[Fran27]

Well we've been waiting for almost 6 months now... I know, it's not much compared to some of you here, but it's getting really hard We started the process 11 months ago, and it took forever to be 'in the books'.

I keep wanting to change our profile, but we don't have other pictures, and our profile is just so much like us. I can't help questionning everything though... Are there too many pictures of the dogs in it? I mean, they are on most pictures, but they are such a big part of our life, so I think it represents it well... Are we just too boring? We don't go out that much, and we don't have any activities outside work... Is it because I'm French or that I look too young, or that we met online?

Ugggh. It's just so hard to think that nobody out there thinks we would be good parents. I'm really trying to get my mind out of it, I got a new job so much better than my old one, I play Sims 2 like crazy at home to think about something else... but it doesn't seem to work. Or maybe it's just another winter and Christmas coming and still no baby...

Just having a very hard time

[Lovebug]

Fran - {{{Hugs}}} I think alot of us here know what you are feeling and exactly what you mean. We are waiting almost 5 mos and it is driving me nuts, too. Especially with our son, the process was 4 os total! I think we were spoiled!

Here if you need someone to talk to!

--Renee

[kelceesmom]

Fran, so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time right now. I think because the holidays are close it makes it a little harder for people. Dream about all the holidays to come though when your little one does come home forever with you. You can start making new traditions with your bundle of joy. It's nice to be able to come here too to say what is on your heart and minds because unless you go through what we do others really can't understand our feelings. Maybe you could find something outside the home to do for awhile. See if your parks and recs systems has a course you could take. Stay busy!!!!!! Good luck in your journey.

[Poohbear2003]

We have been waiting for 5.5 months and I hate the wait. I am "so" not a patient person and this certianly challenges me. Like you I constantly wonder how our profile looks and obsess if we need to change something somewhere.

Dh has to contantly reassure me things are good and everything is in order.

We waited only 6 months for our DD and we shown quite a few time by this point last time. So were were spoiled and picked quickly and had an instant placement for her.

This time we have been only shown once a long time ago in June and it drives me crazy that our file isn't being shown. Whether its the criteria we have or the fact they are just showing longer waiting couples I do not know. But it stresses me and makes it hard to cope knowing nothing is happening and we are just sitting here. I worry it will never happen.

We are so ready for another child. DD is 3.5 yrs and asks all the time for a sibling. And I am totally in a baby craze!!

Hugs to you I know how you feel.

Pooh
DD 3.5 yrs
Waiting for #2 with Domestic Agency since May '06

[HBV]

Maybe it's something about the 6 month mark. We only waited 9 months, but I remember feeling pretty blue at about 6 months in.

Hang in there.

[Persephone76]

I know how you feel. We first started thinking about adoption 4 years ago. We joined an agency, did our homestudy and all that good stuff. Then we waited...and waited...and waited. For a year, then we just stopped. We didn't update our homestudy.

We just kinda said, if it's what God wants, it will happen.

Here we are 4 years later, waiting again...this time hopefully a baby will be at the end of this wait.

It's hard to remember, but you have to wait for His time.

[tyiakoum]

Oh honey. it is gonna be ups and downs all over the place. get ready for the roller coaster. today i was so upset from our looooong wait... i didn't even go into teach, i played hookey and just stared at the wall and cleaned the house obsessively. And shut the door to the baby's room so I would not look at it when I was cleaning that wing of the house.

I pray your wait is a short one.

[mznia504]

Hugs to you because I'm sure that feeling of waiting is painful. I mean obviously your desire to parent is strong if you have decided to adopt, so your arms are longing to hold a baby of your own sooner rather than later. And of course its harder when you don't have a date on when you will get that baby ya know. Its like you wonder when the wait will ever end.

