[Stormster]

We did the ground work for a nursery (paint, moldings, all fresh and neutral) and THEN we put our old furniture back in the room so we could 'pretend' it was just the reading room (we actually call it that!) As for the gear....I am a strong believer in knowing what you want before hand so you're not stressed but not buying it until after the baby arrives (except of course the car seat and diapers etc....) which is easier said than done at the last minute but for us it's easy we live ten minutes from babysrus.

What I did also was on Babysrus I did a 'wish list' which is an option when putting things in your cart. OR one could always put a registry up now but not tell anyone yet....just so it's all in one place OR OR OR you can buy the big things on lay away.

I just can't bring it home yet! Those are my thoughts but def. a painted pretty room that can easily and quickly become a nursery. The thought of painting with a newborn in the house!

Good luck!

[tyiakoum]

We had everything basic for an emergency placement as we were offered twins two days after the homestudy was completed.

If I had to do it all over again, I would. We chose not to take the twins (due to illness) however, it is nice to know we won't have to scramble once we have a placement. And two couples we know who adopted had emergency placements and had to scramble and wished they had the basics...

Good luck to you!

[kelceesmom]

We just bought the necessities at first. But....... once we matched and found out we were having a girl we or I should say I went crazy. I was lucky in that we had brought home twin girls a few months earlier that didn't work so I had tons from them. I did the nursery, and new clothes, blankets. You name it if it was for a girl I got it. There was a lot of things that I also ended up not using so choose wisely.

[JGarrick]

Only you can say if having gender-specific colors are important, or if having all the stuff sitting around will be too hard to look at while you're waiting.

With our four, we made sure we had all the big stuff ready in advance, along with at least a small supply of bottles, clothes, diapers, formula, etc. Getting the big ticket items in advance allowed us to shop for bargains. Having a little supply of everyday "stuff" allowed us to spend the first few days at home with our babies without having to constantly run out to some store for something.

If you really don't want to do that, however, most hospitals will send you home with a little care package that should provide essentials to get you by for a day or two. In that case, the only thing you'll absolutely need in advance is a car seat. They won't let you take the baby home without one. I wouldn't recommend waiting until the last minute on that item, because you might end up wasting a lot of time running around trying to find the one you want in stock. Get one with a "base unit" that buckles into (and stays in) the car and a carrier that snaps in and out easily.

If you haven't already done so, trade in your car for one with four doors. The ideal material for the seat where the baby is going is tile, but it's not available, so make sure you get the Scotchguard treatment.

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by JGarrick

If you haven't already done so, trade in your car for one with four doors. The ideal material for the seat where the baby is going is tile, but it's not available, so make sure you get the Scotchguard treatment.

Oh my gosh! That is a great point!! I traded in my two-door Civic for an Element so I could easily get the baby in and out of the back seat without having to climb in the backseat of the car. I had one of the car seats that click into the base but it was still a hassle to get the seat unhooked and then pull it through the narrow opening between the front seat and the door.

[ramnds]

Okay, when I was doing in home child care, I drove a mini van. Once we realized it was nearly impossible to get pregnant, I went to an Impala ( don't tell my husband, I did the car seat check and 3 fit in the back seat fyi). Anyway, now that we are trying to adopt, here we go again and this time we got a Trailblazer--again 3 car seats fit in the back! Our 5 year old and room for 2 more--

A friend of mine was blessed with twins. Well what a shocker when her and her husband left the hospital after her c section and with 2 babies--in a VW Jetta! Guess where the new family's first trip was! lol!

[mommy3]

My thoughts on buying stuff always focus on what YOU can handle and what YOU want to do. For our first adoption, I was still too wounded from miscarriages and couldn't handle another loss, so I only bought a car seat. We didn't set up a nursery. Our son was born when we went to meet his birthfamily; we learned that you can buy what you need very quickly and the hospital helped so much. THEN I went crazy shopping.

For our second adoption, I need to shop, go crazy from day one. I set up the nursery, shopped and shopped. I dreamed she'd be a girl and since I was right about that when we matched, I thought we were set. Nope, she was teeny and nothing fit; by the time she was past preemies, newborn size and into 0-3 M, the seasons were different and she never wore dozens of clothes, ha. Still, I loved the shopping and dreaming, so didn't mind at all.

So, I feel it's up to you. There's always time to go shopping, either now or later. Babies are flexible and don't care that they only have 6 outfits to start (but you'll be a little busy washing. . .) Best of luck! susan

[MichelleL11]

I just wasn't in the mood to have baby things around when I had no idea how long the wait would be. Luckily, we matched relatively quickly and then the little one fooled us all and came THAT EVENING (about three weeks earlier than our "estimate.")

