[KristineM]

I know that our daughters birthmom has a MySpace page. I have let her know that I have visitied it. To date she has not really been very involved in our daughters life, off and on asking how she is doing, that is about it. I just visited her MySpace page yesterday and saw that she has pictures that I have sent her of our daughter on her site. She does not say who the little girl is, but just makes comments like "Where does she get her good looks?", "The most beautiful girl in the world( and then says our daughters name)". I know that she can do whatever she wants with the pictures after I give them to her. I was just wondering how you would feel. (The only pictures we have of our daughter on the internet is a site that is password protected)

So - what do you think?

[dmca]

Well, honey, there's nothing you can do. I understand your anger about it. Seems like an invasion of privacy to you. How does your child feel about it?
I don't think you should keep this a secret from your child. Teens are darn handy with computers and LOTS of them are using MySpace. Better to talk to your child now, before she sees them with no warning,in my humble opinion.
Have you talked to her about this? About how you feel it's invasion of your and your daughters privacy? Perhaps she didn't think of that.
Best thing to do, ( just my opinion remember) is ADULTS talk first and then DON'T neglect to talk to your daughter about this.
dmca

[KristineM]

It does seem kind of strange to see our daughter on that site. I feel like maybe she should have asked permission before she just posted the picutres up there for everyone to see.

Well, my daughter is only 2. So, no I have not told her about that. Good idea though.

[NJNative]

If your child is a young child at this point -- and I suspect she is -- I would nicely ask the birthmother to not post her picture on the Web. Who knows who is looking? She may not think about it, but pedophiles print things like that out -- even the most innocent of pictures.

There's nothing you can do if she keeps posting them, but I would at least ask her not to do it.

Good luck.

Robin

[loveajax]

Yikes. That would really bum me out, and I consider it really an invasion of privacy. I would also nicely ask her to remove the pictures because you are not comfortable with your daughter's pic being posted so openly. Tell her you are happy for her to share them in a password protected manner with family, friends, etc. Hopefully she will understand.

[KristineM]

So, how would you go about asking her to take them off of her site? I just feel like she has taken quite a big step in just posting the pictures without checking with us first.

[loveajax]

Kristine, do you have contact info for her -- e.g., phone or email? I think I would rather ask her on the phone because emails can sound "harsher."

If you don't have direct contact info for her, could you ask someone at the agency to intervene and speak to her and relay your request???

[taramayrn]

Hi Kristine,
Your daughter's bmom really should have asked permission to post the pictures of your daughter on the internet. I don't blame you for being concerned or if you wish that she not post them. I think that is reasonable. I would gently send her an email or a phone call - depending on which is your normal form of communication, saying that you are concerned about the pictures being online to everyone and that you wish she either remove them or would have asked first.

[KristineM]

Thank you very much for your insight! I will have to contact her... I will let you all know how it goes.
(nail biting)

[taramayrn]

I know it is nervewracking, but I would approach it as an internet safety issue and not an issue about her, you know?

[pg13209]

I personally think that your daughters bmom was way out of line. It is not her place anymore. I would call her as others have suggested.If she does not want to take them off I would tell her that there would be no future pictures until you can guarentee that they will not be posted on the internet. That might prompt her to take them off and then you would fell secure again.

[kelceesmom]

For me it would bother me. Especially since she is a minor and only 2 at that. I would be frank but kind with her and let her know that you are not comfortable with what she is doing. If she does not want to take them down then let her know that you will not be forwarding any more pictures until you feel ok with it.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

Although I would not like it, it is kind of out of your hands at this point. I would ask her not to put the pictures on line...maybe even send her regular photographs...although even those can be scanned onto the internet. It is the curse of technology...and it often voids common sense. We had an issue where our photos were being forwarded to b-mom's friends. When they would lose contact, we had them contacting us for up-dates on Bear...that account quickly closed!

[rose32542]

I would be very concerned about this! (There is a pretty recent thread that talks about similar hypothetical situations.) I would definetly tell her that for you it is a safety issue, especially since her real name is used. Tell her you have no problem sharing the pics with family/close friends, but that it makes you very worried knowing the kind of predators who are out there online.

[KristineM]

Well, I let our daughters birthmom know that I am uncomfortable with having pictures of our daughter on her MySpace page. Not that I am uncomfortable with her, but that I worry about all of the wierdo's out there...

I got a response back. She stated that she hopes that she did not hurt me by posting the pictures, but that she wanted to share pictures of her guardian angel. She stated that she believes that our daughter is her guardian angel, that she helped her change her life and see things more positively.

I told her that she did not upset me at all, it is just that I am unsure about everyone being able to see the pictures... But I told her to keep them up.