[anina]

Hello! I ask before writing to try and not be too judgemental and please respect me. I have a 5 year old boy whom we adopted at birth. Our adoption is open and very rocky. Ever since the bfather came back into the picture and now the bmom has three other kids and one on the way she has been very distant. I tried to call her for three weeks and no call. My son also calls her and no response. I finally got ahold of her and told her we needed to set up a meeting and if we did not hear from her then we would not contact her anymore. Well she never called. Last nite we were shopping and when I looked up to put groceries in cart there she was right beside me. She never said a word to me or my husband. I was so upset and now wish I would have said hi and talked to her. I made myself sick over this whole thing and do not understand what is going on. I do not know what to do or how to handle this relationship. My son has gotten to where he likes to call her but do not know if this is right. I am so confused and need some advice and direction. I love her dearly and do not want to see my son loose her. Please help me.

Desperate mom needing advice

[SweetMamaMe]

We are in a vaguely similar situation in that our dd's bmother keeps making contact, then dropping out of site, etc. This is following a very rocky start to our open adoption. I would hardly call it an open adoption any more b/c it seems to exist only to serve her at various times in her life that I have yet to figure out. I wish I had words of advice for you, but I'm too biased right now. Our plan is to just back off worrying about it (ha~right) and keep our daughter as happy and content as she can be. Later, if she gets curious or wants to know more, we'll handle it one thing at a time, but I'm not going to push for more contact or openness any more. I'm so tired. I'm so sorry you are going through this. You sound like a very kind mommy wanting to do what's best for her child, while not hurting her bfamily, too. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs!