[OregonCoast]

Hi Everyone:
Is it normal to be really excited one minute, full of anticipation with the thought of adopting and then have a panic attack? I keep telling myself it's the same emotions that an expectant mother goes through.

[kelceesmom]

Oh you bet ya!! I think part of it is because you could potentially have no time to prepare and that makes me a little nervous. Plus just the waiting itself. All the what ifs come out. Good luck in your journey.

[Lilly's Mommy]

I second the ABSOLUTELY!!!!

The process (I think) is even more anxiety producing than a pregnancy. For all of you hopes and dreams, you have to also face (yet somehow not get overly discouraged by) the potential for loss. It's a fine line on which I often was on one side or the other.

I found that I so wanted to be excited, and was completely entitled to be, so when I felt that way I just let myself enjoy it. When the anxious feelings came, the excitement would wane, and I'd have to walk on that road for a while. There's no rhyme or reason, it's a roller coaster ride for sure!

Best luck to you!

[StorkWatcher]

Oh YES. So normal. And sometimes still, I get those feelings as a mom!

But during the wait, I felt like Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde! It's so thrilling, yet so frustrating and scary! Gee. Something like a haunted house, to borrow a theme from the upcoming "holiday".

Welcome to the wild ride of adoption. You're not alone!

[OregonCoast]

I was afraid these back and forth feelings were because we are hoping to adopt an older child, between 6 & 9. They will be joining our 10 yo, so I think I have a few worries about how that will go. The anticipation definately is outshining the panic and our son keeps eagerly asking WHEN!

[StorkWatcher]

Well, you do have compounded worries with kids already. I know how hard it was just thinking about bringing the first child into the house. Now when I even think about whether or not we should try to adopt #2, I have many different things to think about, considering how it affects not just the parents, but also the sibling! And I know others on here have practical experience with that.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

I agree with the fact that it is about as emotional as pregnancy must be! It was up one minute, down the other...back and forth...am I doing the right thing? As I look back now, i wouldn't change a thing!!

[rsbg]

I am sooooo glad you did this post.... we are in the process (halfway through our PRIDE classes), and one day I am "gung ho", the next I am wondering if I am doing the right thing (especially the day after one of our classes). Thank you for asking the question that I've wanted to ask for a while!!!!

[Linny]

I think the up and down is sooo normal. I, too, am glad you posted this! I know I felt this way when our marriage was approaching; and I suspect this is common with any major change in our lives, you know?

What I have found more confusing and sometimes upsetting as well, is when we KNEW we were getting a specific situation, and hours later after we had screamed for joy and excitement....I found myself quietly scared to death for the changes the new baby would bring!!!!!
I found myself feeling even guilty to the other kids, because I knew our relationship with them would never be quite the same way. Note: The relationship stayed wonderful.....but when you have more than one, it IS different in some ways. The younger babies aren't the youngest anymore---because there's a wee one coming into the picture---and we've adopted a lot of times.

Still.....the attitudes and feelings can be really confusing, I think. If I were to put just one word on them, it would probably be 'scared'. And, I suppose, not fully knowing the future, can be that way at times. When we were notified about our first baby we were incredibly elated. But, that night, or right thereafter one night, I found myself crying my eyes out about it!!!!!!
Why???? I sobbed to my dh: "Do you realize what we've done here? (We'd been married for three years previous to this.) We're bringing home this baby girl, and we'll worry about her for the rest of our lives!!!!!!!"

Again, good question and discussion!

Sincerely,

Linny