[Fran27]

Ok, I have a problem.

I'm not matched yet, but I can't help wondering what I'm going to do when I am.

I work part time, and I want to quit my job when we get the baby to be a SAHM but... when should I give my two weeks notice????

What if I give my notice and the match fails, and I find myself without a job and not being able to get another one as I won't know when I will be matched again? My boss understands the situation and is ok with it, but I can't imagine trying to find another job knowing I might have to quit again one month later or something...

My agency has 20% of emergency placements and I almost hope we will have one of those, just so the decision is easier for us...

If you were in the same situation, how did you handle it?

[DianeScraps]

What about hooking up with a temp agency 'just in case'?

[Fran27]

Good idea, but I tried a few years ago and they refused me because my previous experience was in France and they can't check my references

[SchmennaLeigh]

I'm taking it that your current employer doesn't offer time off when you bring your child home? Munchkin's Mom had six weeks of child care leave and then, at the end of that, turned in her two week notice.

If your employer is understanding, could you simply talk and ask what they would prefer that you do?

[Leigh131313]

Hi Fran

Have you spoken to your boss about this? I simply explained what was going on to our HR person, I told her I would keep her updated, but could make no promises on time frames, she totally understood.

How we did it was...

I told her when we started the process

I told her when we were matched

I called her when we got "the call" that baby was on the way (to cover my shifts)

I called once more after everything was a "done deal"



I was never in jeopardy of losing my job, because all she did was fill my shift until everything was done.

[Fran27]

It's a good idea... The problem is that it's a small company of 10 people, and that they will have to replace me if I leave, even if it was just for 6 weeks.

I guess I'm in a pretty annoying situation I guess I'll talk to my boss if we get matched...

[Linny]

I think the main thing to realize is that a 'match' is in no firm way a 'placement'. I'm sure you know this, but some agencies have a way of making couples feel that it's a sure thing 'if you're matched'!!!!! Not true.
This board is full of hopeful adoptive parents who were sure the pregnant lady was going to place; yet decided at the last minute to parent her child.
My suggestion is to speak to your boss; and let him/her know how tenative this process can be. I personally wouldn't quit my job, until relinquishment papers were signed and everyone was sure adoption was the plan.

As far as emergency placements: These have always been the favored way for us too. Thankfully, our last two babies have come to us this way...and it's been great.
My best to you and hope that your wait will be short.

Sincerely,

Linny

[MollyinSD]

Well I was a teacher before our adoption and when we first got picked I gave my notice and was ready to bail. a few days later she changed her mind. Luckily I had just used some sick days and not much was lost.

When we got called again and I knew she had 30 days to change her mind I was gunshy. So I continued to work. Luckily it occured in February where we had 2 Mondays off and such. I would go to work for a day or two while hubby stayed home, or my father or MIL/FIL and then take a day or 2 off. I continued this until the 30 day period passed and then I left officially.

I didn't tell my students until the last week because they had grieved with me when our other adoption fell through and I did not want to put them through this. All they knew was that their teacher was suddenly grumpy (sleep deprived) and making lesson plans like nobody's business!

Since there was only a 15 day period between our match that fell through and getting rematched, I just needed to be careful all around. Luckily my principal was more than willing to work with me!

[patti Daniels]

I know at my job the adoptive parent has the same rights as a biological mom. I do believe this is a right in the USA, but I am not positive. The bmom works until she thinks it is close to delivery or some work until they go into labor. An amom could work until the baby comes home. I would let the employer know that you are expecting a baby. It might be over 9 months or shorter. The amom should have the same rights as the bmom.

[icunurse]

I was in s somewhat similar situation, as when I was working full-time, any time I wanted off would have to be rescheduled to keep adequate staffing. Fortunately, my co-workes and manager were extremely sensitive about everything. All i did was keep my manager informed of what was going on. When we were matched, I told her what exactly "matched" means (ie. definitely not a "sure thing", etc.) and when the baby was due. Our first match didn't happen, so I was never even taken off the schedule. When we were matched again, I told my boss, gave the due date. When I had more info (date of induction), I told my boss that, too. She moved my days around a bit so I would be off around the date, but not use vacation time (my job didn't give paid leave for adoption). She never took me off the schedule or made any long-term changes until I called her, after TPR's were signed and valid, and said I would be off for 12 weeks (now I just work a few days a month). Best advice - just keep them posted and don't make any sudden/permanent decisions until you have a baby in your arms.

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by Fran27

Ok, I have a problem.

I'm not matched yet, but I can't help wondering what I'm going to do when I am.

I work part time, and I want to quit my job when we get the baby to be a SAHM but... when should I give my two weeks notice????

What if I give my notice and the match fails, and I find myself without a job and not being able to get another one as I won't know when I will be matched again? My boss understands the situation and is ok with it, but I can't imagine trying to find another job knowing I might have to quit again one month later or something...

My agency has 20% of emergency placements and I almost hope we will have one of those, just so the decision is easier for us...

If you were in the same situation, how did you handle it?

My job situation may have been unique but they knew that I could be matched anytime and instantly and that when that happened I was done. We worked to prepare for my job to be covered by others for the year of mat leave I was taking, and then put the plan into place when Bug was born 2 days after the match. The fact is... if you were pregnant there would be no guarantees of the timeline either. You could go earlier than expected or have complications such as bedrest.

ANd complete honesty about the possibility of the match failing worked for us...