[mommy2jillian]

Does it ever seem like everyone around you is having a a baby. We just found out, on my birthday of all days, that we may not be eligable to adopt again due to my medical history. Slam #1!!!! Than tonight I found out that my sister in law is pregnant YET again for the second time in a year. Both sister in laws have had babies already within the year and now the other one is pregnant and the baby isn't even 8 months old... I want to scream!!!!! 3 babies within a year I can't take it. Please I need someone to help me through this.... I can't stop crying. Cindy

[jjlutefisk]

Oh man, that is tough! I know that sometimes I feel surrounded by babies. Every time I go to the store or anywhere. I always have to look at them and sigh. For the longest time, I thought I was being stalked by pregnant women. They were everywhere.

I think that sometimes, you need to protect yourself and set up some boundaries. If you are uncomfortable around someone, you should try to limit how much time you spend with them. I know that some women just don't go to baby showers. And the people around you have no idea how you are feeling unless you tell them. If you mention that you are feeling sad because you want another baby and you aren't sure if that's going to be able to happen, I would hope that they would understand and be sensitive to you. I remember seeing red when my sister in law was complaining that her baby was a boy and she wanted a girl. I couldn't be around her for a long time.

I hope things get better for you.

[Leigh131313]

I am SO sorry that you are going through this. Sometimes life just does not seem fair. I think we've all been in that position...babies babies everywhere...pregnant people...stupid movies about people having babies...

Do you have any options to adopt again? I'm not familliar with your story, but surely there must be a way to adopt again?


Sending good thoughts your way

[lareyna]

Are you telling the story of my life... For the last 2 years everyone that is close to me including my best friend (pg twice in 1 year also), my sister-in-laws,2 of my aunts (1 was pg with twins) and my God-sister who is 6 years younger than me. It is truly a test of your faith and patience. I keep trying to tell myself that my day is coming and it will all be worth the wait, but every now and again the green-eyed monster pops his ugly head and I am left feeling blue. So you are not alone in your struggles!

[mommy2jillian]

Thanks ladies.... I don't have a good relationship with the In-Laws the way it is. All I heard from them was how I shoudln't get excited about my duaghter until she was adopted...Don't fix up a room nothing until she is offical. This from someone who has NO clue what this is like giving me advice onthe subject. I gues I was supposed to ignore my baby and not have a room for her for the next 4 months... She the green monster has come ouot and I will get over it but at the moment I feel so much anger and frustration. both sister in laws had boys until the older one "conventinetly" had a girl after saying she was having a girl for 2 yrs even going so far as to paint the room that way and wasn't even pregnant... can you say obsessed with having a daughter. Now the one who is pregnant is doing the same things they can't handle that we had the firsst girl in the family so now they are continuing to get pregnant until that happens. The older one did have a girl who is one this weekend, but if you ask me they had a lilttle help from medical science. Anyway I will as said get over my bad attitude and just need to stay away from them for a while. Sorry if I am being a baby or appear rude as you all know it is just hard seeing this right now. Cindy

[kelceesmom]

I know what you mean. Just in the last couple of months 2 of my co-workers have become pregnant. I guess I am a little jealous and don't want to admit it. We are not able to adopt again due to finances. I had hoped that we would be able to have 2 children and that is not possible. I just need to be completely thankful for what I have gotten out of life!

[waiting4amiracle]

Cindy - I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. We're all here for you "kiddo."

I know as soon as DW and I began our adoption journey it was as if babies erupted from around every corner, from under every tree and rock and chair! Now we notice every baby in church, in a store, inthe park. ARGH!!! On the family side 3 Christenings in 5 months....with another one in April. Perhaps there's a bit of jealousy and envy but we're thankful they're part of our lives and gives us hope we will have our baby someday.

[Cyndie216]

I can also empathize with you, Cindy. I am beyond thankful for our Riley, but really long for another child. We cannot afford another adoption or IVF - the only two ways for it to happen for us. Yes, I always think that the amount of pregnant women, my friends and family included, just seems out of whack and gets to me a lot. Big hugs to you!

[shy_bear]

I hear you loud and clear!!! Even the girl who waxes my eyebrows just told me she is pg!!! It is ALL around me.

May I suggest to all of you looking at your local foster care system for adoption. We have two girls who were adopted through domestic infant progams; we knew we could not afford to to it again, but I know I am not done having kids. You CAN adopt a healthy child from the system. You CAN adopt a baby. It has been a rough journey to get where we are now, but I know in the end it will be so worth it!!

