[beth9927]

Hi. This may sound silly to some, but I just had to ask. I have a wonderful 10 yr. old who has had a chronic illness since age 2. My husband and I have only been away from him once for a weekend (actually only one full day gone) in 10 yrs. He is now old enough to deal with his illness (along with help from his nana) so we could go away for a trip alone. We adopted our younger son from birth who will be one in Feb. My husband has a work conference to go to and would like to take me alone for about 5-6 days. Has anyone out there ever left their babies?? For FIVE days?? I want to go so much in some ways since it's been so long, but I just don't know if I can do it!! Will I scar them for life? Will I have an emotional breakdown and have to fly home? WIll missing them and feeling guilty ruin the trip? Or will I end up on the massage table everyday saying, 'kids, what kids?' Do other people take vacations out there? How do you handle it?
Beth

[Leigh131313]

Since it is your first time being away (i've never been away either) my guess is - it will be a combination..

one minute, looking for the quickest flight home....the next orderring really expensive room service (that you WON'T have to share!!!)


If you are really worried, maybe do something shorter first? see how it goes?

[snickerzaint]

My husband travels pretty much every week, and then last year he had a 3 week assignment in Puerto Rico. We had never had a honeymoon, and we'd never had to be away from each other for so long. He asked me to come down there for the last week that he was going to be down there. He had never asked me to do anything like that before, and I agonized over it for weeks before I decided to go ahead and do it. I hated the idea of leaving my son up here with my mother for 5 whole days. But then I remembered something very important. My husband was there before my son ever was. He's gone all the time and gets pretty lonely. He has a hard job, and yet he keeps doing it to take care of us. I felt like he probably needed the attention more than our son at that point. When I finally got down there, I had no regrets at all. While he was working, I got to hang out at the pool, read, go shopping, do whatever I wanted. It was some much-needed alone time. And then when he wasn't working, we went out and had fun and got to know each other again. I didn't realize how much we'd needed that until we finally got to do it. So go for it, I say. It's not like it's a regular thing for you. Even if they are a little upset about it, they'll forgive you, especially if you come back a better person for the experience. Good luck!!

[Leigh131313]

Even if they are a little upset about it, they'll forgive you, especially if you come back a better person for the experience.

not to mention...if you bring a gifty or two back with you!! lol

[snickerzaint]

Originally Posted by Leigh131313

not to mention...if you bring a gifty or two back with you!! lol

Totally! I brought Alex back a little drum, a Coqui t-shirt, and a little hat. He was ecstatic!

[JewelMarie]

Go for it; the kids will be okay.

This will be your time with your husband.

[devildogwife]

My DH is in the middle of a looooong deployment right now, and if I had to chance to join him-even for a day-I'd jump at it!

[Kellster]

Hi,

When my dd was 8 months old, dh asked me to join him on a business trip for 5 days. I also agonized and I have to admit that leaving was awful- but what got me through was reminding myself that the best gift we can give our children is a strong family- and taking time out to be a couple is an important factor in that.

Hope that helps.

Kelly

[ChristieS]

When my husband was scheduled to fly out to Iraq (his unit was already there) I flew with him all the way to Amsterdam. I certainly did not want to leave my sweet baby - whom I had also not been away from. BUT - I was torn between saying goodbye to my husband for what could be the last time and not taking every minute with him.

I was gone for three days and left my infant with my parents.

**It helped tremendously that I knew he was being spoiled.**

My parents said he did great until bedtime and then he cried for me. But the next morning he was fine again. When I came back I brought him neat little toys that you can't get here in the states.

He was a little mad at me when I got back - but it was short-lived and then he was a little clingy. After that he was just fine.

GO! Enjoy some MUCH-needed time with your husband. (It helped me that I called two or three times a day to check on him.)

Reassure yourself that nana will take great care of them and that you will be a better mom for having taken a long-overdue break for yourself.

Let us know what happens. I hope you have FUN!

[myheart]

Another military wife chiming in.
When my son was 3 years old we had to attend a Marine corp ball out of town, the Marine corp provided babysitting for our children, but I did not want to leave him with total strangers. So, my parents flew in to watch our son, while we went to this mandatory function. Like Christies son, he cried for us at night...only at night. Mom and dad said he was a total angel during the day time, but at night he needed me. It was actually a good experience for him and my parents.
When we came home he ran to my arms and all was well! I know how hard this must be for you, but we moms and dads do need alone time....true alone time!
Go with your husband, and enjoy mommy and daddy time alone.

[traceyk]

My husband travels frequently and he takes baby and I with him. The teens are old enough to stay home alone with family checking in on them. We think it's great experience for her to see so many places, and for free until March! Why don't you take the baby with you?

[rjsmom]

Like others have said take time for you and DH. We left DS with my parents when he was just a couple months old. Of course I called every day.

[beth9927]

I was leaning towards going and now it seems it's unanamous (sp??). What's funny is I mentioned it to my 10 yr old today. I said you remember that Berenstein Bears book I used to read to you where the parents took a 2nd honeymoon? He says yeah.........Ohhhh no you don't! hehe. Then I say, Well, it has been 10 yrs. He says, oh you have to take one every 10 yrs? I said Yes, we'll be gone about 5 days. He says, oh well that's a relief, I thought you'd be gone a week or something! Kids are so funny. He then says as long as you call everyday, it will be ok. Such a sweetie.

THanks for all the advice.
I'll let you know how the trip goes in Feb.!
Beth

[loveajax]

Beth, definitely GO and have a great time. You totally deserve it.

I have had three weekends alone with DH since our DD was born (she is now 19 months). I would LOVE to go on a 5 day trip!!! The kids will be fine and it will be a great thing for your family!!

[myheart]

Originally Posted by rjsmom

Of course I called every day.

How funny, because I called about 3-4times a day....I felt good after each call, I think my parents were getting annoyed. As mom put it, "He is fine, now you go and have fun with your husband and let me enjoy my time with my grandson." Yes, mam..what ever you say"...but I still called always the rebellious teenager.

Beth, I'm so glad you have decided to spend alone time with hubby....Have A great time!