It is easy to begin to question your profile when it takes a while to be choosen, but what you did in your profile is be completely honest. You talked about your life as it is. You didn't amp it up to be something its not in order to catch the birthmothers eyes. Thats what a birthmom wants, honesty. And you will feel secure knowing that you can give the baby everything you said you would (does that make sense). So I don't think there is anything you need to question about your profile. If your dogs are a large part of our life, then they should very well be in several pictures

On a side note, I too am a die hard Sims 2 fan! Did you get the Sims 2 Pets yet?! It is awesome!!

[Vogi2002]

We have only been waiting 3 months so I can imagine I will be having a hard time at 6 months. We are like you, it took us 4 months to be "in the books" so actually we have been waiting 7 months all together.

I start thinking about our infertility and this just starts feeling like we are going through the whole "2ww" except it's lasting FOREVER!! BUT the good news is, the difference between the 2ww and this is that we ARE going to get good news at the end...it's just getting there that STINKS!!

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time, I myself am NOT looking forward to the holidays either...I hate going through them childless when I feel like my heart is half empty....but at the same time I am relying on the small amount of hope to get me through them...hope that some day (hopefully soon) I will get the honorable title of "Mom".

Natalie

[jjlutefisk]

We waited for a year with a small agency and then decided to switch after our update. 3 months later we just had a match fail today. I'm optimistic that it'll all work out in the end but it's just hard. Now I have a crib and clothes and toys to stare at every time I walk down the hall.

[solarscarlet]

Fran... I am sorry that you are having a hard time with the waiting. I can sympathize with you; as I am in the same boat as well.
We have also been waiting 6mos for a match. I have been emailing our agency once a month to get an update & of course, they keep telling me that our book is being shown but...we continue to wait & wait. I don't like the lose of control (having someone else make decisions about your family). I am trying to keep busy with numerous activities, but "my baby" is always in my mind. I start off being happy, anxious, & excited..but then my mind starts to wonder if it will ever happen. Even DH & DS are becoming impatient!!
Now, that we are at the 6mo mark..I think our SW & agency will start to get sick of hearing from me because I'll be calling all the time to get some news.
Anyway, I am here if you need to talk. Maybe we can support each other!!

Take Care,
Solarscarlet

[nikkianni]

Fran,

I think it is the holidays. It's the time of year when you think about family traditions, get togethers, etc. and get frustrated that you can't make your own yet.
We haven't been waiting very long yet, just two months, but I've already been through the same thing. Should I rewrite our letter? Take out pictures?
Hang in there and one day you'll get "the call" and the rest will seem like a bad dream. (At least that's what I hope)

[mumofone]

We were spoiled the first time around...only waited 3 months. However, we waited close to 5 years for our second. We are waiting yet again.

It isn't that your life is boring, any one of the things you mentioned might draw a potential birthmom to your profile. We are homebodies, and we don't go out much. Some expectant moms/dads might like that, and there may be a few that don't.

Good luck.

[Sophie7]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. It is so hard when you get close to Christmas and still don't have a baby. I know. We waited for 1 year to get "on the books." It took 5 months to do our homestudy and we've been on the books for 2 years 19 days. Grand total - 3 years 5 months 19 days. It stinks big time. Especially when you hear "Maybe next Christmas" every year from people who should know better and everyone else is having children all around you. Christmas is really, really hard and I hate it more every year. I just want to stay home and let it pass me by, but then people would think I'm all depressed (which I clearly am) and will want to cheer me up (which they clearly can't) with pithy quips like "Just be glad you're able to get a good night's sleep." Sorry I can't help you, I obviously can't even help myself. Sorry to bring you down too. I really should just delete this. Oh well. Wake me up on January 1st ok?

[ChitownTracy]

(((Fran)))
I understand, I was there last year at this time. We began waiting in June 05. Waiting no longer the time length is hard for something your heart yearns for....
Maybe you & DH could plan a Blow Off the Holiday's vacation...it was the best thing we did last year. Got out of dodge, blew off everyone and just enjoyed each other...at a SPA!!! (that certainly helped)
It was around this time last year that i also started question if adoption was going to be the way to build our family...*sigh* waiting just SUCKS!