[shy_bear]

We have two of the most wonderful children in the world. We were blessed to adopt them quickly with no complications. We had embarked earlier this year to adopt through foster care; long story short it was a living nightmare that resulted in us going to the state to file a complaint. Since then I have been slowly researching private agency's. Here lately my heart is just not into it. I am so busy with the girls, we do cheer, swim, and girl scouts, so I am out of the house every night of the week plus I just got a part time job. I like my life right now, but on the other hand I don't want to wake up 5 or 10 years from now and wish we had moved forward with having more kids. My oldest is 8 and I also don't know how I feel about having a newborn when she is 11 or 12 years old. So for those of you who have had more than 2 what was your mind set? Did anyone wait YEARS in between kids? Hubby and I are young; we were placed with M when we were 22 so I know our age won't be an issue in the future. I also hear that since we already have two our wait time could be a lot longer.

[lisa in venice]

There is 7.5 years between our #2 and our #3. In those years we did just what you are doing, living as a family. In my heart I knew I was not done but I didn't have it in me to do another adoption. We also spent several years TTCing during that time and that makes you TIRED. When our 2nd IVF failed I started just asking around about private adoption (the others had been foster/adopt) In that inquiry process I stumbled onto an adoption situation that was perfect and we adopted our Sammy and our family grew to include his birthfamily. The minute he was home I was sure I wanted one more but having three kids and my first newborn who was exclusively breastfed and co-sleeping meant that I just didn't have the band width to think about #4. Sam Weaned just after his 3rd birthday and I began to explore our adoption options again Within six months I was ready and by his 4th birthday we were matched. Miranda was born two weeks later. I think adoption is too hard to do uness you are emotionally prepared. I would have liked my kids closer together and if they had benn biological they probably would have been but I honestly could not have done it anyother way. Oh yeah there is the whole money part too. It takes awhile to build up the reserves to do private adoptions.

lisa

[rtsmom]

Our first two (bio) kids are 26 months apart. Then a 9 year split before our first (adoptive) son came to us. Then another 5 years before our second (unplanned) adoption. I thought we were done after baby #3, but found out we weren't when sw's phoned us out of the blue about #4 (we were not waiting to adopt and they processed a quickie homestudy update on us).

We don't mind the big age splits at all. Our two eldest are on the verge of starting their adult lives, away from us, and our two youngest both have special needs and will be dependent on us for the rest of our lives, so no empty nest issues around here. :-)

Janet

[WLD]

There is 7 years between my first daughter and second daughter, both bios, and then 11 years between second daughter and ason. Love the age difference. the girls are great help and son loves them doting on him

[ourdreamcametru]

We have two bio sons who were 10 and 14 when we adopted our daughter. Now two years later life is great with a 16 year old, a 12 year old and a 2 year old. We love the age difference. We feel like each of our children got to be the "baby" before adding another child to the mix. We have gotten to enjoy each and every age and milestone with each of them and now our boys are a wonderful help with their sister. Go with your heart and what you feel is right for your family. My husband and I were 23 when our first son was born, 27 with the next and 37 when we adopted our daughter.

[jillned]

I have been having similar thoughts. Our children are only 21 months and 7 months and we adopted both of them as newborns. We are very blessed and sometimes I think to myself that life is perfect just the way it is. Then there are times when I think about doing this all again. I feel the only way we would adopt again is to have a "surprise" baby. Our agency is small so this might be a possibilty. To purposely set forth to adopt again seems exhausting to me just to think about it. At any rate, we want to wait a couple years.