[shy_bear]

I have posted about our trials with trying to adopt through foster care. We went with a local county last Feb. We were supposedly official as of May 1. They screwed EVERYTHING up and come to find out most of our packet was not correct so we were never actually able to be placed. After many tears and conversations about how this could have happened we tried looking at privat agency's in our area. We would have to do everything all over again and some of the fee's IMO are ridiculous. So we what was salvagable of our packet sent to another county a couple of weeks ago. We are going to have to have our homestudy redone and there were some other key pieces missing. All the paperwork we needed to fill out was sent to us and we returned it within 2 days. I was told numerous times someone would be sent to our house to redo the homestudy and we should have no problems. That was almost 2 weeks ago.
I don't know how much more of this I can handle. I am upset, angry, and very frustrated. I keep thinking maybe we are not meant to have anymore kids. We were so blessed with out two girls and we had no problems with their placements. So when is enough enough? How do you know when it is time to walk away? I don't want to regret not having any more kids, but I don't want to drive myself into the mental institution either. Maybe I should get a puppy!!!!!

[redbonec]

HOw frustrating to find that out, especially after so long.
It sounds like you still want to adopt another child, so, when you are ready, keep moving forward, despite the current blocks. Sometimes so many things can interfere with our plans. Sending some encouragement your way...
P.S.--a puppy in addition to the family would be great as well! (And I don't mean instead of a child)

[Linny]

BELIEVE ME......dh and I have BTDT......MANY,.....MANY times. We adopted seven times (hoping to adopt an eighth baby)........and let me say, with the problems we had with the older adopted kids, there have been two times when finding another agency to deal with was possibly more than I thought we should have to do!!!!!

Combine this, with a couple of workers who were INCREDIBLY BIASED when we would not keep the dangerous kids in the home (verified by many psychiatrists, etc.)....or the idea (our first encounter with adoption agencies) that we wanted to adopt across racial lines! UNREAL!

Here's what we have had to think.....at those times:

If it is in your heart that you want to adopt.....if it is a driving force.....if you KNOW that you have done the right thing, that it's a matter of going through STUPID paperwork, and spending some more money (boy...do we KNOW that one)....then GO FOR IT!

The bottom line for us is this: God knows the right timing. Believe me, if we had stopped at adopting after the older child adoptions....we'd have been VERY bitter and disappointed in LIFE forever. Instead, we pursued and went back to infant adoptions. We have two pre-schoolers at home now...and they have been MORE blessing than I could EVER say! If we had been able to put in for a baby sooner or later than when we did---we would NEVER have known these precious babies of ours. Yet, here we are...despite a couple of ignorant, biased caseworkers, spending our savings account down to very little and nothing, and finding some incredibly INTELLIGENT caseworkers who were willing to listen and find the facts, instead of speculating what they THOUGHT.

Here we are...and they are here....and Life is SOOO good, that should we never get chosen again......we remain incredibly blessed. Do you see what I mean?

Hang in there. Follow your heart and soul. DO NOT look at man's ignorance, as the 'reason' for the reasons that 'maybe you should never have more children'.....because God works on His own time. (And yeah, I have problems with that too...because I'm NOT a patient person, okay?)

But, go for it, if it's only a matter of stupidity on the agency's part, and you truly feel this is what you want to do.....

My best to you. Feel free to pm me if I can be of any help, or a need to vent. ((HUG))

Sincerely,

Linny

[BethAF]

I used to be a social worker for a the state child protective service agency and I was a foster mother 5 years after I left that job.

Take it from me... Make copies of EVERYTHING. Anything you have to mail, mail it certified. Fax as much as possible and keep copies of the confirmation sheet. Also, email info to the agency and print copies of your emails and their responses.

It really stinks. But, people don't do their jobs now- a-days. The paperwork often gets lost or misplaced and everyone blames everyone else. It's enough to drive you absolutely crazy.

Whether you're going through a private agency or another state agency, let them know about your past problems with the other agency (losing your info and not completing it properly). You may also want to let them know that you'll be keeping copies of everything.

I was taught C.Y.A. (cover your a**) when I first went into Social Work. It has never failed me to this day. No one should have to do this, on top of everything else, but unfortunately that's the case.

Best of luck to you!!!

Beth