[mom2samuel]

I cruised over here from the failed and contested forum (we had two separate failed adoptions in the spring). We have been officially waiting for over two years and are losing hope. (We are working with an agency for a newborn open adoption). I feel nuts. We are very open in our profile, and I just don't know what the problem is. We have watched couple after couple adopt before us, and, not that we aren't happy for them, but it is very hard. We have a 5 yr old son from Guatemala who is dying to be a big brother. Has anyone been in this situation?

Michelle

[srusse24]

I have not been in your situation, but if you are "open", as you say you are, you should have been matched fairly quickly. Have you considered switching agencies?

[txdragonfly]

I'm sorry it's taking so long...I'd be frustrated too! Have you considered an Independent adoption? They usually happen in a year or less. Just wondering.

[Leigh131313]

We had a long wait with our first (3 1/2 yrs). We were matched quickly, and when that fell through were matched AGAIN quickly.

I firmly believe things happen when they are supposed to, it's the only thing that saw me through.

I would not trade my son for a child that would have come quicker.


You WILL get through this. If you stick with it, it's not a matter of IF but WHEN it will happen.

Hugs to you!!

[bajj]

I am very sorry you're having a hard time waiting.

I don't have any words of wisdom, just offering a great big hug!

(((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))

[joskids]

Michelle, I know how frustrated you must feel but think of it this way . . . if you give up now, it CANNOT happen. I worked for an agency and can't tell you the number of times I heard adoptive couples want to give up and just a couple of weeks later they had their child. Stay busy. Rely on your friends. Don't give up. If possible, maybe you could get your homestudy out to other agencies to speed things along? Hope my words helped. I know how difficult some days can get.

Josie

[randloar]

I am so sorry for your losses and your long wait. It can be a frustratingly painful process. But try to keep sight of what you are going through this for, your child, and it will happen, just hang in there!!! Keep posting for support, and see that you are not alone, there are others that have endured the losses you have with your referrals (we have only lost photo-referrals, but I can say that hurts too in its own special way).

At the point where I was about to give up a few months ago, I randomly got a phone call for a situation we had never anticipated....that situation didn't work out after all, but it did work in the sense that it reminded me that our path to our child may not be the route we see in front of us, and that we may have to think a bit creatively, and put ourselves out there in different ways or to a different region. With that thought, have you considered using one of the online profile agencies to display your families story and maybe have access to more potential moms? Just throwing that out there!!

[loveajax]

Mom, when I was getting very antsy with my agency, I signed up with a facilitator and an agency...neither of them required upfront fees. The second I did that, I was able to put a lot more "balls in the air." Within a matter of a month or so, my original agency matched us with our DD. The next day, I got "matched" with two other situations (geez!) before I was able to notify the agency of our match. So is this a possibility for you? You can PM me if you like and I can give you the names of the agencies. GOOD LUCK!