[scdogs]

Hi everyone
We are scheduled to have a phone conference with a pmom. Any suggestions? Words of wisdom? Things to say and not to say? Help! I'm really nervous!
Thanks!

[kelceesmom]

First congratulations! It is very nerve racking to make that phone call. I wrote down questions to ask our bmom. You want to make it about her and also take her lead.

I asked such things as:
1. How old was she
2. Where was she born
3. What did she like to do in her spare time
4. Her favorite food, color, etc.

After talking for a few minutes it got a little easier. I just let her tell me what she wanted. I was lucky because she brought up the pregnancy and how it happened which opened the door to ask simple questions about it. Good luck in your journey.

[poullafouca]

All the above sounds good, ask her how she's doing, I would also tell her that you are nervous: after all few of us, adoptive parents and women who place their children for adoption, grew up planning that this was they way things were going to go down. She will be nervous too, and probably has questions for you, that she may well be getting all mixed up about, the same as you are.
I wish you luck, I really hope everything turns out well for you.

Poulla

[mom2justynsarah]

I would talk about things like where she grew up, what is the weather like, what are her favorite colors, seasons, foods etc. What are some of her hobbies? What was her best subject in school, her favorite sports etc. I think you get the picture.

I would say the main thing is to get the point across that you ARE GENUINELY interested in her (and not just the baby).

Also, if you are nervous, let her know.I guarantee she feels the same way! It would be good to laugh about to let out some of the anxiety. If this baby is meant to be yours, it will be. Please keep the faith!