[jjlutefisk]

Today we went to our agency to sign the papers to bring our new son home. We've been visiting him in host care for the last seven days. He is 14 months old. When we got there, the person we were talking to told us that his birthmother has disappeared and no one can find her. She wasn't home when the social worker went to pick her up for court this morning. So we couldn't bring him home today. She is 8 months pregnant so we're concerned that she might be in a hospital somewhere but we're just so worried about what is going to happen. Any advice??

[joskids]

I wish I had some for you that would lift you up. I can just say that I really do know how difficult this must be for you. What did the agency say about the next step? I'd be getting some answers about what you are to expect next until she is located. And please keep the rest of us posted. We're here to support you.

Josie

[Leigh131313]

Heartbreaking and scary. I have no advice but many cyber hugs.

Take care and keep us posted

[loveajax]

Gosh, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. What is a "host" family if you don't mind me asking -- is it a temporary foster care situation where the baby was placed pending the papers being signed by birth mom?

Sometimes agencies use private investigators to track down "missing" parents....can you ask yours to? Or are you adopting through the state? I am sure you were so excited for today....I hope everything works out OK for your family and for your son's birth mom.

[scdogs]

my heart goes out to you. Hang in there... Hugs!

[Linny]

For what it's worth.....many years ago, we had something similar with one of our babies. It took a couple of weeks, but the birthmother was found and she signed.

I'm praying that it all works out for you, her and the baby. ((((HUGS))))

Sincerely,

Linny

[traceyk]

Our b-mother gave birth and walked out and it took our agency a few days to find her and get her to sign. Good luck! Are you adopting the new baby too?

[StorkWatcher]

This is SUCH anxiety. When our son was born, his birthmom left the hospital before signing any papers (checked herself out against policy, too) and disappeared for a few hours. We had no idea what to think, except the worst!

As it turns out, she just needed to get away from the hospital and see a friend. She met up w/ the CW a few hours later, signed the papers, and everything was fine.

Try not to let your imagination run away with you! Hopefully, she'll let someone know where she is soon.

[bajj]

OK, just have to show my ignorance and maybe give you a big of a laugh. I was sitting here reading this thinking, "wow, that's 2 people I know of with the exact same story, one here and one in the transracial email group." Well duh! You're the same person!

Seriously, please keep us updated as you can and I am praying all is well.

[jjlutefisk]

We still don't have any news but I feel a lot better after reading all of your replies! I don't want to give up on this! I'll try to answer all your questions.

Our agency is a private agency but they do use private investigators. They have already used one in this case. "Host care" is just a fancy way of saying temporary foster care. We have been officially matched and I'm sure that the mom has signed some kind of papers because the baby has been in host care for two weeks. He was there for a week before they contacted us. They usually wait to tell the adoptive parents until they are sure the paperwork is going to go through and a court date is set.

The baby that the birthmom is pregnant with is not available for adopion, only the little boy that we are hoping for.

I appreciate hearing about other people's stories because it really does help a lot!

It is funny to find the same people on different lists! Thanks!

[jjlutefisk]

The caseworker found her! Wheew! She was in the hospital! They are going to reschedule and we're just waiting to hear back from the court about when it is. She was sick but she's ok now. I'm so relieved that she's safe! Thanks for all the good wishes!

[loveajax]

Oh, great news! I'm glad she is OK! Good luck!

[bajj]

I am so glad she was found and that she's better now, too!

Thanks for the update!

[kelceesmom]

Glad to hear things are looking up for you. Hopefully it will progress soon.

[jjlutefisk]

Well, we got the call that every matched family dreads. She changed her mind. We were blindsided. We were all set to go for our signing again tomorrow. I had just talked to the worker about making plans for tomorrow when she called me back. I am very sad right now. We have spent two weeks bonding with him. We have completely rearranged our entire house. I just hope that when he goes back to his birthmother that he is safe and loved.