[Leigh131313]

Seeing as November is National Adoption Month, this topic seems particularly relevant.

This is for ANY side of the triad.

What 3 things would you want others to know most about adoption?


1- I do not love my child any less because he is adopted
2- I am a REAL mom
3- Adoption is not an "easy way out" We have our own struggles and pain.

[dragonfly1234]

I want better education that adoption is okay-for the bfamily and aparents.

I love my child- doesn't matter if adopted or bio.

Adoption in not buying a child

[StorkWatcher]

Just going by the 3 most common questions we are asked when people find out we have adopted:

1. Yes, you can adopt quickly in the USA

2. Yes, there are healthy caucasian newborns available here

3. No, it doesn't necessarily cost more than giving birth to a child in a hospital

[kelceesmom]

1. We are just as scared as if we gave birth that we won't be good parents.

2. We are human and have feelings of frustration like other parents.

3. Don't assume anything about us, ask first.

[rjsmom]

1. That the bparents did not "give away" the child.

2. That adoption is the "easy" way to create your family

3. That the bfamily will not come snatch the child in the middle of the night

[Leigh131313]

rj

I think you may have mistyped...do you mean adoption is NOT the easy way to make your family?

[Vogi2002]

1. No, the love I have for my child is not less than the love you have for your biological child (nor any less strong of a bond).

2. No, I do not need to become pg to feel like my life is fulfilled.

3. Yes, birthparents love thier children and always will and that is OKAY!!!!!!!!

Natalie

[shy_bear]

I would tell people:

That I did NOT buy my children.

That their birthparents loved them and did not give them away.

That I love them as much as a parent who gave birth.

[bajj]

I would tell people that:

Birthparents DO WANT their children but feel it is best for the child to be placed for adoption.

That I am a parent and becoming one by adoption does not make me less of one.

I am not afraid of birthparents (I get asked frequently if I am afraid of my children's bparents).

[HappyTwinsMom]

1. That not all birthmothers are teenage, drug-using, high-school dropouts.

2. That we do NOT refer to the woman who gave life to our children as "the biological." (My FIL actually USED this term...grrrr!)

3. That adoption is NOT like a Lifetime movie and the birthparents aren't going to come back 5-10 years later and "get the baby back."

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by Leigh131313

Seeing as November is National Adoption Month, this topic seems particularly relevant.

This is for ANY side of the triad.

What 3 things would you want others to know most about adoption?


1- I do not love my child any less because he is adopted
2- I am a REAL mom
3- Adoption is not an "easy way out" We have our own struggles and pain.

1 - Luck has nothing to do with it as in "they are so lucky to have you"... it is struggle and pain on our part to be approved to be parents, to wait to be chosen and there is pain, real pain for all involved in an adoption placement.

2- Adoption is a parenting choice and that the expecting parents have a right to choose how they want their child parented. They may choose to be parents themselves when all is said and done. Or, they may choose adoption.

3 - Adoption is not a second best route for building a family.

[mom2justynsarah]

1. Adoption is not a fad, trendy or the "in" thing to do.

2. Adoption is not about saving orphans, babies, or children.

3. My daughter is not my adopted daughter. She is my daughter, the love of my life and my beautiful little girl.

[rjsmom]

Originally Posted by Leigh131313

rj

I think you may have mistyped...do you mean adoption is NOT the easy way to make your family?

Yes. Thank you. I was typing with DS's help.

[teranga]

1. It is not OK to ask me whether/where my child was "abandoned" or found (especially when he is standing right next to me!)

3. Adopting from Africa is not second-best (I was once asked why we weren't accepted for the China, or some other "first rate" international program, and "had" to adopt from Africa!! Ethiopia was our FIRST choice).

3. Please don't tell me what a great thing I've done. Yes, I did decide to adopt in part to parent a child who might otherwise not have had any, but no, it is not ultimately an altruistic thing I did. I kept this child for MYSELF, so that I could parent again, which was a very selfish act.

[tyiakoum]

1) That the process is long, arduous, and can be very invasive. That we are heavily screened in all areas, criminal, medical, physical, psychological. Our family dynamics are scrutinized as well.

2) That the pain and suffering we go through during the waiting period is so significant it is not for the faint of heart.

3) That all these things, above, make us stronger and prepare us to be the best advocates we can be for our children.