[2manyks]

i am wondering for those who have kid(s) already, did you/are you planning on taking them to get the new baby/child. we are going to be in the delivery room for our next adoption. i can't imagine having my kids with me there in the delivery room, but they would love to meet the new baby right away. but we will be traveling out of town to get our baby and so for us it's an all or nothing kind of thing. i would love to hear you stories of how you introduced your new baby to your bigger babies!

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by 2manyks

i am wondering for those who have kid(s) already, did you/are you planning on taking them to get the new baby/child. we are going to be in the delivery room for our next adoption. i can't imagine having my kids with me there in the delivery room, but they would love to meet the new baby right away. but we will be traveling out of town to get our baby and so for us it's an all or nothing kind of thing. i would love to hear you stories of how you introduced your new baby to your bigger babies!

DD (2 1/2) traveled with us to both the meeting with the expecting parents before DS was born and the birth. THis was at the request of our son's first parents. They wanted to meet her too. I was very thankful for this as I could not imagine going away (we traveled six hours) and then coming home with a babe without DD being involved.

We had arranged for me to be in the delivery room and for DH to be with DD during delivery. We didn't get there in time but she was present when we first met DS in the hospital. She stayed with DH in the hotel that first night when I stayed with DS and his birthmom (again, at her request). It wasn't easy but it is what worked for us.

I would have never had her in the delivery room during the birth. But it was wonderful for her to be there with us.

[loveajax]

2ManyKs, I think this is something that really the birth mom should decide, so can you chat with her about it? I don't know if the baby will be staying with the birth mom in her hospital room...it that were the case, the birth mom may feel a little overwhelmed if you brought your other kids in? But maybe she wants to meet them too? Good luck. I was wondering myself how I would deal with DD if we adopt again (esp. if it is out of state).

[lisa in venice]

With our third adoption which was th only one where we were able to be at the hospital we took the kids. We did call my SIL to meet us there so that we made sure there was a non preoccupied adult there. We shouldn't have worried because there was a party going on in the waiting room. It was full of "A's" friends and coworkers and they all made us feel at home. The kids spent the day being given treats and watching Cartoon Network (we don't have cable at home) the tons of adults who couldn't get enough of entertaining them. It would have been much harder if we had been alone.

lisa

[lauramom]

We recently adopted our daughter out of state (a 6 hour drive away), and brought our 3 year old daughter with us. I went to the hospital to be there for the birth, while my husband and daughter stayed in a nearby hotel. The next morning, my parents drove down and spent the day with our 3 year old so both my husband and I could spend time with the birthparents and the baby at the hospital. Later that day, we brought my 3 year old to see the baby, and the next day the baby was released to us. Since we had to stay in state for the ICPC to clear (approx. 5 days), my parents stayed with us and were a HUGE help during that first week at the hotel!!
I couldn't have imagined the whole experience without my daughter sharing it with us, and although it was tricky at times, it was all the more special with her there.

[SchmennaLeigh]

I wouldn't have allowed J&D's other children at the hospital had they asked. That was my preference. (They didn't ask.) I didn't feel like being on show for more than the necessary people.

[taramayrn]

Thanks for reminding me Jenna...J and S asked if J's parents and their 4 year old daughter could come to the hospital to visit with the baby. I said no. That was my time, not theirs. They understood.

[billysmommy]

We did bring our then 3 year old son with us to the hospital - but our situation is a bit different. Our daughter was being born to our son's first mom, and it was important to all of us. Her parents and grandparents were there, as well as her older son, so it was a great opportunity for them to spend time together.

[traceyk]

Drihan was already born and TPR signed when we picked her up and never met "F" but we did leave our two teens back here in CT while we traveled to TX. We knew we would be there for a week and with her being preemie we wanted this time to just get to know her. We also knew the other two would be bored with just staying at the hotel. However, we sent tons of pictures and kept the IM up all the time with DH's laptop so they could chat with us on a whim or get a new pic if they wanted one. They were so anxious to meet her and then when we got home they were afraid to hold her because she was much smaller than they thought she would be *LOL*

[Oliver1]

We did not bring our 4 year old to the hospital. We wanted to focus solely on the mother and the baby's wants and needs at that sensitive and emotional time. Although we really wanted our son there with us, we felt it was better to introduce him to his sister once all the necessary paperwork, waiting, and legal stuff was out of the way. He would have been pretty bored and restless at the hospital anyway.

Once we were cleared to move to a hotel with our baby girl, I flew back home and brought our son back to finish out the ICPC wait with us. That way, he was able to meet his sister privately, quietly, and on our terms and we had a few days to focus solely on the birthmother, the baby, her family, and her needs too.

[Linny]

Our baby was already born and birthmom had chosen us. Even so, we did not take our children to the hospital to pick up the baby. I knew I wanted to speak with birthmom (which we did) and didn't want other children running around.

I agree that bringing other children along, could cause a lot of pressure to the birthfamily; I also think it could cause more problems for the existing children in the adoptive family. (Of course, there are exceptions, and I can understand some of them that have already been posted here.)

But, for us, we knew that the signature from the birthparents was still a few days away. I told our other children that having this new baby was 'not a sure thing, and to remember that the birthmother might change her mind, in which case, we would just be watching this baby for a few days'.

There's enough emotional stuff going on while waiting for final decisions (on all sides). I think it could be more detrimental on existing children, should the birthfamily change their minds--if the child/ren were allowed to come to the hospital too. JMO

Sincerely,

Linny

[sanielsen]

In addition to the great advice you've gotten already, find out what the hospital's policies are...depending on the age of your children, it might be an issue.

Good luck!

[Mommy24]

My bsons parents did bring their daughter, It was very nice to see how happy she was about being able to have a little brother, she was 3 almost 4. She was very grown up, I was crying and she came over and looked at me and said "I am adopted too"

[taramayrn]

I feel like I should clarify that I had known J and S, their daughter and J's parents for a month before the baby was born and we have a super open adoption.