[jaenelle]

I mean, we haven't even gotten Yuna's adoption finalized yet, and here I am already wishing we could adopt again.

I guess I feel kind of... guilty, because there are still people on these boards who started before we did, and still don't have their babies, and here I am wishing for another one.

Anyone else feel like this?

[loveajax]

This is actually a great time to start thinking of another....I put my profile "in" for one situation when DD was about 10 months old (unfortunately we were not selected). DD was the happiest, sweetest baby....now she is a holy terror and the thought of having a baby scares the poo out of me!!!! I am thinking now I may wait to adopt again until she is 3-ish (but I almost wished I did it when she was a baby so I would be "done" -- I only want 2 kids).

Don't feel guilty. You know your family is not complete yet and that's totally fine...good luck!

[mom2GRLC]

I agree...it's not about other people waiting for their child. I don't believe children are just sent to families haphazardly....I believe God knows the needs of each of us and each of our children and he helps bring the right children to the right families.

If your feeling prompted to open your heart to another one, I'm sure he is preparing you for the new little one he is about to send you.

I say follow your heart.

We recieved each of our children in a very short amount of time....each before the last was even finalized and now we have four beautiful children and we are still waiting to finalize our last.

On top of that we feel compelled to begin our infertility treatments again. For a while I felt guilty about that. How could I possibly justify trying and praying for more when we've already been so blessed. But God has an individual plan for each of us and our families and he knows when it's the right time. So don't feel guilty....just enjoy your blessings and keep following Gods promptings and you can't go wrong.

[Yash]

Kat,

I totally feel you. I was at this adoption support group meeting and this couple was talking about how they couldn't even think about number 2 because they were enjoying every single precious moment with baby number 1. Wow, I thought, what does it mean that I was thinking about baby number 2 before Jory could hold his head up by himself.

But I realized everyone is different. I can enjoy raising my son and live in the moment with him, while at the same time pursue a second adoption. His sister will be 3 months old on the 13th and I"m awaiting my 171-H so I can move ahead with getting them a sibling from Vietnam.

So when are you going to be sending in the app for baby number 2?

[jaenelle]

Originally Posted by Yash

So when are you going to be sending in the app for baby number 2?

Haha! Since I haven't even talked to Vince about it in any serious way, I expect it'll be awhile. But it IS very nice to know there are some other people who feel the same way -- that I'm not alone in this.

I really haven't done too much looking into Vietnam as I assume we'd be adopting domestically (through foster care is my hope) but it sounded like a good program from what I did see. Good luck!

[BabsCanada]

Don't feel guilty. I did ...

After we adopted dd, we moved and our file was transferred to our new home town. The social worker from the new office called us exactly one year after our adoption was finalized, and invited us to submit our application for #2.

We procrastinated. I had some difficulty with the forms, I remember there was so much emphasis on discipline, and as dd was only 18 mos old, I thought some of the questions crossed the line; haven't we already proven ourselves to be good parents?!

But aside from that, I did feel guilty, that we'd already been blessed while others waited, how could I possible ask for another when so many were still waiting for their first ...

I called the social worker and said, I'm grateful for what we have. I want someone else to have the chance.

She accepted our decision, with a comment that when we were ready, she was sure we'd have a short wait time.

Well, we never did re-apply; now that dd is 10, I sometimes regret that we didn't give her a sibling.

So... do you live with guilt (which is really pretty unfounded) or do you live with regret ...

I'd say, Go For It.

Babs

[mommmmy]

I also believe that children come to us when and how they are meant to. I know this bothers some out there too.

I know it's hard to not feel bad for others. Everyone has their own path though.

I say go for it. Things will happen the way they are meant to.

[Linny]

BTDT a whole bunch of times! If you feel this in your heart (as others have also said)....do it. Like the others too, I think babies come to the right families. And, you never know how long your wait may be; AND....as I always said, 'you can always turn down the situation if the timing isn't 'right'......correct?
Do it. Plan and apply. If another wee one is to come to your arms....you'll be ready!

Sincerely,

Linny

[BlessedBe]

I totally understand how you feel and you shouldn't feel guilty at all.

A few months after DS was born, I started yearning for another child. I did feel guilty at times because I felt like wanting another so soon was cheating DS. Looking back, my want for another child probably began because we would be adopting again and soon - but, I just didn't know it yet. Yes, I believe God was preparing me for what was about to happen!

When DS's birthmom called me to tell me she was pregnant again, had intended on parenting this child, but things were not working out as she'd hoped and do we want to adopt this baby as well - I said yes without skipping a beat.

I don't have that yearning again this time which is a good thing because I don't think we'll be ready to adopt again any time real soon (even though we don't feel our family is complete yet). This 34-year-old body of mine works hard to keep up with the toddler and the baby these days!

[Honesty76]

We adopted five babies in five years and would not change a thing! Our first DS came to us at 3 weeks old, our second came to us at 2 years old but is same age as first DS (24 days apart), our third DS came 6 months after #2 at 5 weeks old, our 4th DS came 15 months after #3 at 8 months old and our lil princess came 8 months after #4 DS at 8 weeks old. Are we done??? Not if you ask DH, suddenly he thinks 6 kiddos sounds more rounded. We will see what The Plan is Everybody's family is created differently and in different timing. Do what is right for YOU.

~Leslie

[allanacw]

My son is only 5 months old and the wheels have been turning in my head for at least a month on child #3. I've pitched it to my husband and have to just leave him alone to marinate about it (so hard to shut up and just let him think!). I would really like to adopt from China next, but given the recent changes and DH not being on board yet, it doesn't look like that can happen. It will likely be through Children's Aid again.

I don't feel like I'm cheating my son by wanting another one...I've always been a planner. I'd like him to be older and independent by the time we have a third (if we do) because I don't want to do a teeny tiny baby again. At least a few months old. My daugher is 7 and I love the big age gap, but by waiting will we not want to start over and do diapers again?

Like a previous poster said, I believe God has a plan and if there's meant to be third there will be. Now I must stop thinking about baby names in my head!

[traceyk]

It's all a personal preference. When we left our agency with Drihan we looked at our SW and said "see you in 2 years". But now we feel differently, we are one of those couples that doesn't want her to have to share the spotlight. But with that being said, I have the two older ones that are 23 mo. apart and I rememeber how hard it was to juggle an infant and toddler at 21 yrs old. My point is only you knw what is best for you. I have family memebers saying we should do it again, but in my heart this is what is right for me.

[Mared2chuck]

TracyK what a beautiful baby. I can relate to your commet about not wanting your dd to share the spotlight. I feel the same way with my ds. I too have two older children (18,17) 20 months apart. I just enjoy being with my little one and watching him grow. If God persented me with a situation I felt like I was supposed to take I would but I am not looking into anything right now. Good luck to everyone. If you feel like you want to expand your family I say Go For It. You never know how long it may take and from previous experience having 2 close in age isn't so bad. I enjoyed it and they have each other to play with and grow up with. Don't feel guilty. It is wonderful you have compassion for those who are still waiting but you don't have control over any of that. God does have a plan for everyone. Have faith that you will know what feels right for you and your family.

[mommamarci]

No way should you feel bad for wanting another. Money is the only thing keeping us from number 2 right now. We are planning on #2 in February when we get our tax check back. I want my kids to be close in age and I want Cameron to have a sibling. My mom comes from a huge family and I have 2 sisters. I just feel it is more important for him to have a sibling that anything else. So, this means I will have to stay a working mom for longer, but it is worth it. (Although I am hoping I won't be a working mom for too many more years...)