I have to admit it was sort of fun running around Target picking out what we needed before we traveled to where she was born (we rented a car seat from the car rental company -- who actually did not charge us as a "baby gift" - which was very nice.)

I imagine we could've spent less if we had done it slowly, but it is a fun memory -- and I didn't agonize about every little thing like I would've.

So there's my experience -- not sure if I would recommend it, but there were advantages . . .

[Emster]

Our agency warned us that if we started getting things ready too early, we would most likely regret it, feeling sad seeing it empty for a potentially long time, etc. But I WANTED to get things ready, and felt liek that was one small thing I could have control over during that wait time. DH kept telling me, well, the agency said...blah blah blah. I eventually began to resent that advice even though it was over a year from start to finish. Once we were matched with a three week wait until the birth, I INSISTED we start getting things ready, even though DH thought we would be taking our chances if the match didn't follow through. We did take it easy though...Day one after match--bought carseat, digital camera and registed at BRU, at one week--painted nursery, week two had a casual, small, necessities only shower. Family had blowout shower one week after bringing baby home. It all works out. Do what you feel you need to do to prepare. This is your "pregnancy" and "labor" so take care of yourself. You deserve to do it up how you think best!

[JGarrick]

Originally Posted by ramnds

A friend of mine was blessed with twins. Well what a shocker when her and her husband left the hospital after her c section and with 2 babies--in a VW Jetta! Guess where the new family's first trip was! lol!

We had a three year old at home when our twins were born, and our primary car at the time was a Ford Escort. We did manage to get all three kids into the back, but the number one son - wedged into the middle between his new brothers - was not a happy camper.

Hello, minivan.

[ginadc]

We went "halfway." We painted and decorated the nursery in gender-neutral colors (a "jungle at night" theme in pale pastels--yellow, lavender, blue and green), got the crib, and painted furniture, including refinishing and painting a big dresser I'd had in my old apartment before marriage, and DH custom-building and painting a bookshelf based on one we'd seen online that we loved but was crazy-expensive. We also bought a beautiful antique dresser to use as a changing table because it was exactly what we'd envisioned, and it wasn't something we could expect to just pick up when we did finally bring home a baby.

So, all the stuff that would have been harder to do at short notice or after bringing a baby home, we did ahead of time. I figured a quick BRU run would solve any supply problems, but I knew there was no way we'd have time to paint or refinish furniture if we got a quick placement, and I didn't want our baby never to have a decorated nursery!

The other stuff--clothes, stroller, etc.--we mostly waited for. I bought one or two clothes items that I just adored, but otherwise we held back. Then, when we were in our third match--the match that eventually became our adoption of our daughter--I did buy a few cute baby girl outfits near the due date. In fact, we went shopping with DD's birthmom at a wonderful store near her home to pick out our daughter's "coming home from the hospital" outfit together. (I'll always treasure being able to tell her that Mommy and K. picked out this dress together.)

Anyway, that was it. We left most of the other stuff--except car seat!!--for afterward, and it worked out fine. In fact, we were given a surprise shower after we came home from ICPC (so much fun!), and ended up practically drowning in clothes and blankets and the like from that and other friends and family.

Ultimately, I would say that only you know what you're comfortable with, what would be too painful if a match or placement failed, how much stress you'd be under running around for supplies if you got a last-minute call, and all those different factors.

[KansasMomToBe]

dh and I painted and decorated the nursery and set up all the furniture and bedding. We did it all with gender neutral teddy bears. It is very cute and it makes me feel good to go in the room. It gives me hope that this adorable room will have a baby in it someday. However, I could imagine that some people might be depressed by it.

I haven't purchased any clothes. Mainly because gender neutral clothes don't appeal to me. I either like girlie clothes or the boyish clothes.

[gigigeorge]

When we adopted our son in 2003 we didnt buy anything until we went to the hospital, and over the next few days waiting for ICPC stuff we shopped - when we returned home we bought his crib etc... we had already decided which one we wanted but I didnt want it in the house. We bought him a bassinett and thats what he slept in for the first month or so, then he moved into a pack n play then finally at about 6 months moved into his crib... so we definiately didnt need it right away. I also wanted to buy stuff for him, rather than lots of yellow and green gender neutral stuff but thats just me.

In 2005 we were matched, we found out it was a boy and since it was the same birthmom we just assumed that everything would go as planned, so we bought and bought and bought, birthmom came and helped me decorate and set up the nursery... when she changed her mind three days after he was born, we were devestated. Having to come home and see all that stuff was incredibly hard. We took down all the furniture, repainted the room and donated all the baby stuff we bought to a crisis pregnancy center.

Now this time around we arent doing anything, same as the first one. We have the big stuff but other than that we will have a wonderful wild shopping trip once we bring our baby home.

g.