[missw005]

Yah................
Several of my favorites..........

"If it's meant to be, it will happen."

Then, when I'm not chosen.....
"It must not have been meant to be." Then, with fakey concerned look.......
"Are you sure you want more kids? This (not being chosen) is a sign." Or........
"It's not as if you're attached to this child. What are you so upset about?" Or...........
"It's not like you brought him/her home or anything. You can just apply for another one."


Oh.............and the ultimate...........
"How long have you been waiting anyway? You mean you still don't have one by now? Aren't there tons of kids in foster care/special needs adoption waiting to be adopted? Maybe you're being too picky."

Uh-huh............because that's soooooooooooo helpful.

Sandy

[StorkWatcher]

OTJ - ON THE LIST - yes. That one got old.

And - You shouldn't be so frustrated. You've only been waiting 3 months (or 6, or 12, or insert your favorite number here!)

Okay - unless you have been in our shoes (and even sometimes we parents can forget how long the wait seemed), you might not realize that even one day can seem like an eternity...........

[elfhild]

Originally Posted by StorkWatcher

Okay - unless you have been in our shoes (and even sometimes we parents can forget how long the wait seemed), you might not realize that even one day can seem like an eternity...........

I have to say an Amen to that one! Even our SW got frustrated with me when I got anxious. It seemed like everyone didn't understand why I wanted my kiddos home right away. This was a good one:

You know they're okay and safe (in foster care) so just relax. They'll be home soon.


Ugggh!

[tyiakoum]

Originally Posted by missw005

Yah................
Several of my favorites..........

"If it's meant to be, it will happen."

Then, when I'm not chosen.....
"It must not have been meant to be." Then, with fakey concerned look.......
"Are you sure you want more kids? This (not being chosen) is a sign." Or........
"It's not as if you're attached to this child. What are you so upset about?" Or...........
"It's not like you brought him/her home or anything. You can just apply for another one."


Oh.............and the ultimate...........
"How long have you been waiting anyway? You mean you still don't have one by now? Aren't there tons of kids in foster care/special needs adoption waiting to be adopted? Maybe you're being too picky."

Uh-huh............because that's soooooooooooo helpful.

Sandy

Sandy, GOOD ONES! And the "the baby that was meant for your family will be the one you are placed with." HUH?

How can that be? Is it by random chance, or predestination? I don't think the Lord is standing over me and DH and just saying, "oh, that baby needs these two so let's just send that pregnant woman over there to pick them".

These days, the Lord is too busy... dealing w/the war in Iraq, Iran in crisis, North Korea, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's train-wreck marriage... (note joking tone here).

[Fran27]

Tammi, can't believe I forgot that one

[Vogi2002]

Forgot one...

Well you shouldn't worry, I had a (insert person here) that adopted and waited almost (insert number over 4 here) years before they got a baby, adopting takes SUCH a long time...

OMG they are the freaking experts now!?!

[maviskat]

Great thread!

If I hear,"If it's meant to be, it will be", one more time someone will be hurting!!!!!

or the ever popular "You know when you adopt you never know what you are going to get."

or the people who describe the latest adoption horror story movie they just saw on Lifetime and aren't you worried that that will happen to you?

Yes, everyone means well but some people need to learn that silence is very often golden!!!

Kathy

[HBV]

This thread is making me really glad we told virtually NO ONE that we were trying to adopt.

We told strictly on a need to know basis. Although I truly think people mean well for the most part, I did not want to hear the kinds of things that are showing up on this post. Look at it this way---you'll all be prepared to handle the misguided comments people make AFTER you've adopted.

[jaenelle]

Really, I haven't had any hurtful comments directly; most of the people we've told have been very happy for us.

That's not to say the wait isn't killing me -- it is. I'm trying to not be so hurt by it, although it's very hard.

May we all get our children ASAP and stop this waiting!

[beth9927]

What about, 'What will you do if the parents try to come back and get the child later?'


Or "I don't know if I could handle knowing the parents could change their minds at any time"

Oh brother.........

Beth

[tyiakoum]

Originally Posted by HBV

This thread is making me really glad we told virtually NO ONE that we were trying to adopt.

We told strictly on a need to know basis. Although I truly think people mean well for the most part, I did not want to hear the kinds of things that are showing up on this post. Look at it this way---you'll all be prepared to handle the misguided comments people make AFTER you've adopted.

We have been told by multiple sources that networking among family, friends and their family and friends can result in adoption. That is the next step you take when you have been waiting as long as DH and I. We were wicked quiet about our adoption until maybe two months ago. Then when we just knew it was going to take forever, we tried to be proactive through our friends and extended family.

It backfires because then you start hearing all the adoption horror stories, or worse, "why is it taking you guys so long, I know people who waited a week... etc"

So far our "networking" has done nothing for us. Though I did talk to a LaLeche League breastfeeding amom who adopted via her network of friends, but that's it.

[ManyTimesBlessed]

Originally Posted by tyiakoum

Or, how about, why don't you go to China, Guatemala... (insert any country but the USA)

Peeking in from the Guatemala board and had to laugh at this! We all hear "why don't you just adopt from the U.S.?"

[ocracoke]

The one that I could have seriously hurt my father for was after I had been waiting for a referral for about 8 weeks (and in the scheme of things I do understand that 8 weeks is really short) was:

"Try waiting 9 months and then you can complain." Nine months??? I had been waiting for a referral for 8 weeks, before that I had been waiting as I got paperwork ready for 8 months, and before that I had been waiting for 8 years while fertility treatment got my doctor rich. I would have loved to only have waited 9 months -- although giving birth does scare me.

Samantha

[gdaisy]

I am a teacher and I get all the time ...

Don't you get enough of kids at school? or
Are you sure you want to adopt?

Ugh.....

[dawnrenee58]

I adopted internationally, and I used to get sick of.....

"Well, those countries are so corrupt. Why don't you go down and pay someone off. You will come home with your baby."

WHAT?????? ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS!!!?????