[2Dads]

Hello,
My partner and I live in CA and we have been trying to adopt for over 2 years with no luck. We have gone through 2 failed adoptions were the birthmom was only in for the money and the 2nd never showed up at the airport. She never showed signs of backing out, on the contrary she even called the night before asking who will pick her up. To our knowledge she was 100% for the adoption and yet another disspointment.
This would make our 2nd failed adoption.
Two Saturdays ago we got a phone call from our attorney asking if we were interested in a baby girl that was 5 1/2 months old and that we needed to move fast. So we decided to move forward. Well, today in the late afternoon we got a phone call from our attorney stating that this adoption is going "south."
This makes the 3rd adoption with no luck.
I am running out of energy, this emotional roller coster is too much. I do not know if I can go through another dissappointment.

Truely,

Very sad.

[MrsHoot]

Oh {{{2Dads}}}!!

I am sorry sorry to hear that, I wish I had something constructive to say to you both but, all I can really offer is my sympathy and support (or a shoulder to cry on - I offer up mine anytime you need it, feel free to PM me anytime)

And don't worry you will find the strength - I just know there is a special angel out there somewhere just waiting to come to you two - I will keep you both in my prayers (while I'm there I'll also ask that your "angel" arrives sooner than later)

Hugs, Kisses and much love
C.

[2Dads]

Thank you "MrsHoot"
Your kind words inspire me to continue. I just pray that one of these days we will get our little angel.

Once again, thank you!

[CanadianMommyToBe]

2Dads - our thoughts and prayers are with you both as you strive to build your family!!

Carrie

[Leigh131313]

Ugg..its just SO hard, isn't it?


I hope this journey ends soon for you...with a beautiful bundle!

[mommy3]

2Dads -- it's really just so sad -- and going through your latest ordeal does make it really hard to go on, but do try to regain your strength, take some time away and hopefully you'll again wait for the RIGHT call. We went through more dramas than I can tell you, literally, waiting for our baby in the past few years and then was born to us last Thanksgiving, forever changing our holiday. She'll be one this week, so worth my heartache and deep losses. SHE was meant to be with us, to wait for, we know.

Try to not give up. May you not wait much longer. susan

[MrsHoot]

2Dads - just to try an give you some encouragement - the parents that adopted my Daughter (22years ago) had the same experience...before I met them, they too had 3 girls back out on them, one right after she gave birth...then I came along and they now have a beautiful woman they call daughter.

Keep your chins up my friends, your angel will find it's way to you!!

Hugs, kisses and much love,
C.

[poullafouca]

I am so sorry. Just from the few little things you said I don't feel completely assured that your atty is as comprehensively involved as he/she should be.

I have some ideas on this if you are interested.

IM me

Poulla

[2Dads]

Thank you all...all those are very kind words. I know that adoption is very hard and a big emotional roller coster. I am strong and will continue to pursue our dreams of becoming parents.

Thank you,
omar

[mom2samuel]

I am so sorry!! We just went through our 3rd failed adoption on Sunday. It is the most gut wrenching thing to go through, so I KNOW what you are going through. It's something that makes us question ourselves, our agencies, lawyers, and the whole world around us. It is especially hard with the holidays approaching.

Please take time to grieve, be angry, or whatever it is that brings you solace. There are so many that understand you and will be here for you. Keep us posted.

Michelle

[tobeafamily]

This would be one of the Great Stinky Parts about adopting - the roller coaster, the potentials that did not become realities. They are crushing, and we wonder how we'll ever recover and go on, and even if we want to.

You will and you will. Because in your heart, there is a child. When that child is there, they will never stop being there, and it will find what it's looking for.

So look for the peace in understanding this truth. Be careful not to let these setbacks blind you, to let feelings of desperation control choices that you would not otherwise have made.

When your child comes, it will be with the confidence and serenity that this is meant to be. Listen for that, it will be there, always. "Oh God what if this falls through AGAIN?!" will not be so strongly there, though you'll hear it.

I look at events like these as a training ground - helping you be as emotionally tough as you'll need to be when your child really does arrive. The night our son came was the most intense of my life. They said I'd feel every emotion there is. They didn't tell me it would be all at once. I honestly thought I could not breathe at times. So, think of this as training for that day.

Oh, and the days after that when your child tells you they hate you, you're awful, etc. You think now that won't bother you. You'll realize later that when you said that (and truly meant it) to your parents it broke their hearts even as they were saying back "Well I love you no matter what."

Hang in. Be good to yourselves and to each other. Remember that courage is that little voice that says "I will try again tomorrow." Tomorrow always comes.

Regina

[DebCsMom]

To you!!! It's tough, this part of adoption. We had a couple failed ones, too. But now we have 3 BEAUTIFUL children! Well actually 5, 2 are bio.

Like the others have said, your ANgel is out there. It's tough to be patient when our whole world & our happiness is all up to another. I don't know about you, but I have a hard time with not being in control of things, even my life.

Hang tight. You probably hate hearing this but it is sooooo true, when your little angel is in your arms, all this will make total sense to you!

Deb

[lovemine77]

2Dads,
I feel sad for you both, but I am sure that your dreams will come true and you will become parents, God has a plan for all of us, you just have to figure out what he has in store for you. I would have to agree on taking sometime to be sad, angry, upset, give yourselves some time to grieve. Also have you only looked at the option of adoption, have you thought about having a surrogate? Anyways just food for thought, good luck my prayers are with you both.

[loveajax]

2Dads, it is so very very tough to go thru this roller coaster. Not to sound like a pollyanna, but I have many friends who are adoptive parents and every single one of them feels that their children all were worth enduring the roller coaster ride (in fact, one of my DD's cutest pix is in a tee shirt that says, "I WAS WORTH THE WAIT!").

[bethy724]

2 dads-
So sorry for you losses - it is a loss when you are waiting for your child. Have you tried fostering to adopt? Hopefully CA is not as discriminatory & narrow minded as FL. TX is open to any loving families willing to open their homes to children in need. I am single & foster to adopted in Houston-the biggest blessing in my life.
Good luck - keep your heads up & best of luck when you are united with your child-he/she is out there-even if the road is longer than most.