[BethAF]

Don't feel guilty about being upset, jealous, etc. It's a normal part of the process that all of us have gone (or are going) through. Right now I'm not really angry or sad. But, around the holidays I was, and it lasted for a good 4-5 weeks straight. It's not fun to feel that way. But don't drive yourself even crazier by feeling guilty about it.
Best of luck with everything! You're in my thoughts!

Beth

[bajj]

I do understand! I am now longing for #3 and I know people think I already have 2 and it shouldn't be hard, but it is. We both came from large families and dream of having one, too.

Several of my friends either just had babies or are about to or just got pregnant. Relatives, too. It always happens this way and it's hard. Sometimes I can handle baby showers and sometimes I can't.

Hang in there, you're not alone!

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by mommy2jillian

Does it ever seem like everyone around you is having a a baby. We just found out, on my birthday of all days, that we may not be eligable to adopt again due to my medical history. Slam #1!!!! Than tonight I found out that my sister in law is pregnant YET again for the second time in a year. Both sister in laws have had babies already within the year and now the other one is pregnant and the baby isn't even 8 months old... I want to scream!!!!! 3 babies within a year I can't take it. Please I need someone to help me through this.... I can't stop crying. Cindy

{{{hugs}}}

Before I adopted Maire-Kate, I burst into tears every time I saw a pregnant woman. I had tried invitro for a year before starting adoption. Just after completing my homestudy, my youngest sister found out she was pregnant -a total surprise and unplanned pregnancy. I was devasted. Here I was trying SO HARD to get pregnant and then adopt-and then SHE gets pregnant without even trying?!! It was so unfair and I was heartbroken. As it turned out, our children are only a few months apart and are like brother & sister. In the end, it worked out fine. But at that moment, I didn't know where God was leading me-but it felt like a dead end road.

It's hard to keep the faith when life seems so incredibly unfair-but you have to just trust that your prayers will be answered. All the while I was crying and complaining about my sister being pregnant, my daughter was already conceived and on the way. I had no way of knowing this and I bugged God to death. I don't know how He put up with me!
He probably wanted to scream at me and say "Can you please give me a chance to answer your prayers before crying to Me for not answering your prayers?!"
*Patience isn't one of my virtues. But God knows that!

I hope things work out well for you. Keep the faith

[Forever_family]

This is different then your pain but each time I hear somebody is pregnant or having a baby I get sad and then I feel guilty because I'm being so selfish. I have 2 children and for the last 5 years have desperatly wanted more. Most people don't understand this and think I should be happy with my kiddoes-I am-but there is a real desire for me to have more children...anyway. On Saturday I was getting my hair done by my somwhat unstable/wacky SIL who is (in my opinion) abusive to her children. She is pregnant, by accident, with baby number 3 and is horribly unhappy about it. She spent the entire 2 hours of highlighting my hair complaining about her pregnancy. I went home and sobbed for 2 hours.

Its so hard not to have these feelings.

[mommy2jillian]

What an amazing group of "FRIENDS" I have here.. U all just know what to say and NO were else could I get this support even with my mom or best friend...they haven't been there although they try to relate. I am feeling better today and realize I have to let go of the things I can not control and be happy with my blessings. I am feeling bad however for getting so emotional on here and I know TONS of you are still waiting for your first miracle to arrive. I guess no matter where you are in the journey it still hurts. God be with all of you and again thanks a million and one for your thoughts and prayers... Cindy

[awebaby]

I have been in the same situation on numerous occasions where you feel like the odd-(non-pregnant)-woman out! A few years ago, I received invitations to & attended 13 baby showers in one calendar year, between family members, friends and co-workers. It was really too much to handle, not to mention pricey. I've never been one to leave the party early but recently I'm leaving much earlier especially from the baby showers. I am truly happy for my friends but just a little sad for myself especially since I can not have bio children due to medical issues very early on.

Another situation along those same lines is being 40+. My nieces and nephews are now old enough to start families of their own as are teh children that I was a nanny for during my college days and some of my friends children are as well. That is a new whammie!

DH and I kind of thought that one of his cousins may end up being a possible situation for us eventually (she is a beautiful girl but did not have the best childhood and sought attention of boys to escape). Well, last year she became pregnant at 21 - a much later age than we guessed. Luckily, she was with a great guy who has an equally great family and they have gotten married and have a little girl. But I am thrilled that she has come through her earlier life with a new beginning. She was a young girl who looked up to me and was in our wedding.

I had a reaction to it all that even surprised me. It's really hard to explain but I almost felt left out. Hope you ladies can kind of understand that, I'm not sure I do. The same feeling comes over me in the grocery line or when another neighbor has the "It's a B/G" sign or balloon hanging off the mailbox.

I do know that some day I will have the sign and the balloons too! Just wish I had a crystal ball to know how much longer I need to be patient!

Sorry that got a little long!