[elcid76]

We started trying to adopt one of my students last Sep. She is now 13 but was 12 then and had been in foster care for 6 years. Due to my background, the agency that DSS had contracted to handle her told us we could have her within 2 months. We said that that was great and did everything thy asked to make this happen. Then theings got bizarre. They said we were too anxious because we still wanted that fast a placement. We eventually went straight thru DSS starting after Thanksgiving and things stetched out until our homestudy was finally approved in early May.
The agency had made us stop contact between my daughter and this child as they were afraid that she might tell the girl we were trying to adopt her. Yesterday her new caseworker said that was dumb and my daughter is spending the night at the foster home right now. It seems that no one is thinking about the girl except my family and the foster parents. The foster parents are also pushing DSS to let us adopt her.
Theoritcally they should have had a committee meeting about us and this child soon after that. So far there has been no movement. I contacted one of the agencies that keeps watch on DSS and was told it might take another year. The state is now advertising on the radio about adopting foster kids, but doesn't seem to be serious about it.
Does anyone have any way to light a fire under these bureaucrats before this poor child ages out???

[SanInUtah]

Originally Posted by elcid76

We started trying to adopt one of my students last Sep. She is now 13 but was 12 then and had been in foster care for 6 years. Due to my background, the agency that DSS had contracted to handle her told us we could have her within 2 months. We said that that was great and did everything thy asked to make this happen. Then theings got bizarre. They said we were too anxious because we still wanted that fast a placement. We eventually went straight thru DSS starting after Thanksgiving and things stetched out until our homestudy was finally approved in early May.
The agency had made us stop contact between my daughter and this child as they were afraid that she might tell the girl we were trying to adopt her. Yesterday her new caseworker said that was dumb and my daughter is spending the night at the foster home right now. It seems that no one is thinking about the girl except my family and the foster parents. The foster parents are also pushing DSS to let us adopt her.
Theoritcally they should have had a committee meeting about us and this child soon after that. So far there has been no movement. I contacted one of the agencies that keeps watch on DSS and was told it might take another year. The state is now advertising on the radio about adopting foster kids, but doesn't seem to be serious about it.
Does anyone have any way to light a fire under these bureaucrats before this poor child ages out???

Hi There,

Okay, now you're in my backyard!

You should be licensed as a foster care provider, sounds like you probably are already.

It sounds to me like you have;
a) been dealing with an agency that ruled you out as a placement a long time ago, for whatever reason, and has been waiting for you to get frustrated and move on
b) sees her as easy money and is in no way eager to get her adopted and
c) you have a county social worker who knows what she is doing .

So, you're still in a good position. Trust the county worker and ask her for help expediting placement. Tell her that you're looking for that child to celebrate the upcoming holidays as a permanent resident in your home. Let her know that this isn't about being overeager, and let her know that you were accused of that, but that this has been drawn on too long and your family needs to have a plan in place.

Ask for weekend visitation, in preperation for her coming to live with you. Ask for a transition plan and start implementing it. She should be spending one day per week in some family activity, maybe dinner or a trip to a park. Take her shopping for school clothes, to the mall for lunch with just you or just you and your daughter. Show effort and initative in arranging interactions.

If the county social worker wants to she can remove the child from the agency's roster, change agency workers within the existing agency, place her with another agency altogether or decide to move her straight into adoptions without any contracted agency's involvement. An agency has, well, 'agency' to represent a child's best interests with the goal of adoption...but only because the county asked them to manage her case file. The CSW is the only one communicating with the courts.
Her county social worker has final say on EVERYTHING. She can decide to put her in your home with no further At this point, I'd ask the CSW to handle the adoption personally, so that you dont' have to continue your reliance on the agency. (Ask in those terms.)

I'm not wrong about the reason you don't have placement. They told you they didn't like you...There was a red flag somewhere, and it may not have been your fault at all. Either you were dealing with a young, inexperienced, suspicious, moronic, agency worker or you were dealing with a perception problem. Whatever it is, they charted their issues and have communicated it to the county. Agency workers are usually working on their licensing as SW's so that they can move on to bigger and better jobs. They are generally inexperienced and have a greater fear of making an error, because they have less intuition. Was the agency case worker in their 20's? I'm betting so.

It's time for you to sit down face-to-face with this social worker and find out what the path is to placement. I've dealt with similar issues. It's doable. You've got the big dog on your side and she is right, the agency's actions were 'dumb'. Don't dwell on the past and don't rush things. Let the CSW know that nothing you were originally told has been validated and that you need a realistic timeline. The county prays for parents who are willing to adopt teenagers. She will probably be very helpful. If not, let me know. There's other options.

[hotspice58]

Media or politician. Their goal is supposed to have all foster kids adopted. I don't understand the problem. Write a letter to a major newspaper or news station and/or contact a politician. Can't hurt.

[Linny]

I'd have to say that your problem with the system is totally common. INSANE? ABSOLUTELY! And there is truly NO excuse for the system to act this way; but alas, this is why so many people throw up their hands and say, 'Forget it all!" (Who could blame them.)
In our experience of over 14yrs and dealing with the system within our state, this is the basic attitude. Sad, but true.
If you don't get anywhere with the suggestions that San has given, try hotspice's suggestion. Keep in mind that it usually goes that 'the squeeky wheel gets the grease'. There are oftentimes so many unseen ego trips within agencies and the system in general, the kids (as usual) often get the shaft.
While older child adoption was not been a pleasant experience for our family; I know that there are successful ones out there. The main thing to remember is to keep focused on what the goal is----and don't take 'no' for an answer! ((HUG))
Hang in there!

Sincerely,

Linny