[mumofone]

HML 1976

I must have missed something. lol

There was definitely no offence taken. As adoptive parents, we get all kinds of nosey questions. Some people just assume that my children's parents must have been these horrible people to have placed their children. They placed out of love for their children, but people automatically assume the worst.

People are shocked that we have contact. Imagine, this is 2006, not 1956.

[akcskye]

That's because of adoptions like mine...from foster care, where it is best left, at least at this point in time, to have no contact with birth family whatsoever because of the damage it does to the children upon return of the contact.

Most people's limited knowledge of adoption comes, IMO, from the foster care/orphan side of the slate.

It's the most easily identifyable with (I mean, look at all the movies), and the most uneducated presentation of any of the adoption.

I wish the show Adoption Stories was on a non-cable channel. Even though it by no means encompasses all of the processes and emotions involved in adoption, it at least is an educative tool for those who care to know more.

Just my .02 as always haha

Originally Posted by mumofone

HML 1976

I must have missed something. lol

There was definitely no offence taken. As adoptive parents, we get all kinds of nosey questions. Some people just assume that my children's parents must have been these horrible people to have placed their children. They placed out of love for their children, but people automatically assume the worst.

People are shocked that we have contact. Imagine, this is 2006, not 1956.

[NJNative]

Here's my three things:

1. That children in a closed adoption can -- and do -- grow up healthy, well-adjusted and happy.

2. Not everyone who cannot get pregnant mourns it forever. Some of us moved on VERY happily.

3. Adoption is pretty normal. There's lots of adopted people around, including my son, four of my cousins and two of my grandparents (who are now deceased).

Robin

[treefroggy8]

1. that just because i have adopted does not mean i ever tried to get pregnant, it CAN be a FIRST choice.
2. that just because my children and i are not the same race does NOT mean they are adopted (there are interracial families too!) and seeing them does NOT give you the right to ask anything you want about them in FRONT of them.
3. that sending them back when i have a rough time is no more an option than any child in his/her birth family and is actually a rude thing to say.
4. i can't do 3 sorry! that now that i have two adopted children it isn't your right to ask if i am going to have a birth child now. one none of your business and two it isn't as though that is necessary but the thought of it would scare me b/c of what life would be like for my two children who i love as much as i could love any birth child.
i too could go on with these, this has been great for me to read to see that i am in fact not the only adoptive parent who has dealt with these things!

[rredhead]

Does anyone else ever feel like someone needs SO MUCH adoption education, it ain't even worth it?

Sadiegirl, I completely agree!

1. Like treefroggy8 said, adoption is NOT a second choice. Not all parents who adopt are infertile. Not all women want to be pregnant. And that's OK.

2. Adopting a child of a different race makes no difference in the amount that we love him, or that he loves us.

3. NO the birthparents CANNOT come and take him back!

That last one should be repeated as every third list item. *sigh*

Excellent thread!

-R