[sak9645]

Adoption-sensitive teachers do not give family tree assignments any more. However, if your school's teachers do, there are a lot of creative options.

I love the family circle. But there are lots of ways to honor both the birth family and the adoptive family.

Some kids do two trees that grow together. So the bio family is one tree and the adoptive family is another tree, but they join together at the point where the child is.

Even though my daughter's birthparents are unknown -- she comes from China, where abandonment is often the only way to make an adoption plan -- I would not want to exclude them from a family tree.

Sharon

[allanacw]

My daughter is in grade 2 and had to do two seperate projects last year that talked about either family structure or genetics. The school called about the genetics project ahead of time to discuss it with me because they know she is adopted and wanted to know how they could accomodate it. For the family structure project I contacted the teacher to let her know dd's project would look different, and that I hoped that adoption, foster care, and the many, many other ways a family can come together were part of the unit.

In both cases I discussed it with dd and let her dictate how much she wanted to share, if anything. The genetics project was really cool because it also gave us the opportunity to talk about her being biracial and show it visually. Because we don't know much about her bfather, we used magazine cutouts for both bparents.

This year a project about ancestors has already come home. It asks questions about where your family is from before Canada and what traditions you celebrate. When discussing it with dd she has decided to put my husband's Polish background into the project.

Allowing her to dictate what is shared vs. what is not has been really successful. With both projects she was quite comfortable discussing her adoption and time in foster care and thought showing people a photo of her and her bmom was great.

Allana

[bajj]

I like Jenna's examples. I was going to say (didn't have a diagram) that I have seen the birthfamily listed in the roots. Now, I am wondering, do you name them by name? Could that be considered an invasion of privacy? I guess I should ask bmom if this ever comes up, huh?

Jenna, where did you get that diagram? I'd love to get a copy of it.

[bajj]

Originally Posted by allanacw

My daughter is in grade 2 and had to do two seperate projects last year that talked about either family structure or genetics. The school called about the genetics project ahead of time to discuss it with me because they know she is adopted and wanted to know how they could accomodate it. For the family structure project I contacted the teacher to let her know dd's project would look different, and that I hoped that adoption, foster care, and the many, many other ways a family can come together were part of the unit.

In both cases I discussed it with dd and let her dictate how much she wanted to share, if anything. The genetics project was really cool because it also gave us the opportunity to talk about her being biracial and show it visually. Because we don't know much about her bfather, we used magazine cutouts for both bparents.

This year a project about ancestors has already come home. It asks questions about where your family is from before Canada and what traditions you celebrate. When discussing it with dd she has decided to put my husband's Polish background into the project.

Allowing her to dictate what is shared vs. what is not has been really successful. With both projects she was quite comfortable discussing her adoption and time in foster care and thought showing people a photo of her and her bmom was great.

Allana

Thanks for sharing!

[SchmennaLeigh]

Bajj; I'll PM you the link.

As for the privacy issue, I assume that would vary from adoption to adoption. I, personally, wouldn't mind being named and Munchkin's firstfather has gotten to a point where he wouldn't either. I'm sure that's not always the case in every family.

[polkadotghost]

Jenna, that tree idea is brilliant!!!! I've been wondering how to work it!!!!

[ajjhmf]

I love the tree one. That's what we did on J's life book. His birth and foster families are his roots, with us as the branches.

Kids are funny and as they grow they go through different phases when it comes to adoption. We've always been very open with J about his past. Adoption is not a secret, nor a bad thing here. Yet, J is going through a phase since his brother's birth where he doesn't share or talk about his adoption. He's been pretending that he was born to us. He had a rough early life and we talk a bit about how things would have been different had he been born to us. But we always end with "But you wouldn't be J if you had been from Mommy's tummy. And we love J just the way he is."

I know that this will pass and someday he'll be screaming that I'm not his 'real' mom (just like I know H or M may someday wish they'd been adopted and had better parents out there somewhere, lol).

Anyway, what I'm saying is when it comes to school projects, let you child take the lead. Kids are funny andmay be comfortable with something one day, but not wish to share it the next.

Blessings,
Jenny

[AMANDASMOM]

In fifth grade, when my AD had to do a timeline of her life from birth to the present, we decided to invent all the events and dates. We laughed all night as we decided all of her milestones. I emailed her teacher and told her not to ask my AD for any specifics because we had made up all the facts. The teacher had never considered that it would be a difficult project for an adopted chid. It was an eye opener for her.

The funny thing was the next morning my AD came downstairs and said, "Mom, what was my first word again?" I looked at the timeline and told her, "Doggie," and we started to laugh again.

[Sniffles]

I remember the family tree project I had to do. I used my adoptive family. There never, at that time, was any thoughts as to which family to use. I love the tree and that gave me a great idea for the geneology I am working on now.

I had a real big problem with the genetic project for biology in HS. We had next to nothing on my birthparents and I tried to explain to my teacher that I was adopted and could not do the whole project. She thought I was lying and told me if I did not do it I would get a failing grade. I want home and told my parents. I went to school the next day with my adoption papers for my teacher and my parents called the principal. When I got to class and showed her the papers she apologized and said she had already been informed. I only had to do part of the project and we recieved a written apology from the teacher.

[kakuehl]

As I read through this thread I'm reminded of how many fruit trees are grown. The root of a peach tree for example usually is a variety of peach tree that is very hardy; the part of the tree that branches and bears fruit is from a different variety that is grafted into the root stock. The peaches that we enjoy would not be possible without either one.

As you can tell, I like the tree diagram. As a birth mom, I like the idea of being the root (without which the tree would fall over!). Since the root system expands as well, there's plenty of room to include his birth family going back for generations!