good Social Workers! She told me that often Pediatricians do not get that the magnitude of these issues. She told me to feed him an appropriate healthy amount and then tell him he is full no matter how much he screams. To try before he starts to scream to redirect him to something fun that has nothing to do with food. She said if this is not resolved within a month she will get us into a specialist. I also wonder if allergies are not a part of this since we know he is asthmatic for sure now and we know his mom gave him cereal from birth????

Have you tried feeding him only low-cal food and letting him eat until he first begins to gag? Gross, I know, but might give him a chance to feel full and not gain weight. This is a really tough case, so I'm not sure. Maybe keeping our carrot pieces (whatever low-cal food he will eat but may not particularly like) on the table available at all times? You have probably tried all of this, so I'm just coming up with ideas.

I agree with your Social Worker. He simply can not be allowed to manipulate you by screaming for more food, and this is a HUGE issue in his life which can only be made a non-issue by you.

I'm all for further medical testing, particularly since he is asthmatic. I'm surprised he hasn't screamed himself into an asthmatic attack. Allergy testing might certainly be warranted.

Sounds like you are loving this child and doing everything possible and he is lucky to have you. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ChristieS]

I forgot to address this one in my last post.

You guys have GREAT ideas on how to deal with temper tantrums and head-banging; thought I'd add another.

My husband's granddaughter used to do a form of this. When she wasn't hurting herself we just stepped around her in the kitchen and ignored her. If I was worried about her hurting herself I put a blanket on the floor underneath her and then ignored her.

Then when we got my son her tantrums would disturb him so much that he would shake uncontrollably. So we implemented a tantrum-place rule: "You have a choice. You may play and have fun or you may pitch a fit. If you pitch a fit you must do it on the bed with the door closed. When you calm down I'll come back in." This said of course prior to the fits and probably without her understanding it. So we would pick her up, put her on the bed and shut the door. When she got quiet I would go in there and bring her out to play. Soon she began going to the bed on her own to throw a fit and then it stopped altogether (well, most of the time).

Oh - and when they gain verbal skills it is much easier to teach them to appropriately express anger. Also, children understand language LONG before they can speak it - so I have made it a habit to always talk to my son as though he understood, even when I wasn't sure if he could.