[redbonec]

We didn't see this coming.
Today our SW came for the fifth month of post-placement visits. She told us the news as she came in--the agency's office who handled the birthfather signing the paperwork made a mistake--the notary also signed himself as a witness--which a notary cannot do--a notary cannot also be a witness--so, officially as of now, the birthfather's rights have not yet been terminated! Because it is not an official document, because of the notary part. After 5 months! He had signed the day K was born. The agency's lawyer caught this as he was reviewing the paperwork to prepare it for finalization next month.

So, now, birthmother's rights were terminated 2 days after birth, and birthfather's are not, which we all thought were at the same time.

SW is not worried--she reiterated that if birthfather reconsidered he would have to tell his family, which she thinks they still do not know about K, and he is not in a position to parent, really.

But, my husband and I wonder. A while before the birth, he did not want to sign away rights--he had said to birthmom "You want me to sign away the rights to my only living child?" (He is in his 40's). However, when the offer was made that he parent, he did not want to. Pretty much wanted birthmom to parent, which she had decided she would place for adoption.

So, now, when approached to RE-SIGN his paperwork, will he reconsider? Has he been regretting his decision? Could he get his family involved to help raise K? At the time of signing, our SW had said the office who handled it mentioned that he was "grumpy" about it and rude.

I am hoping the worrying is for nothing, but for now all kinds of crazy thoughts are going through our heads.

[Emster]

Prayers coming your way that it all works out. I know you must be on pins and needles. Do you know when they are going to approach him about it again? And do you know where this goofy notary is that doesn't know he can't do that??

[2manyks]

wow-that is NOT good. i would be just like you and be worried sick. but i bet that he is fine with his decision. my friend had to go back several months later to get tpr paper resigned because of a messup and she was worried too, but bmom just signed without hesitating. so, hopefully the same will happen to you! prayers for you!

[Leigh131313]

I know you must be worried sick...I would be too...but honestly, I'm sure this will all work out. You haven't had issues with him, right? Things have been ok these five months? So i think you'll be fine.

hugs tho, it must be very hard.

[devildogwife]

Oh my goodness how nerve wracking! I hope this gets resolved very very quickly!

[ajrl]

I am so sorry that this is happening... my stomach just did flip flops.. I wish you luck and hope that he will sign quickly.

AJ

[mom2GRLC]

How scary, I hope everything gets resolved soon. Try and stay positive.

[taramayrn]

My goodness - I'd be scared too if I were in your position. Praying that things will work out - I'm sure they will.

[JGarrick]

Allow me to bang my head on the wall on your behalf.

I can't begin to imagine how frustrating this setback must be. Try not to go completely insane waiting for this twist to work itself out.

You seem to be a victim of that old curse: "May you live in interesting times." But feat not, when your child finally comes, times will get even more "interesting," and you'll have this story to tell your grandchildren.

[joskids]

I'm so sorry for you. We just went through a contested adoption with a birthfather and it was so nerve-wracking I thought I would lose my mind. It sounds like, in your case, all will be well but I so understand your concern. By the way, our situation worked out well. In Ohio there is a putative father registry and it, among other issues, held up for us. Praying for you.

Josie

[billysmommy]

I'm so sorry you have to face this! We too, had a setback after our first child was born. He was born right on the cusp of law changing in our state and his first mom had to resign 2 weeks later. The news was terrfiying.....but it all worked out.
Sending positive thoughts your way!

[waiting4amiracle]

Oh maaannn....I've got a knot in my stomach just thinking about how you must feel. Prayers coming your way BIG time. Being one familiar with legal matters I don't understand how the Notary made such a basic yet significant mistake! Tell your SW to make sure the next Notary (a) is more careful; and (b) still has a valid license/certificate.

Hang in there. As one other mentioed, if BF hasn't been an issue all along perhaps it won't be an issue now.

[StorkWatcher]

Thinking of you - PLEASE keep us updated! If there is any way we can help you here, we will. At the very least, we're sending calming vibes your way.

I am sure every a-parent reading this is feeling tummy knots/chills/heartaches for you!

[kelceesmom]

Oh Red,

I am sorry you have to be in this position. It is hard to understand how a "mistake" like this can be made by a professional. We will all be thinking of you and sending our prayers your way.

Try to stay calm it probably will be a very simple fix.

[missyB77]

I'm sure everything will be fine. We had a birthfather issue too and it is very scary. I found be a bit mad at the attorney. Actually, our attorney screwed up our paperwork too and so we had a different date on the finalization papers...they actually had the wrong name on our finalization papers! I guess we all make mistakes but I hope in this case, your attorneys get this corrected ASAP. Hang in there!