[Persephone76]

We're looking into doing a private adoption through an attorney. I was just reading on here that we might want to also get another attorney for the pbmom?

How many do this? Is this something we need to do?

[BrandyHagz]

Adoption is the ONLY type of law that doesn't require individual representation for the parties involved - so while it’s not something you HAVE to do - it absolutely is something you NEED to do in order to make sure that her rights are represented to the fullest extent.

The cost involved in this practice is much cheaper than the cost involved in defending yourself against charges that could come up if you don’t.

[NJNative]

We also hired a separate attorney for the birthmother in our son's adoption. It wasn't very expensive and that way we were sure everything was above-board.

[HBV]

Although we went through an agency, we did actually hire a separate attorney for H's bmom as an individual. She has some special circumstances that required her own parents to be made legal guardians (she was no longer a minor.) We paid for it, but felt it was important that she and her family had representation that wasn't aligned with the agency or with our lawyer. So we had the agency lawyer, our own lawyer and hers.

Were we obligated to do it? No, but I thought it was the right thing to do in the long run. I wanted to be sure the adoption was processed properly, that bmom was fully aware of her rights, and that all of the special issues in our case were taken care of.

[Persephone76]

Thanks to everyone who posted. We are meeting with the pbmom today (I hope, no word back yet). Sounds like it's a good idea to have one for her.

[DebCsMom]

With all three of our adoptions we had separate representation for our children's Birth Moms. To make sure there was NO CHANCE for any problems or mistakes. It wasn't that expensive to do. A retainer fee was all we had for one of them. The other one went slightly over & the other went quite abit over but only because he, the BMom's attorney, didn't know what he was doing & our atorney had to tell him what to do!

Deb

[Papa D]

First, like others said, become familiar with what the state law requires in the state where you hope to finalize the adoption (especially if it's a different state from where you live).

In our case, the birth mom had a guardian ad litem, who technically represents the unborn child's interests at the court hearing. She was offered her own attorney, but it was not mandatory for her to have one.

[merrill1277]

Originally Posted by BrandyHagz

Adoption is the ONLY type of law that doesn't require individual representation for the parties involved -

How appalling, but sadly not surprising.

edited to add: I didn't have individual representation, but didn't know (even now) that adoption law is the ONLY type of law that doesn't require it.

[ourdreamcametru]

We were not required to pay for an attorney for Castle's birthmother but felt that it was worth the extra $150 or so just to know that IF she had any questions or problems she could talk to her own attorney and not feel like we were the only one's with an attorney. We NEVER felt like it was something that we HAD to do but something that we WANTED to do for her! The only time she/we ever saw him was at the court date 5 days after birth for a matter of 10 minutes at the most

[taramayrn]

We were not required to pay for an attorney for Castle's birthmother but felt that it was worth the extra $150 or so just to know that IF she had any questions or problems she could talk to her own attorney and not feel like we were the only one's with an attorney.

I wish more prospective adoptive parents saw it this way.

[Persephone76]

We talked the the pbmom today and let her know that we would get our lawyers partener for her if we can.

She liked that idea.

[merrill1277]

I still see a conflict of interest if the paparents are paying for the pbmoms lawyer. I don't think that ensures truly independent legal representation for her and certainly doesn't ensure that she will receive all the information she really needs to know. She'd be better off with an advocate or someone who can really educate her about her rights through the whole process, and provide all the important information she should know before proceeding. Sorry but no way would I trust a lawyer being paid for by the other party, to do all this.

[ChristieS]

Originally Posted by Persephone76

We talked the the pbmom today and let her know that we would get our lawyers partener for her if we can.

She liked that idea.

We had to make sure the bmom had legal representation and we were going to have paid her expenses except the birthmom got placed in juvy and sa a ward of the state received free legal aid.

I strongly caution against hiring an attorney for her that is partnered with your attorney - or has conflicting legal positions. I can see where this may cause you trouble down the road.

I don't know if your state requires legal representation for the birthmom but I would not try to adopt without her having her own lawyer - separate and apart from yours.

Good luck!!!!!!!!

[HBV]

Two things: First, adoptive parents paying for a separate lawyer is not a conflict. The lawyer is bound by ethical rules to represent the CLIENT, not the person who pays the lawyer's bill. Those can be, and often are, two entirely different parties. Attorneys can be disbarred or disciplined for failing to abide by those rules. You may make an agreement w/ bmom and/or her attorney to pay her bill up to a certain amount (or in its entirety) but the lawyer owes the duty to bmom, not you.

Second, having a partner in your lawyer's firm represent birthmother IS a potential conflict. The interests of the parties are not necessarily aligned here, and you are the client of the firm as a whole, not just one of its attorneys. The firm/partner probably wouldn't even agree to represent bmom. If the goal is for her to have independent unbiased representation to make sure she has her questions answered, you'll want to seek it from another firm.

What many of us who've posted that we hired separate representation for bmom had in mind (at least I think this is the case) is for a bmom to fully understand her rights and the process involved.

Now, I personally would draw the line at paying bmom's bills if it turned into a contested matter---what would be the point of me paying her lawyer to fight with mine? So, you may want to consider an agreed upon amount for a retainer to make sure that the bmom receives an unbiased explanation and full information about her rights. If the situation changes you aren't (in my opinion) obligated to pay her attorney further.