[countrygal6465]

Hi Everyone....
I am a 32 year old married woman, and we cant have children. My hubby and I have been trying for 5 years... still no luck. I then get a phone call from my hubby, saying that his little brother (just 18, who is a twin, got his girlfriend pregnant) wants to meet with us to mabe adopt his twins to be??? I am excited but nervous. The girlfriend , 17, already has a one year old that she can't raise, and now twins??!!~~~. I am not jelious, but a little upset.. for many reasons that I dont have to explain..lol
What do I say to help her make the right decision?? or should I not get to worked up... could be our answered prayers??PLEASE NEED ADVICE!!??

countrygal

[sanielsen]

Wow, that's a pretty interesting situation! What does your heart tell you to do?

[Leigh131313]

So, this is an in-family potential adoption...

I think the first thing I would do, if approached with this...is assist in any way I could to help her/him find ways to raise this child themselves..

If after researching, they still feel adoption is the right choice for them...I would need to make sure we were all on the same page. In family situations can be touchy if people don't realize their roles. Relationships can be extremely strained.

I would probably recomend they check out other couples as well, so that they do not feel they HAVE to place with you....that way they can make an informed decision..

If at the end of all of this, they still want you...ride it out. Be supportive, but be prepared that they may decide to parent.

Good luck

[bajj]

Originally Posted by Leigh131313

So, this is an in-family potential adoption...

I think the first thing I would do, if approached with this...is assist in any way I could to help her/him find ways to raise this child themselves..

If after researching, they still feel adoption is the right choice for them...I would need to make sure we were all on the same page. In family situations can be touchy if people don't realize their roles. Relationships can be extremely strained.

I would probably recomend they check out other couples as well, so that they do not feel they HAVE to place with you....that way they can make an informed decision..

If at the end of all of this, they still want you...ride it out. Be supportive, but be prepared that they may decide to parent.

Good luck

I agree with Leigh. I think you should also be prepared that if they decide to place, they may not place with you.

As far as helping her "make the right choice," no one but the parents can decide what the right choice is. Yes, it is easy to believe the right choice would be to place that child with you, but that may not be it. If they do, great, if they don't, you still need to be able to support them and their decision.

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by Leigh131313

So, this is an in-family potential adoption...

I think the first thing I would do, if approached with this...is assist in any way I could to help her/him find ways to raise this child themselves..

If after researching, they still feel adoption is the right choice for them...I would need to make sure we were all on the same page. In family situations can be touchy if people don't realize their roles. Relationships can be extremely strained.

I would probably recomend they check out other couples as well, so that they do not feel they HAVE to place with you....that way they can make an informed decision..

If at the end of all of this, they still want you...ride it out. Be supportive, but be prepared that they may decide to parent.

Good luck

I agree with Leigh. The best decision it would seem to me is to be as supportive as you can be for whatever they, as the parents to these children, make. I honestly would be very hands-off. If they do choose adoption, I think it is important that you prepare yourself that they may choose another family for a variety of reasons, including to keep the family relationships intact. THey may choose you and that would come with a whole other set of issues but none that couldn't be overcome with good communication, esp if you gave them the time and space to make the decision they wanted, no pressure.