[louiensara]

Hello everyone my name is Sara I'm 23 years old I'm married to a wonder man his name is Louie he is 35 we recently found out it will be very hard for us to conceive if at all. We talked when I first started seeing a fertility doctor just how far we wanted to go with it, I didn't want to spend tons of money on something my doctor said I would only have a 32% chance of conceiveing, so I told my husband what about adoption he thought it was a wonderful idea, we love children I have many niece and nephews who I have taken care of when they were just infants so now its my time to become a mom, I should be getting a call from a social worker here in my county and they are suppose to let me know how to get started, I have no clue where to start or what to do. I called the hotline and they asked me some questions like who lives in our house, do we have pets, what age am I looking into adopting I said ages 0-4, ethic background doesn't matter and boy or girl they are all special. I'm very excited to get some information on how to start.

We will be going through the State and I never thought to do it that way, until a friend of mine was telling me about foster care and adoption through the state and how less expensive it is. I'm just very nervous I live in New Mexico and I'm not real sure how common it is to be able to adopt a younger toddler from the state. but I'm willing to do everything needed so my husband and I will be able to start our family. excited and nervous if anyone can help me that would be wonderful.

[Yash]

Welcome to the board! And welcome to the start of the fun journey of foster care! Adopting via the state is definitely not for the faint of heart.

Have you checked to see if there are any private agencies in your town that do foster care? When I first looked into foster care, two family friends who were licensed through the state URGED me to go through an agency. I am so glad I listened to them. It was nice having a go between myself and the state.

My son's CW (county worker) only called when she wanted to visit (maybe once every four months or so) or when she had bad news though then she would call after she was sure my agency had called and told me first. She rarely returned phone calls.

In LA, where I live, I was told adopting a single toddler would require a wait. Most toddlers in the system have siblings either younger or older or both.

At my last foster parenting class, I asked how long I would have to wait to adopt an infant girl (0 - 2). I was told the wait was 9 - 18 months. But if I was open to a minority boy, I would have an immediate placement. I was certified Halloween 2004 and my five-day-old son was placed December 30, 2004. My son is black.

When I first started the process I desperately wanted a girl, but after hearing the wait I quickly became open to a boy. I wanted to be a mom way more than I wanted a daughter. I even inquired about a sibling group of 2 under the age of 2. But I was told in LA, sibling groups rarely come in groups of 2. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 siblings, they had plenty of. I didn't think I could handle going from zero kids to three in one swoop.

Best of luck with your journey and definitely check out your state's foster care board on this site and the general foster care site, they are very great places to learn...

Merry Christmas,

Yash

[PasoJen]

I think it is so great you are thinking about this now when you are both so young. I am just starting the adoption process at 36, my husband is 44 and although I know that is not "too old" I really regret not moving on this faster. I want to be a mom!! Congratulations on your decision. The internet and this forum is a great way to find out more information.

[Vogi2002]

Welcome!! I am also 23 (as is dh) we are going through private domestic agency open adoption (whew...that's a lot of words!! LOL)

Welcome to the craziness that is waiting!!

[kelceesmom]

Glad to have you here. Good luck in your journey. There will be bumps in the road but all worth it in the end.

[waiting4amiracle]

Younger, older - from my perspective it makes no difference if you can offer a loving, nurturing home and life for a baby. My wife & are are "in our 40's" - ok - we're 43 and 44. We are married just about 2 1/2 years and have been home study approved since early September. Like you adoption is the only way in which we can become parents....nature and science have not been working in our favor but we're determined to move on and build our family through adoption. We've retained an adoption attorney who is Quad A and has remarkable connections and quite a network throughout the US. We're also actively "advertising" on the net through one of the many site which allows PAPs to post their profiles.

Welcome to the board and welcome to the sometimes exhausting world of adoption. It's going to be worth every bit of happiness, joy and sadness you'll no doubt experience.