[friends4ever]

I agree with you. its more ethical

[rastachris]

Hmmm...We are in California and doing an independent adoption. We were not told that we had to hire a separate attorney for our birth mother, but we are required to pay for an Adoption Service Provider who meets with the birth parents to discuss their rights, the process, etc. The ASP is not an attorney, but, in our case, and LSCW. THe ASP meets with her once before the birth, and once again after the birth.

[Leigh131313]

ahh ok. I wasn't sure what all you inluded in "everything is free"

I think here....there is no law, it's strictly agency policy. As an adoptive parent, I agree to their policy when I sign up.

[stillwaiting]

Originally Posted by merrill1277

I still see a conflict of interest if the paparents are paying for the pbmoms lawyer. I don't think that ensures truly independent legal representation for her and certainly doesn't ensure that she will receive all the information she really needs to know.

We paid for our son's birthmother's attorney. The attorney’s office was on the other side of town and we NEVER met, spoke to, or discussed our case with her attorney. Oh. Also, when we paid her - everything went through our attorney. He mailed us her invoice and he mailed her our check.

She knew nothing about us and we knew nothing about her. Only she and our attorney talked.

In our state the birthmother must have separate legal representation. However, the laws need to be changed to add at least 1 year or counseling (at aparents expense). Looking back I wish we would have offered to pay for some counseling for our son's birthmother. I think it would have helped her.

[lisa in venice]

Originally Posted by rastachris

Hmmm...We are in California and doing an independent adoption. We were not told that we had to hire a separate attorney for our birth mother, but we are required to pay for an Adoption Service Provider who meets with the birth parents to discuss their rights, the process, etc. The ASP is not an attorney, but, in our case, and LSCW. THe ASP meets with her once before the birth, and once again after the birth.

That is true. The state only requires that birth parents have "representation" and adoptive parents are only responsible for $500 of that representation. That is where ASPs stepped in to fill the void. Having paid for both an ASP AND paid an Attorney literally 5x as much I didn't see much of a difference in service. Both spend hours going over the documents, not once but twice, both followed up with birth father stuff, both found parenting and counseling resources, both interviewed us on behalf of the birth family and dealt with the ICWA since both birth moms had ties to Oklahoma. The only thing we got with the Attorney was that she went to court with the birth mom and there was no court apperance required here in CA so the ASP never had to take a day to do that.

lisa

[friends4ever]

free to birthmoms include counseling,living expenses in some states, legal and medical only if legal in that state

[Leigh131313]

Hmm...From my understanding; While it is legal to accept living expenses (or pay as an aparent)in some states, it is not a legal right that a pbmom get's living expenses. That is worked out between all the parties.

I think anyway...

[BrandyHagz]

I wonder, if like in the case of Julie, you can get living expenses for the entire pregnancy, which from what I understand, has spanned liked 4-5 years...

...things that make you go hmmmm

[friends4ever]

It don't mean you will get living expenses but it's legal to get them

[patti Daniels]

We hired one attorney. We never considered hiring two. Is this new? I think the adoption agency had an attorney, but I am not positive.

[lisa in venice]

Here if you use an agency it is assumed that birth aprents automatically have representation (rightly or wrongly) but if you hire your own Attorney s/he can n ot represent both sides and must disclose the s/he is OUR advocate. Birth parents have to have their own advocate and if an agency is not involved you have to pay up to $500 of the cost of their representation. In OH there was no limit on what you have t pay for birth parent represntation so we paid her Attorney as much as we paid ours. Now in all honesty her Attorney provided MUCH better service and was there for her for weeks finding resources, helping to find counseling and job training and all kinds of stuff. BTW we paid her fee BEFORE relinquishment so she had no incentive to encourage placement only to serve her client and that's how I think it should be.

lisa

[friends4ever]

the two attorneys is to protect both sides

[BrandyHagz]

Still I'm wondering about Julie and her expenses...maybe she will answer...Julie?

[stillwaiting]

Originally Posted by BrandyHagz

I wonder, if like in the case of Julie, you can get living expenses for the entire pregnancy, which from what I understand, has spanned liked 4-5 years...

...things that make you go hmmmm

You know there was a lady "scumbag" on Dateline receintly that was expecting and NEVER intended to place her child and she really scammed several padoptive parents out of a lot of money. She should have gone to prison for what she did. (There are threads here about her if you are not sure what I am refering to)

There are a lot of Juli....I mean scammers in the adoption world so if your gut is telling you something is wrong slow down and check it out. You could save yourself thousands of dollars.

That being said. There are a lot of good ladies who need their expenses paid for as well. Just be carefull.